Let me ask you a question about your marriage, and try to answer it as honestly as you can. Are you silently “keeping score?” In other words, do you tally your spouse’s faults and weaknesses while only taking note of your own good deeds? And once you’re ahead, do you leverage your scorecard to bully your spouse or get your own way?
In April of 2009 our couples’ therapist asked me; “Do you want to save your marriage?”
My wife and I had come to him in a state of crisis after she recently revealed her involvement in an affair. I should make clear this wasn’t something she had admitted doing and now it was over. No, it was something she was currently doing without any indications she might be willing to stop.