Author Topic: "JOURNEY TO MORIAH" a bible based short story from "God Tales"  (Read 584 times)

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Offline Jacob Ben Avraham

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                              JOURNEY TO MORIAH   by rabbi Jacob Ben Avraham

     The old man slowly lifted the flap covering the entrance to his tent.  He looked
down at his wife who was fast asleep on the large ornate rug covering the sandy dirt floor.  If only she knew what the true purpose of this trip was.  She would die a thousand deaths.  There would be no turning back.  He had to obey, no questions asked.  It was just a matter of obedience.  He had his orders from above.  He would obey no matter what.   
     He walked outside into the early morning desert air.  It was still cool and the ground moist from the night’s dew.  Soon, the sun would arise over the eastern horizon and scorch the desert sand like a furnace. 
     The old man had a small ram’s horn tucked under his cloth belt that was wound about his tunic.  He took it out and blew a long blast that resonated across the desert sands. He observed the many tents that covered the encampment.  From two tents, two of his servants emerged, ready for the three-day journey that was ahead.  They began folding and securing the tenting, poles, ropes, and wooden pegs to the backs of two donkeys. 
     Food was also secured for the trip.  The servants packed dried fruit, dried lamb , goat meat, and skins of water.  The old man personally bound sticks of wood to his donkey
And placed the piece of iron and a flint stone in a pouch on the donkey’s saddle. All was ready, only now he had to get his son up.  He went over to his son’s tent and slowly lifted the flap that covered the entrance.  His son was still asleep on the rug, covered with some blankets woven from sheep’s wool. Perhaps, he hadn’t heard the ram’s horn.
     The father bent down and shook his son ever so softly.
     “Son, it’s time.”
     The son slowly opened his eyes and looked up at his father.
     “Alright father, I’ll be ready in a few minutes” said the son, slowly pushing aside the woolen blankets, reaching for his sandals.
     The father stepped out of his son’s tent and went over to the servants who were readying the asses and making sure that everything was tied and secure.  The old man nodded his head in approval, seeing that everything was in order.  He turned to look toward his son’s tent, seeing him emerging, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, but still ready for the long, three-day trip from Beersheva to the land of Moriah.
     “Let’s go” shouted the old man, as he lifted his staff in the air.  The four-man caravan started moving northward along a familiar trail which stood out among the desert sands.
Here and there, small desert animals would scurry around; serpents, scorpions, and lizards, all searching the sands for their morning meals. 
       Time passed slowly, as the caravan moved ever so slowly northward.  The sun grew high into the clear, cloudless sky touching the travelers with its rays of intense heat. 
At midday, the group stopped for a rest.  There was a small oasis where the thirsty donkeys drank their fill of fresh, cool water.  The group sat down and ate some dried fruit and a few strips of dried goat meat
     The old man, however, did not eat.  He wandered a ways off from the group and just stood with eyes glued to the horizon in the east.  He stood there deep in thought when he felt a hand on his arm.
     “Father, will we continue our journey?”
     “Now” replied the father, “we leave now.
     Father and son returned to the two servants who were already waiting by the donkeys.
The servants were wondering about the full purpose of this trip, as the old man did not give a detailed explanation. They were just to be ready to make a three-day trip to the land of Moriah.
     The old man gave the word, and the group of four moved out, continuing along the dry, dusty road northward to Moriah.  The sun traveled across the clear, blue sky, its heat scorching the travelers with its intensity. The desert wind swirled columns of dust around and around them as they continued their trip north.
     At the end of the first day, the old man gave the order to set up camp.  The servants untied the tent poles with the ropes, and the tenting cloth from the backs of the weary donkeys.  As soon as the camp was set up, the servants, the old man and his son sat down around a small fire and talked about the events of the day.  Bread was broken and passed around along with strips of dried goats meat warmed over the fire.  There was also a small sack filled with dried dates and figs.
     The sun went down over the western horizon, the servants and the old man’s son went into their tents for the night. Only the old man continued to sit by the fire.  After a while, he got up. With staff in hand he walked away form the camp until the camp fire was just a glowing speck in the distance.
     He sat down one a large rock and stared into the star filled night sky toward the east.
He sat there thinking of God’s promise, the promise of a nation, a nation descending from his seed.  But how would that be possible now?  His thoughts turned to the past, a past of bitter memories.  He remembered the once populous city of Sodom which lay toward the south of the great sea of the east.  It was a sea which once teamed with life, but now, void of all living creatures
     God had brought judgment to Sodom and Gomorra for their wickedness and vile sin.
The LORD rained down fire and brimstone so much that, save for his nephew Lot and his daughters, not so much as one soul escaped the inferno.  Now Sodom and Gomorra are no more.  Their inhabitants as well as the sea near it, dead.  The once living sea became a sea of salt.  A sea which witnessed the wickedness of its vile neighbors, the children of sin who perished under the weight of the fire of God, to arise no more. 
     The old man continued to stare into the east, his head filled with those memories.  He lifted his head up to gaze into the starry sky.  His eyes followed a star as it streaked across the heavens.  His thoughts again returned to the promise, a promise made to him so many years ago.  Some how, it would come to past.  A nation would come from his son.
     Suddenly, the old man heard footsteps.  He looked toward the encampment to see a figure walking toward him in the light of the moon.  The moonlight revealed the figure of his son. 
     “You can’t sleep father?” asked the son as he walked up beside the old man.
     “No” said the old man as he embraced his son.  “I have a lot on my mind” looking again towards the east.
     “You’re thinking of Sodom, aren’t you?” said the son, also turning to look towards the east.
     “Yes son”, replied the old man, “the LORD is not willing that anyone perish, but     
     Because of the extreme wickedness of the people of Sodom and Gomorra, their destruction was imminent”.   
     “Were the little children and babies of Sodom and Gomorra wicked too father?”
asked the son looking deeply into his father’s eyes.
     The old man thought for a while, gazing again toward the east.  His son asked an interesting question which needed to be answered with wisdom.  He turned again to face his son.
     “What would have been better son?” asked the father, “that innocent children grow up to be wicked and vile sinners, to be destroyed and for ever be separated from the presence of God? Or that the LORD take the innocent children to be with him and so avoid becoming vile and wicked sinners, and thus destroyed , for ever to be separated from his holy presence?”
    The old man’s son thought for while. His father’s wisdom made sense. “I understand father” replied the son, slowly nodding his head.  The two continued to stare off into the eastern sky, their thought now like- minded.   Above them, the twinkling stars slowly moved across the night sky, reminders of the promise made years ago.  Both father and son were very much part of that promise.
     “let’s go back to our tents son” said the old man, turning again toward the small encampment, “the night is still young”.  Walking side by side, both the old man and his son walked back to their encampment for a good night’s rest.
     By mid-morning, the small caravan was on its way again heading north to Moriah. The
group trudged on and, stopping to rest at midday when the strong desert sun was directly overhead, bearing down with all of its intense heat.  The group refilled the water skins with fresh, cool water from an oasis.  The beasts also had their rest, drinking the cool, refreshing water from the oasis together with the grain that the servants had brought for them.
     After the rest stop, the small caravan continued on the journey.  Little by little, they made their way toward the land of Moriah, it wouldn’t be long now.  As the sun set at the end of the second day, the group pitched their tents.  As the evening before, the old man wandered off a distance to pray and meditate on the strange task before him. Could he dare deny God anything?
     The old man’s son looked across the desert from the entrance of his tent.  He saw the outline of his father in the light of the moon.  This night, he did not join him.  He had the feeling that his father wanted to be alone with his thoughts.
     On the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the place afar off (Gen 22:4) He turned to watch his two servants who were following close behind him.  As they got closer, he lifted up his hand for them to stop.  There was a shallow well beside the road.  Abraham pointed to the well.  The servants went over to refresh themselves and their beasts also.
     Abraham proceeded to untie the bundle of firewood from the back of his donkey.  He also took out the iron and flint to start the fire.  He then walked over to where his two servants were watering their donkeys.  He walked slowly, pondering his mission.  A test, could it indeed be another test of his faith? 
     “Stay here with the donkey” Abraham said to his young men, “the lad and I will go yonder and worship, and we will come back to you”  (Gen 22:5)  Abraham thought about the words which just proceeded from his mouth.  WE will come back to you? Indeed WE?
      So Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son, and he took the fire in his hand, and the knife, and the two of them went together. (Gen 22:6)
     Slowly, both father and son ascended the small mountain called Moriah.  Abraham lead the way and his son Isaac followed close behind.  When they neared the top of Moriah, Isaac looked around .  He had a puzzling look on his face, as if something were missing. He finally revealed his thoughts to Abraham his father.
     “My father” and he said “Here I am my son”.  Then Isaac responded;
     “Look, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” (Gen 22:7)
     Abraham looked at his son, his eyes filled with love and compassion.  He loved his boy but he also loved God. Could he dare deny the creator of life, a life that he himself created?
     Then Abraham said;
     “My son, God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering”.
      So the two of them went together.  Then they came to the place of which God had told them.  And Abraham built an altar there and placed the wood in order and he bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar, upon the wood.  (Gen 22:8, 9)
      Isaac looked up at his father with tears in his eyes.  He could hardly believe what was happening.  The lamb for the sacrifice, the lamb, he, Isaac, would be the lamb.  A human lamb? How could such a sacrifice be?
     “Father” said Isaac quietly, “how can the God of the universe, of all creation, the creator of all that is good want a human sacrifice? Does he not detest such practices?”
     Abraham, with tears in his eyes looked down at his son who was bound with rope, laying on the wood. What words could he say to his son, the chosen son of the covenant?
     “Yes my son” said Abraham, his voice cracking, “God does indeed detest such practices,
But still I must trust him in all things”
     “Is there nothing you can refuse him father?”
     “nothing” replied Abraham with tears flowing from his eyes.
     “Go ahead then father” replied Isaac, “I am ready to be the sacrifice he demands of you”.  Abraham slowly nodded.
     “I love you son”
     “I love you too father” replied Isaac.
     And Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.  But the Angel of the LORD called to him from heaven and said;
     “Abraham, Abraham”  so he said
     “Here I am” and he said
     “Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do any thing to him; for now I know that you fear
God since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” (Gen 22:11-12)
     “Thank you LORD” whispered Abraham, “Thank you”.
     Isaac opened his eyes and looked up at his father.  Both were smiling now.  Both had passed the test. A test of obedience, a test of faith, a test of courage.
     “It’s all right son” said Abraham, “God did not really intend for you to be the sacrifice”
     Abraham sat Isaac up on the wood.  He then cut the ropes that bound Isaac hands and feet.  As Isaac got down from the stone altar, he looked at something moving in some bushes behind his father.
     “Father, look behind you, there’s something moving.”
      Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked and there behind him was a ram caught in a thicket by its horns.  So Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up for a burnt
offering instead of his son.  (Gen 22:13)
     Father and son stood there by the altar of stone.  The body of the perfect ram was bloodied and bursting with bright, orange flames.  Soon it was just a charred skeleton completely consumed by the flames.
     “This was a lesson about faith my son” said Abraham as he held his son by his side.
“God had intended all along that this ram be the sacrifice that would take your place on the pile of wood.  He wanted to see if I was willing to offer you up my son”
     “Would you…..would you have brought down the knife upon me really father?” asked Isaac, looking up deeply into his father’s eyes.
     “Yes son” replied Abraham, “I would have, and the LORD knoweth all thoughts and all deeds even before hand.  Thus he prepared the ram for the burnt offering.  Can you understand that my son?”
     “Yes father” replied Isaac, meditating on what his father had just said, “I think so.”
     “Now” said Abraham, “Let’s go back down and return home. I believe your mother is awaiting our return.”
     As father and son started back down the mountain, Isaac looked back one more time at the altar and the ram, which was now only a small pile of smoldering ashes.
     “Only the future will reveal the true meaning of this lesson today son” said Abraham embracing his son Isaac.
     And Abraham called the name of the place, The LORD-will-provide, as it is said to this day.  In the mount of the LORD it shall be provided. (Gen 22:14)
     As father and son stood there that day upon the summit of the LORD’s mountain, they heard the voice of the Angel of God calling out a second time from heaven saying:
     “By myself I have sworn, says the LORD because you have done this thing and have not withheld your son, your only son; blessing I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heavens and as the sand which is on the seashore, and your descendants shall possess the gate of your enemies. In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed because you have obeyed my voice.”  (Gen 22:15-18)
     Father and son smiled at each other.  “Blessed be the LORD” said Abraham lifting up his hands toward heaven.  “Blessed be his Holy Name” replied Isaac also lifting up his hands toward heaven.
     So Abraham and Isaac returned to the servants who were awaiting them at the foot of the Mount of God, and went together to Beersheva, and Abraham dwelt at Beersheva
(Gen 22:19)

AUTHOR'S END NOTE:    Do we have the faith of Abraham? are we exercising it? faith is not "blind" it is trusting in the person who will supply all of our needs, through Messiah Yeshua.  Even though some things might look bleak, our Heavenly Master has a plan to work in you, like Joseph, he went from the prison to being governor, can you trust the LORD in all things?    [/center][/center]

Offline New Creation

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Re: "JOURNEY TO MORIAH" a bible based short story from "God Tales"
« Reply #1 on: Sun Dec 28, 2014 - 02:26:00 »
Why is your end note different here than the one on Amazon? I prefer that one much better. Overall, I enjoyed this narrative. I have often wondered if a book exists that gives a  first-person account of people in the bible and while your attempt was a good one I can't bring myself to purchase it because it appears this is the only narrative based in the bible that resides in your book. There are hints here and there that this was written by a novice writer but I encourage you to continue perfecting your art because I see much potential. I spend a lot of time reading books but am no means a critic as much as someone who lives on a mountain can be considered a geologist.

In the beginning you refer to the characters as "father" and "old man"; the boy as "the son" but in the middle you suddenly switch to calling them by name. I thought this most peculiar. In the beginning of the narrative I feel you need to do something with this quote "If only she knew what the true purpose of this trip was. She would die a thousand deaths." I feel it should be more like this, "The old man thought to himself, "If she only knew what the true purpose of this trip was, she would die a thousand deaths."" You start with a narrator telling the story and then completely switch to the first person thoughts of Abraham, this can be confusing. Another issue is sentence structure. You take one idea and split it into multiple sentences, the aforementioned quote being one example. You do well-enough with adjectives, painting imagery in the reader's mind, which is why I feel that you should have taken the liberty to go into more detail about the binding of Isaac. I know you were quoting the bible directly but I still don't see a reason why you couldn't have done this outside of the quote. One last thing, something about the word flap being used to describe the tents covering just bothers me as it seems too under-developed or rudimentary. "...and slowly lifted the outer cover that closed off the entrance."

Just my  ::twocents:: Like I said, I'm no geologist.

Offline Jacob Ben Avraham

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Re: "JOURNEY TO MORIAH" a bible based short story from "God Tales"
« Reply #2 on: Wed Dec 31, 2014 - 16:36:15 »
When you eat an apple, eat it in order to enjoy it, but if you dig around looking for worms, you become so preoccupied in looking for imperfect things in the apple, you forget to enjoy it, so, just enjoy the story! download it, you might be surprised, it's only $3.00 less than a gallon of gas, who knows, maybe before 100 years go by, I just might get a check from Amazon, but who knows, I don't write for the money, just to witness to others through faith based fiction

Offline New Creation

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Re: "JOURNEY TO MORIAH" a bible based short story from "God Tales"
« Reply #3 on: Thu Jan 01, 2015 - 14:46:37 »
My apologies. As a writer myself I am always looking for constructive criticism on how to improve my writing and I feel that my writing has indeed improved because of it. Blessings for the new year, rabbi.