Arranged Marriages

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

Questions:

1.  Are Arranged Marriages legitimate marriages?

2.  If the marriage is arranged in exchange for money, does that undermine the legitimacy of the marriage?

3.  If the one spouse treats the other as property, is that legitimate grounds for annulment/divorce?

[chosenone]

Good questions and I am not sure, but I do know that I am VERY glad that we dont have arranged marriages.

[Wycliffes_Shillelagh]

Yeeeeah.

And if I told you that this isn't just a theoretical issue?

[chosenone]

Yeeeeah.

And if I told you that this isn't just a theoretical issue?

 

not sure what you mean?

[HRoberson]

Questions:

1.  Are Arranged Marriages legitimate marriages?

2.  If the marriage is arranged in exchange for money, does that undermine the legitimacy of the marriage?

3.  If the one spouse treats the other as property, is that legitimate grounds for annulment/divorce?

Yes.
No.
Not necessarily.

[dallasapple]

I think arranged marriages are legitimate as long as both parties are age of consent and they enter in willingly with no reservations.No coersion.

I think to answer the second question that sounds like human trafficking to me.We should never be able to buy or sell another human being.

As to the 3rd question same thing.We should never be able to "own" another human beign and we should never be forced into slavery.

Love

Dallas

[shygirl]

Questions:

1.  Are Arranged Marriages legitimate marriages?

2.  If the marriage is arranged in exchange for money, does that undermine the legitimacy of the marriage?

3.  If the one spouse treats the other as property, is that legitimate grounds for annulment/divorce?

1. Yes. It's legit. Once you get to an arranged marriage whether in exchange for money or anything (once you signed those marriage papers) it's legal. It's considered legit whatever the reason(s) for that marriage is. It's like an arranged contract two people get into. Same as other contracts, the only difference is they have to be together for whatever reason it is. (If you'll be on an arranged marriage, i don't think you'll want the authorities knew that it was arranged, so as long as both parties signed it, it's cosidered legal, by law.)
2. Not at all, as ive'd said its legal. So you are both bound to the same legitimacy as of all other marriages (arranged or not).
3. This part i'm not sure if they can do that with each other (it's not impossible though), i mean, they get into an arranged marriage for certain reason(s), before two person go into such things they already planned for it. For example they got married just to say that they're married (to get whatever one/both person need) but can still go out with other people. It's more likely a contract between the two person involve (like a bussiness contract?). Usually no emotions or physical thing involve (well, it'll depend if they'll fall for each other but afaik it's just a contract two people agreed to get into, to both get something). And as of getting a divorce, once it's arranged they also have plans on how to end that marriage after getting what they needed.


  that's how i understand it

[BAH-BLAH]

Last July I had a long talk with a guy in India about this. I was there on a biz trip and he owns a company we deal with and we were talking small talk, family etc and he said he had 20 something daughter in uni. I asked about marriage etc and he explained that the entire family, him, wife, both their parents, uncles, aunts, everyone gets involved as they discuss "candidates"...a boy from another family they all know. then BOTH familes extended families get together and they worry this thing to death before they decide to proceed. They do take her wish to account in most cases. But because this massive endorsement, the 2 familes long history, and such, these marriages generally thrive.
Not all cultures or even all Indians approach it this way...but his description didnt sound too bad. They do have far less divorces and far less social pathologies than we.

[dallasapple]

Last July I had a long talk with a guy in India about this. I was there on a biz trip and he owns a company we deal with and we were talking small talk, family etc and he said he had 20 something daughter in uni. I asked about marriage etc and he explained that the entire family, him, wife, both their parents, uncles, aunts, everyone gets involved as they discuss "candidates"...a boy from another family they all know. then BOTH familes extended families get together and they worry this thing to death before they decide to proceed. They do take her wish to account in most cases. But because this massive endorsement, the 2 familes long history, and such, these marriages generally thrive.
Not all cultures or even all Indians approach it this way...but his description didnt sound too bad. They do have far less divorces and far less social pathologies than we.

This doesnt sound bad at all to me either.Multiple "wiser" adults..considering everything including the input of the girl and hopefully THE boy too.

Even though I will say (not that you said this) it shouldnt be the couple meets only on the day of the marriage.I think they should get a chance to socialize a bit.Im not even talking about "falling in love" ..Just get a chance to meet and say what they think about thier possible future together.

I have heard some of the most wonderful in fact enchanting stories of arranged marriages.That started out as a "good match" on a practical level..and ended up in undying love and respect for one another.

Love

Dallas

[BAH-BLAH]

They arranged mine. I was told "stand over here, shut up until I say talk, then say this"....strictly arranged Id say

[chosenone]

I think that God has far more idea of arranging marriages than any parents or family.My MIL doesn't even like me, yet me and my dh are really happy and so right for each other.God bought us together in an amazing way.
So God is definitely my marriage arranger.

[dallasapple]

I think that God has far more idea of arranging marriages than any parents or family.My MIL doesn't even like me, yet me and my dh are really happy and so right for each other.God bought us together in an amazing way.
So God is definitely my marriage arranger.

I dont think that its a matter of if your marriage WASNT arranged means that God didnt have a hand in it.Or that if your marriage was "arranged" that means he didnt.

Someone having an arranged marriage that turns out beautifully doesnt negate yours did too .

Love

Dallas

[dallasapple]

They arranged mine. I was told "stand over here, shut up until I say talk, then say this"....strictly arranged Id say

They arranged mine. I was told "stand over here, shut up until I say talk, then say this"....strictly arranged Id say

Thats basically how mine went too..LOL!!..My husband "arranged" it..I wore a dress I already had..My mother found the church...My MIL gaurded me in the bathroom because I could see the "exit sign"..But no one even bothered to give me tissue.

Love

Dallas

[dallasapple]

I think that God has far more idea of arranging marriages than any parents or family.My MIL doesn't even like me, yet me and my dh are really happy and so right for each other.God bought us together in an amazing way.
So God is definitely my marriage arranger.

This is actually kind of perturbing me that you said this.Im not trying to be confrontational but why would you think that God has no hand in arranged marriages which is basically what you are saying.

The fact that your MIL doesnt like you doesnt mean that your marriage is any more God's idea than in a marriage where the MIL does like the wife of her son and even picked her out.

Love

Dallas

[RED SHIFT1]

My wife has a Orthodox Jewish friend who's grandparents were married just like this.  When both were around 6, their parents decided when they reached a certain age (what that was I don't know) they would be married.  Doing the math, I think they got married around the age of 19.  They were married 54 years.