Author Topic: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?  (Read 42660 times)

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Offline NeedingYourPrayers

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Several nights ago I posted the story of how my wife left me in December 09 for a man whom she first fornicated with and who took her virginity. (That was way back in 1974, when she was only 13! He was allegedly the h.s. stud whom all the girls wanted and now my wife feels like she FINALLY won out over all the other girls who wanted him after 36 yrs.)

What I didn't post was that she was married 3 times before I married her in 1998. I was married twice before I married her. But I was not a Christian until just recently. I had thought when I married my wife that she was a commited serious Christian who had put away her sexual sins from the past, but perhaps I married the wrong person.

To me a true Christian is someone who is seriously bothered by ANY sin that they commit. A true Christian cannot continue to sin over and over and not be bothered by their sin. A true Christian hates his or her sin--and when they sin--they quickly confess it to Jesus have a change of heart and mind. They repent. Jesus said, "If you love me you'll obey me." I take that verse extremely seriously.

Now we all sin from time to time, but I'm not talking about the occasional sin. I'm talking about a long walk away from God's will and His word into a sinful lifestyle; in this case: ADULTERY! And then DIVORCING a spouse so that one can be with their co-adulterer.

This is a two part question that I want your opinions on:

1) Can a person be a true Christian and commit adultery? If so, then how do they assuage their conscience? If they're truly saved, can they have any peace from God? (I can't even begin to imagine commiting adultery against my spouse.)

2) Have some of you experienced former spouses who commited adultery and what became of them for this sin? What were their consequences? Aren't there always consequences for sin? Does God bless adulterous unions?





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Offline HRoberson

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2010, 04:12:53 PM »
1. Yes. They assuage it the same way anyone else does. The preferred option though, is that they would correct both their heart and their behavior. However, her current marriage (assuming she's married) is just as valid as any of hers or yours have been. If she follows God, God will bless her.

2. Does not apply.

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2010, 04:12:53 PM »

Offline NeedingYourPrayers

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2010, 04:25:18 PM »
You believe that God blesses marriages formed out of adultery? I wasn't a Christian until recently and so in my past I had no regard for what Scripture said about marriage or adultery.

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2010, 04:25:18 PM »

Offline HRoberson

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2010, 04:27:02 PM »
God blesses those that turn to Him. How He does that is up to Him.

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2010, 04:27:02 PM »

Offline NeedingYourPrayers

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2010, 04:30:18 PM »
So then you believe that when the temptation of lust turns into the action of adultery and the adulterer divorces their spouse to be with the co-adulterer, God says, "Oh well, they're turning to me now (or at some point) so I'll overlook their sin and bless them?" Is that what you believe?

Aren't you forgetting that sins have consequences? And that God HATES divorce?

And I'm speaking of two people who are Christians. Not people who are unsaved. Btw, the co-adulterer is unsaved, so my soon-to-be-ex is eventually going to yoke herself to an unbeliever.

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2010, 04:30:18 PM »



Offline Mac

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1) Can a person be a true Christian and commit adultery? If so, then how do they assuage their conscience? If they're truly saved, can they have any peace from God? (I can't even begin to imagine commiting adultery against my spouse.)

Of course this is my opinion. But here goes.. Based on 1 John 3

Yes and no.

Yes, a Christian can sin. But no, they can't live in sin. That is not biblical. We (sinners) love to say we can live however we want and still claim salvation and claim to be a child of God. But according to scripture, if you live in sin, you are of the devil.

Scripture goes on to tell us that we will know who the children of God are through this same "litmus" test. There are many, even here on this forum, who will disagree with that. All I can say is, if they can "excuse" living in sin but say they have the Lord, well, they are indeed something the Word said that they couldn't be.

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2) Have some of you experienced former spouses who commited adultery and what became of them for this sin? What were their consequences? Aren't there always consequences for sin? Does God bless adulterous unions?

Been there, done that.. Got the T-shirt. She is still living the same way. And yes, there is always consequences. Outwardly it appears she hasn't paid any yet.. But who knows what she has going through her mind. I say of my ex-wife all the time that I do not know how she sleeps at night.. But when you are just immersed in sin, you get used to the lifestyle I guess.

And by the way, my ex also claims to be a Christian. But she has no fruit at all. None.





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Offline ForgivenDaughter

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NYP~

Why do you assume that just because someone has become a Christian they never sin again?  Or that they are never tempted again? Or that they are always capable of denying their flesh?

Why do you assume that the enemy doesn't have a mighty powerful arsenal of weapons to use? 

Why do you assume that walking away from God's grace is a difficult thing?  The enemy makes it mighty tempting.

We are human - we fall - we have to get back on the path - As long as you think that because we are Christians we are inherently perfect - you will fall too.


Offline Mac

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NYP~

Why do you assume that just because someone has become a Christian they never sin again?  Or that they are never tempted again? Or that they are always capable of denying their flesh?

He didn't post that. In fact he posted this:
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Now we all sin from time to time, but I'm not talking about the occasional sin. I'm talking about a long walk away from God's will and His word into a sinful lifestyle; in this case: ADULTERY! And then DIVORCING a spouse so that one can be with their co-adulterer.

You put way more into what he posted than was there. Way more.

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Why do you assume that the enemy doesn't have a mighty powerful arsenal of weapons to use?

He didn't even elude to that. But he did suggest that what Christ gives us, is stronger or should be than the temptation to LIVE in sin.

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Why do you assume that walking away from God's grace is a difficult thing?  The enemy makes it mighty tempting.

Because the bible says so? We, as Christians should be in spiritual agony when we are sinning.

And while the enemy does make sin tempting, God has given us a way out of ALL temptation. Again, according to the Word.

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We are human - we fall - we have to get back on the path - As long as you think that because we are Christians we are inherently perfect - you will fall too.

Again, he never even eluded to this. Not once.

Please do not be offended, but it seems as though this has touched a nerve or something with you. Maybe with some of your past choices? I do not know, but you assumed way to much into his post.

But as I answered his post, the bible says that the child of God CAN'T live in sin. The Word says that if you do, you're of the devil.. Harsh? Maybe... True? Absolutely.. Why? Because the Word says so.

Have a blessed day...

Offline ForgivenDaughter

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Mac~
Not offended and no it didn't really strike a nerve, and while he might not have specified those things...can you see how you can get there?

Even the title of his post "Can a True Chrisitan...."

While the Bible says that we should be in spiritual agony when we sin, that doesn't mean that it stops us from sinning....

What I 'read' into the post is what I have seen in a few other questions posted recently - looking for a justification for the poster to feel better than someone else (in this case a spouse) - "Look, I am a better Chrisitan because you did xyz." 

Quote
To me a true Christian is someone who is seriously bothered by ANY sin that they commit. A true Christian cannot continue to sin over and over and not be bothered by their sin. A true Christian hates his or her sin--and when they sin--they quickly confess it to Jesus have a change of heart and mind. They repent. Jesus said, "If you love me you'll obey me." I take that verse extremely seriously.

Now we all sin from time to time, but I'm not talking about the occasional sin. I'm talking about a long walk away from God's will and His word into a sinful lifestyle; in this case: ADULTERY! And then DIVORCING a spouse so that one can be with their co-adulterer.

He is making assumptions here.  He is assuming how someone else feels - just because she is in sin doesn't mean that he knows how she is feeling about it.  My sins tormented me for years - granted I wasn't saved yet - but God sure made certain that I wasn't comfortable in it.  So the OP doesn't know what is going on with her. 

As far as God is concerned the 'occasional sin' is just as distasteful to God as a 'long walk away.' There is no measuring stick.

Yes, these are the things the Bible says...does that mean that humanity lives it out perfectly the moment they become Chrisitan?  The only one I know of that has lived a perfect Christian life is Christ - no one before or since has been able to - so while, yes this is what the Bible says, this is not how we live.

I don't agree that I put in way more - I think he wants to know if he's a better Christian...cuz 'Christians' don't do that....and yet we see all the time that they do, they have, and they will continue to do so.

The moment you start believing that you aren't capable of 'falling' into a major sin because YOU are a CHRISITAN is the moment the enemy starts chipping away at your pedestal...


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Online Jaime

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The bible warns Christians that Satan is like a hungry lion prowling around seeking whom he might devour. If Christians can't be devoured, the Holy Spirit wasted some ink. I have seen true Christians faithful for decades become devoured by Satan. That is when they commit the sin of Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, and walk away from God. If not Godly sorrow leading to repentence would ensue.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2010, 11:10:36 AM by Jaime »

Offline Mac

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2010, 11:19:52 AM »
Mac~
Not offended and no it didn't really strike a nerve, and while he might not have specified those things...can you see how you can get there?

No, not really. I took it as a simple statement. Maybe he didn't explain it all clearly. But, I know where he is at and what he is feeling. I have been there.. Done that. It is a very hurtful and damaging blow when you are on the receiving end of these things.

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Even the title of his post "Can a True Chrisitan...."

I think his post, though, was more appropriately worded.. Can someone, who calls themselves a Christian, live in sin. Not just commit a sin.. But live in a constant state of sin.. There is a big difference. And the biblical answer to that is, no. According to 1 John 3. And others of course.. That scripture just comes to mind first.

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While the Bible says that we should be in spiritual agony when we sin, that doesn't mean that it stops us from sinning....

No, you're right. But again, there is a difference between sinning and living in sin. The whole idea of repentance is to repent of it and turn from it. How can one repent of the same sin everyday and there be no effort to change? It makes the whole process a joke really.

Quote
What I 'read' into the post is what I have seen in a few other questions posted recently - looking for a justification for the poster to feel better than someone else (in this case a spouse) - "Look, I am a better Chrisitan because you did xyz."  

I didn't see the other post. Well, maybe I did... But nothing sticks out.. But for one thing is for sure, people have a bad habit of "grading" sin. That is the wrong way to approach sin. Sin, is sin. A murderer is no more or less a sinner than a liar. Or someone who cheats on their taxes. Or the adulterer.. Drunkard, etc....

Quote
He is making assumptions here.  He is assuming how someone else feels - just because she is in sin doesn't mean that he knows how she is feeling about it.  My sins tormented me for years - granted I wasn't saved yet - but God sure made certain that I wasn't comfortable in it.  So the OP doesn't know what is going on with her.  

Some people are so immersed in their sin life that it doesn't bother them. The bible talks about this as well. The reprobate mind.

God will stop knocking.

Quote
As far as God is concerned the 'occasional sin' is just as distasteful to God as a 'long walk away.' There is no measuring stick.

I am going to have to disagree with you here. Yes, sin is sin.. But the Word says that it is impossible to live in sin and be of God. Never said we will not sin. But if we LIVE in sin, we are not a child of God.

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Yes, these are the things the Bible says...does that mean that humanity lives it out perfectly the moment they become Chrisitan?  The only one I know of that has lived a perfect Christian life is Christ - no one before or since has been able to - so while, yes this is what the Bible says, this is not how we live.

True. But we are to strive to be like Christ. Will we ever be without sin? One day, when we are in heaven. Can we achieve that here on earth? We are to strive towards it either way.

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I don't agree that I put in way more - I think he wants to know if he's a better Christian...cuz 'Christians' don't do that....and yet we see all the time that they do, they have, and they will continue to do so.

I think what he was saying is that, people like that have no "fruit". And without fruit, there is no Christian. I think that is more along the lines of what he tried to get across. What a man has perverted in Gods Word, doesn't change what it means. Men have told us that Christians can "live" in sin.. Because we are all sinners... The Word happens to disagree with that stance.

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The moment you start believing that you aren't capable of 'falling' into a major sin because YOU are a CHRISITAN is the moment the enemy starts chipping away at your pedestal...

True, but the moment people think that they are a Christian, even though they have no fruit and continue to live in sin, they are deceiving themselves. And the enemy will not even bother to "chip" away.. He has them where he wants them already. Believing a lie.

Offline ForgivenDaughter

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2010, 11:35:02 AM »
What you say is true Mac - I was approaching it from the 'those without sin cast the first stone'  or 'judge not least you be judged' view -

I don't like to attempt to judge someone else's walk with God based on their 'fruit' - because they appear to be living in sin by our standpoint - we do not know what battle is being waged within them - we do not know what God is teaching them - we do not know where they are in their walk....you judge them by their 'fruit' instead of praying, guiding, assisting, helping?

'you will know by their fruit'...what about your fruit?....how are you going to respond?  Are you going to give the grace and forgiveness that God would give?

(Please note: most of the 'you' terminology used in this post references the general 'you' not the specific 'you'.)

Offline Mac

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2010, 12:30:16 PM »
What you say is true Mac - I was approaching it from the 'those without sin cast the first stone'  or 'judge not least you be judged' view -

I don't like to attempt to judge someone else's walk with God based on their 'fruit' - because they appear to be living in sin by our standpoint - we do not know what battle is being waged within them - we do not know what God is teaching them - we do not know where they are in their walk....you judge them by their 'fruit' instead of praying, guiding, assisting, helping?

'you will know by their fruit'...what about your fruit?....how are you going to respond?  Are you going to give the grace and forgiveness that God would give?

(Please note: most of the 'you' terminology used in this post references the general 'you' not the specific 'you'.)

Understood.

See Matthew 7:15-23
15"Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.
16"You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?
17"So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.
18"A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.
19"Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
20"So then, you will know them by their fruits.
21"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.
22"Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?'
23"And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'

Galations 5
13For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
14For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."
15But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.
16But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.
17For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.
18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.
19Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions,
21envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
24Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.
26Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.

Offline HRoberson

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #13 on: March 01, 2010, 05:41:10 PM »
So then you believe that when the temptation of lust turns into the action of adultery and the adulterer divorces their spouse to be with the co-adulterer, God says, "Oh well, they're turning to me now (or at some point) so I'll overlook their sin and bless them?" Is that what you believe?

Aren't you forgetting that sins have consequences? And that God HATES divorce?

And I'm speaking of two people who are Christians. Not people who are unsaved. Btw, the co-adulterer is unsaved, so my soon-to-be-ex is eventually going to yoke herself to an unbeliever.
I'm saying that every sin is treated the same way by God. It matters not if you're a mass murderer. If you turn to God, you're in.

Are there consequences? Most times there are. Are they implemented by God? Maybe, maybe not. Is there a requirement that God exact punishment for every sin you commit after becoming a Christian? If not, why must He exact judgment against anyone else?

The best thing you can do is let go of the hurt, and move on.

Offline soultide

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Re: Can a True Christian Really Commit Adultery? What Are the Consequences?
« Reply #14 on: March 02, 2010, 04:19:01 AM »
I am living in a marriage that was based and built on adultery.  I was not saved he was back slid-en and yes we built our marriage on the sand not the ROCK.  Right now we are going through a major crisis from which I can only pray and trust God that we will survive.  Right now praying is trusting is all I have.  When we BOTH have turned to God and repented - God is now ripping down our marriage to the foundation and with his GRACE rebuilding it.  Are we reaping what we sowed - I believe we are - has God forgiven us - I believe He has - is our journey in this as pain free as those who built their marriages on solid ground absolutely not.  We are having to for the want of a better word PAY for our sins in this - but I do honestly belief that if we have truly repented - turned our hearts to Him and honestly with our hearts ask for forgiveness and a new a Godly marriage to come from all this He will be faithful to answer that prayer.