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Author Topic: Can the "Spell" be broken  (Read 3992 times)

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Offline soultide

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Can the "Spell" be broken
« on: Thu Feb 18, 2010 - 18:33:33 »
I know I have sooo many questions and concerns that I might be over "staying" my welcome.  But I do have a question that I am wondering about - and would like some input on.  My DH believes he is very much in love with someone else.  He only talks to her online at this point - but he does not think he can stop even talking to her - and that her not talking to him again scares him to death - he words not mine.  Even if he does decide to stay with me - will he ever be able to let her go.  I couldn't let her go 30 years ago which is why I am in the situation I am in.  Is in even possible to be the LOVE of his life (after God of course) or I am going to have to start NOW to get used that fact that I will always be second choice. 

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Can the "Spell" be broken
« on: Thu Feb 18, 2010 - 18:33:33 »

Offline BobsRib

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #1 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 12:07:44 »
I know what you are going though. It is like being destroyed on a daily basis while some people are expecting you to act like everything is normal. You need to find a true friend that you can call anytime of the day or night that will help keep you sane. Not to replace God's role as your rock, but to come along side you and provide the help that only another woman can.  God sent me a stranger that had been there and understood. We are still friends today. In fact, my husband told her that he really appreciated her being my best friend during his "crazy time". (his words now for his emotional affair)  All these questions you have are normal. Don't worry about it.  ::prayinghard::

Offline BobsRib

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #2 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 12:15:11 »
How did your husband and this OW part 30 years ago? Seems like someone was able to let go considering they haven't spoken in three decades!!! You can't recapture the past by destroying the present. Fight for your husband, he very well may thank you for it later. Mine did... and still does thank me for "keeping him from destroying everything he had". I am glad he feels this way but truly it wasn't my victory, it was, and is God's.

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #2 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 12:15:11 »

Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #3 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 12:26:28 »
The OW is someone that he had a "mad" crush in school - always loved her and she didn't see him aas anything more than a friend.  Now - she friended him on facebook and talks to him just about everyday.  She knows that this is causing big problems in the marriage - and still talks to him.  He has been carrying this for 30 years I guess.  Sometimes it's hard to see where he can let go.  But I am praying for our marriage - for my dh, and even for the OW.  And praying for Satan to be bound in our marriage and his life.  But sometimes I get discouraged and the fear and hurt threaten to choke me -

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #3 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 12:26:28 »

Offline ForgivenDaughter

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #4 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 12:30:33 »
Scrappy~
First don't worry about 'over-staying your welcome.' You are not a guest in our home, you are part of the family....we are here to help with what we can and to lend a listening ear when that's all the help we can provide....when you become obsessive we will lovingly tell you to knock it off <wink>.

When we are in the muck and mire of our sin we are so very heartless with those around us.  And we tend to be worse to those we love.  It is truly a difficult thing to be the recipient of that attitude.  

In addition to BRs suggestion of finding a female friend (or friends) to lean on during these times, do not forget to lean on God.  RayInFlorida has been suggesting to many of our brothers on the forum to find somewhere to safely yell, scream and holler at God - I think that might be helpful as well - I think he is right - it is perfectly ok to be angry and to want to vent and sometimes the best 'person' to vent to is God.  He understands and will not judge.

When my children were overwhelmed with feelings, I would sit with them on their beds and we would let out loud screams....of course my husband was home the first time and unaware we were going to do that (frankly I was too, at first) - poor guy came running to see what the problem was....any way - he got used to it and it became a very calm tool to release so much frustration and anger.  It helped them to get rid of all that stuff that was pent up in them.

As for thinking about yourself as second best - try not to - sometimes we are our own worse enemy.  Remember you are God's child - you are not second best to Him.  

As difficult as it is, try to extend grace to your husband.  He probably doesn't realize that he is in a battle with the enemy - I am not telling you that he is not responsible for his behavior - because he very much is - what I am saying is that while we are deep in the muck we are so very blinded from what we are really doing to those around us - while you continue to pray for the OW, and for your husband and your marriage, don't forget to pray for yourself and the strength and wisdom to make it through this difficult time.  Continue to reach out...


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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #4 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 12:30:33 »



Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #5 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 12:42:16 »
FD -

You know you are right about alot of the things - the biggest one being that my DH does not think that he is under an attack from the enemy - he calls it fate.  He is not TRYING to be cruel - I know that.  As a matter of fact he knows he is hurting me deeply and but can't stop because he is so deeply involved in this "affair.  I have up and down times - in the same day.  I have not made it through a day that I have not cried - but I am not crying quite as much.  I thank all of you for being here for me and praying for and with me.  The support means alot to me.  I do have supportive sisters - who are praying with and for me too.  It's hard sometimes though to not feel like I am a burden on them.  People - even Christian sometimes get the attitude - GET OVER IT ALREADY.  Until God tells me it's over, it's not.  Thanks for your understanding - and support.

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #5 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 12:42:16 »

Offline BobsRib

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #6 on: Fri Feb 19, 2010 - 17:16:15 »
Is the OW married? Sad part is she probably STILL sees him as only a friend.... or a diversion..... or a trip through memory lane ....or just enjoys the flattery. Not that you should tell him that. But it would be sad for him to give up all the love he has from you only to face the reality of her just playing online. Wouldn't be the first time it happened.... or the last.

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #7 on: Sat Feb 20, 2010 - 22:42:53 »
  First Jesus loves you, and your no ones left over vittles. Why is it his choice to stay with you or not? I would have kicked him and his computer out the door. How insulting for him to say, these things to you, for some used to be.  dear sister get a spine and some self worth. I do not mean to be harsh, this just makes me livid, that anyone thinks that they are just pieces of nothing, when Christ died for you. I would never play second fiddle to any woman, and neither should you.

Offline janine

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #8 on: Sun Feb 21, 2010 - 07:02:59 »
A person's brain chemistry reflects it, when s/he "falls in love", or becomes infatuated with another person.  I mean, there are physical, medically measurable things about it.

And it's quite a high.  It works on the same parts of your brain that many illegal drugs do -- and some legal ones.  It feels addictive, and maybe for some people it is addictive, or it becomes that way.

It's normal, natural, and human.  God made the process a part of us all, in varying degrees, so that we'd perpetuate the race, at least.  What makes it a problem is how we handle it.  What should happen is a beautiful cycle of attraction, then comraderie, then attraction, then warm friendship, then attraction -- being attracted to our own spouse, falling in love with our spouse, all the rest of our lives together.

Your hubby could drop that lady, stop talking to her, and the desire for his next "fix" would fade away, just as with quitting a drug (or cigarettes or whatever becomes your beloved crutch).

He needs to want to do that, though.  It doesn't help if you become his policeman, cutting off his contact.  He needs to do it himself.  And at least at this point it doesn't look like he will.

There's no one pointed single answer for you.  Everyone has brought up good points.  Pray, of course; and do not believe yourself to be second-choice material.  Do nothing hasty about leaving him or making him leave -- although it could possibly come to that, if he's ever going to understand what he's doing to your marriage.

I'm serious about that brain-chemistry thing.  Similar processes happen, with different hormones and other chemicals in our brains, when we as humans take care of our pets, or small children; when we are attracted to people we actually know and can be with, or to people we have no contact with at all, like the Facebook lady.  Similar processes go on when we use various drugs, or when we look at pornography, or when we are being with and loving on our own spouse.

The process, the chemicals produced in our own bodies, is an innocent, neutral thing.  God gave these bodies to us.  It's what we do with the process that can lead us into sin and/or into hurting our loved ones.

Yes, the "spell" can be broken, because nothing is impossible with God.  But, if He does not decide to intervene, it will still wear off eventually, if something allows a break in the brain-chemical-high cycle.  Like, if Hubby chooses to stop communicating with the lady.  Or, if she dumps him.  Or, if he actually tries to go to her and be with her, and he finds out that she has aged and changed as much as he has, and they cannot ever have that fairy-tale thing he remembers from high school.

You know, he likely didn't even have "it" back then -- he's remembering a time of little responsibility and good health and youth; he's remembering his "lost love" through rose-colored glasses.

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #8 on: Sun Feb 21, 2010 - 07:02:59 »

Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #9 on: Mon Feb 22, 2010 - 07:41:49 »
In answer to Lightshineon - I have a spine, but I also love my husband and see this for what it is - an attack.  Also he did not get to a place where he "needed" someone to talk to all by himself - for 6 years he TRIED to make that person me - and I did not respond.  I have a share in this - this is not only one person "fault".  Should he have resisted - sure, is he at fault too absolutely, but this is not a cut and dry case.  I have prayed on this long and hard- hourly just about since it I discovered the problem - and I believe that praying for him and believe it or not HER along with our marriage and sticking in there and letting God work in our hearts and our lives is what He is calling me to do.  If you think that is the cowards way - let me tell to stand my ground in the gap - and pray for people who are ripping my insides out is NOT EASY.  But I have to be obedient, that does not make me spineless - it's makes me stronger in the Lord.   On a PRAISE note - I have spend most of the last 5 days praying for our marriage but even more importantly against the attack I know this - Satan took a situation and used it for his advantage.  We had a weekend filled with SLOW healing AND to my knowledge he has not talked to her for five days now - AND he made the decision himself.  He also made a few statements that show me that God IS working in his heart.  So Praise be to GOD. 

Offline ForgivenDaughter

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #10 on: Mon Feb 22, 2010 - 11:40:40 »
Amen Scrappy - I am glad to hear that there has been some visible response to your prayers - stay the course - the enemy doesn't like to lose.


Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #11 on: Mon Feb 22, 2010 - 12:30:38 »
Please continue to pray for this situation - I don't want to let my guard down and let Satan get a stronghold in my "laziness".  I know that just because he has not talked to her in 5 days that doesn't me he is DONE with her.  He has not promised me he won't talk to her and he has not told me that his feelings for her have changed.  I have not been policing him - I not ever brought her up - nor am I looking over his shoulder etc.  Not that I don't WANT to but I know it will only make it MORE exciting, if you know what I mean.  So this is only the START of a long journey.  This is not an easy experience - but I am learning so so much!  About my husband, about me and even more importantly about God.  I have my down moments - the times that I feel like I should give up and that why would he want to stay with me anyway moments.  I think that is probably normal.  But I know that I am a daughter of the Most High - and I know he hears me - even when it's just a tiny answer to a prayer - or a sense of peace that he gives me.  I do believe you are right about the "chemical" reaction in the brain, and I believe that he got attacked right it the place that would cause the strongest chemical reaction - fate - doubt it!  Please keep us in your prayers - for my husband to turn his "chemicals" in my direction and for my strength to love unconditionally and the strength to keep up this fight.

Offline Mere Nick

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #12 on: Mon Feb 22, 2010 - 13:18:21 »
You're to be commended for not taking a rolling pin and laying him out as cold as a block of ice.  Hang in there.

Offline BobsRib

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #13 on: Mon Feb 22, 2010 - 16:25:50 »
Make sure to maintain an active sex life during this time. Not to trick him or anythung stupid, but because sex is one of God's natural bonders. And you both need to feel the connection right now.

Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #14 on: Mon Feb 22, 2010 - 20:04:15 »
BR -

I have been making suer he is not lacking in that here at home. 

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #15 on: Mon Feb 22, 2010 - 20:24:07 »
 Hi, I did not mean to offend, I am stating what I would do, but we are different people. I love the Lord, trust the Lord. The Lord does give boundaries in marriage. I could not stand it, or stand for it. I just do not get why It is his choice? I call it plain old sin in what he is doing.

Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #16 on: Tue Feb 23, 2010 - 05:24:18 »
Light -

It is easy to say what one would do in a situation until you are there.  A year ago I like you said something very similar - I would never put up with that - I would be gone, or he would yada yada.  Well when it happened, you may look at it differently.  This is an attack - my husband had a very hard and abusive childhood with all kinds of trauma that I will not go into here.  It is not as clear and simple as we like to make it.  Is it sin - YUP 100%, is it totally his choice - no.  He is under attack #1 and he still has "demons" from long ago he is fighting.  The Lord just this last October realized him from a BIG one - and right after that this developed - fate?  Just "life" - I don't think so.  Satan wants us bond and if we get out of one - he will try and bind us in another.  Each day I see him struggling with what he knows is right and what his flesh tells him to do.  I know he is fighting - but I also know he is confused.  I know he is hurting.  It is my "job" as his wife to stand in the gap for him now, EVEN if in the end he does not stay with me.  Jesus didn't say pray for people, love people for what you are gonna get in the end.  Is it easy?  Of course not - why do you think I am on this forum pouring my heart out all the time.  You see it has just a choice he made - I see it as that certainly but also as a battle for his very soul right now and I can not just walk away or throw him out.  The time may come when that happens, it may come when he choices death over life, or her over me.  But right now i have to do what the Lord is telling me to do.  Try not to judge what YOU would or would not do until you are my shoes, feel my pain and carry my load.

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #17 on: Tue Feb 23, 2010 - 15:06:15 »
Light -

It is easy to say what one would do in a situation until you are there.  A year ago I like you said something very similar - I would never put up with that - I would be gone, or he would yada yada.  Well when it happened, you may look at it differently.  This is an attack - my husband had a very hard and abusive childhood with all kinds of trauma that I will not go into here.  It is not as clear and simple as we like to make it.  Is it sin - YUP 100%, is it totally his choice - no.  He is under attack #1 and he still has "demons" from long ago he is fighting.  The Lord just this last October realized him from a BIG one - and right after that this developed - fate?  Just "life" - I don't think so.  Satan wants us bond and if we get out of one - he will try and bind us in another.  Each day I see him struggling with what he knows is right and what his flesh tells him to do.  I know he is fighting - but I also know he is confused.  I know he is hurting.  It is my "job" as his wife to stand in the gap for him now, EVEN if in the end he does not stay with me.  Jesus didn't say pray for people, love people for what you are gonna get in the end.  Is it easy?  Of course not - why do you think I am on this forum pouring my heart out all the time.  You see it has just a choice he made - I see it as that certainly but also as a battle for his very soul right now and I can not just walk away or throw him out.  The time may come when that happens, it may come when he choices death over life, or her over me.  But right now i have to do what the Lord is telling me to do.  Try not to judge what YOU would or would not do until you are my shoes, feel my pain and carry my load.



 Scrap you are right, no one knows what they would do in a given situation. Please do not be offended at me, because dearly you are more long suffering than I am. I just for not see how enabling a person to sin, by supporting them is good. Jesus tells us not to support adultery. I think, my opinion only, is this, for the spell to be broken, your husband must be broken. It is about you, but, not first and foremost ( assuming he is a believer) he is grieving the HolySpirit. It is an insult to God, when people are unfaithful to their mates. Hebrews 13:10, says this God will punish all those unfaithful in marriage. It does not say discipline by Jesus, but God the father will punish. Now, in past years there was an issue in my marriage, not like this, but another. I let it slide, many times, until the last time about six years ago. and God let me have an all out, nothing with my husband. God was displeased with me for letting it slide. I know about demons too, a long story, but even if a person is oppressed, they can overcome through the full armor of God, and the blood of Jesus. The Bible states, there is no temptation common to man, that God himself will not make a way for escape from. See I just used the sword and the Spirit from the full armor of God, as you know is the word of God. Like I said you do have a good point, but, so do I. I am  not ignorant to the schemes of the devil anymore either. Now, This is your life, and your marriage you are much more longsuffering than I maybe, but I really do know that I would not enable this type of behavior. It is sin in the camp, and aginst God and you, and your children if you have any.

Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #18 on: Tue Feb 23, 2010 - 15:17:32 »
He is a grown man - and he has free will I am not encouraging him in this.  He knows what I think about it AND he knows the Word.  He is broken and very confused and very lost right now and is indeed fighting demons right now.  What is he doing is wrong not doubt - but he IS broken I don't' need to do anything for that it's already happened.  He has free will, and God is calling him - if he doesn't answer that is between him and the Lord- but I feel right now I have to deal with him as I would if he were an unbeliever.  The bible says I am to not provoke him, not to leave him but to show him the ways of the Lord through my actions.  Which I am doing.  I have prayed on this long and hard and almost continually - and I believe this is what the Lord is wanting me to do and until I feel he tells me not to - then here I am.  However to say it is easy or that I my heart doesn't feel like it torn into pieces is not true - I hurt ALL THE TIME.  I guess we need to agree to disagree on this one - but if you would please pray for his restoration to our Abba Father and for healing for him - me and our marriage I would greatly appreciate it.

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #19 on: Tue Feb 23, 2010 - 17:01:17 »
He is a grown man - and he has free will I am not encouraging him in this.  He knows what I think about it AND he knows the Word.  He is broken and very confused and very lost right now and is indeed fighting demons right now.  What is he doing is wrong not doubt - but he IS broken I don't' need to do anything for that it's already happened.  He has free will, and God is calling him - if he doesn't answer that is between him and the Lord- but I feel right now I have to deal with him as I would if he were an unbeliever.  The bible says I am to not provoke him, not to leave him but to show him the ways of the Lord through my actions.  Which I am doing.  I have prayed on this long and hard and almost continually - and I believe this is what the Lord is wanting me to do and until I feel he tells me not to - then here I am.  However to say it is easy or that I my heart doesn't feel like it torn into pieces is not true - I hurt ALL THE TIME.  I guess we need to agree to disagree on this one - but if you would please pray for his restoration to our Abba Father and for healing for him - me and our marriage I would greatly appreciate it.



 Yes sister, I will pray sister, look in the end, you are right you must listen to the Holy Spirit, and every instance is different. God bless you.

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #20 on: Tue Feb 23, 2010 - 21:28:01 »
Make sure to maintain an active sex life during this time. Not to trick him or anythung stupid, but because sex is one of God's natural bonders. And you both need to feel the connection right now.

 OK, Sharp, and I  agreed to disagree, but speaking for myself, that door would be locked so tight, that twelve locksmiths, and an axe could not open it.

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #21 on: Wed Feb 24, 2010 - 11:46:06 »
 You know, I actually prayed for you during my run on the treadmill last night, I run miles on it, and God put you on my heart, and well i did.  hope your husband really appreciates you, because he has one longsuffering woman. actually a Jewel of a woman, that, he will not find among other women.

Offline BobsRib

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #22 on: Wed Feb 24, 2010 - 14:44:06 »
Yes lightshineon, that is exactly what my husband says about me. He appreciates what it took to love him through his emotional affair. It was what God impressed upon my heart to do. It was not in a million years how I believed I would react. He is lucky to be alive!!!! And he can thank God(seriously) for that.

Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #23 on: Thu Feb 25, 2010 - 06:22:57 »
Light -

Thank you for the prayers!  I can use all I can get - we are under a major attack and I know it.  I also know that I am fighting my flesh right now too, cause as you say my "natural" reaction would be to really HURT him - lol and then go find HER and hurt her maybe even more.  But this is not about my flesh right now and I ahve to keep telling myself that.  LOL, so believe me I understand your thought process - I have it myself.  But part of what all this is about is learning to be obediant to the Lord even when it's not easy, fun or painless.  It is a struggle I promise you!  javascript:replaceText('%20::frustrated::',%20document.forms.postmodify.message)  Please keep praying for me and for my DH - your prayers are heard and we need them deparately. 

BR -

I hate to even ask this question but how long did you fight your battle before your DH saw the light?  I know this has only been 4 months but it seems like years!


Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #24 on: Fri Feb 26, 2010 - 11:53:37 »
 Hi scrap it was six years ago, and it was not an emotional affair, but internet porn. I usually just got mad for a minute or a day, because God, let me find out everytime. Then the last time, I caught it, something rose up inside me, I was angry, really, really, angry. I laid down the law, and he had to have accountability to me. I meant what I said, and it scared him. Kirk Franklin's wife was he same way so was Steven Curtis Chapmans wife, It ended that day, was he tempted yes, but, has not went back to it. I hate exposing him, he is frogiven, but, by me he had to earn my trust. I was reading an older book called Addicted to Adultrey, I will have to find it. It was a woman in a similar situation as you, except the husband physically cheated, He was police chief of Chicago, many years back. I will try and find it, but he was addicted to his mustress. They overcame, have a foundation. helping other people.
                                Loves, light

Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #25 on: Fri Feb 26, 2010 - 12:08:34 »
Light -

I appreciate your sharing that with me.  And I appreciate your council.  However, to the best of my knowledge - neither your husband or any of the people you mentioned - have had the background, childhood, or emotional abuse that my DH has had.  I don't think he has had a full day with emotional pain.  It's not just a "infidelity" although it most certainly that, it's not just an addiction to a memory, although it is that too, but it's a cry for help, a cry to the Lord and his DW.  I can not and will not leave him in this time of his need.  Do I hurt oh yeah big time - I am on the verge of tears most of time, my heart aches my soul yearns, but none of that is as important as doing what the Lord has asked me to do - which is the love my DH unconditionally right now, be there to show him the love of my heart and the love of Christ.  No matter how hard it is - right now I can not do any less.  It may be hard to understand - but the Lord has impressed on my heart that it's not that he WON'T stop - right now he CAN'T.  It is not my DH that tells me, the Lord did, and I can't argue with that.  So until the Lord tells me different this is what I HAVE to do.  There may come a time when He releases me to move on - but I believe I am going through all this for a reason - and in His time not my own.  I do appreciate your advise - and I ask that you pray for me and my DH as we are in the battle of our lives - not just to save our marriage but to save his very soul.

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #26 on: Fri Feb 26, 2010 - 18:29:30 »
 Oh honey, I do pray for you, and do not judge your reasons, I may not understand, but then again maybe it is not for me to. The book I mentioned is somewhat similar to your story, and there are other stories. These people overcame, and are still together. I feel so sorry for your pain, and quite honestly, since it is beyond my personal understanding, angry at your husband, and the other woman. Please forgive me for that, because it is a window, I cannot see through. I grew up with more emotional pain, than many, unimaginable. pain .Everyone thinks I am " The Princess", but the again some secrets I will take to the grave. I am whole though, because with Jesus Christ,  he healed my soul. That is what I do not understand how Jesus would say your husband can't quit, because Nothing is impossible with God. Then again, no commendation on my part either sister of you, or your husband. I do not even try and pretend I understand everything. I will continue in prayer, tonight as I run my treadmill,. LOL, When I get very tired it helps me to keep praying, and pondering on God's wisdom. I am wondering how long you can bear the pain. I was reading in Ephesians today, about the great mystery, and how a man is to love his wife, as Christ does the church, and gave himself for her.  Like I said the best thing for me is not to judge, but to just pray for you, and your husband. Please get on Amazon.com and find the book, it is from the eighties, and I found it at moms house.  Some of the same issues come up like emotional affairs and such.  Another question do you find the weekends harder? How about your husband does he find them harder? The thing I kind of received from God is emotional affairs, are emotional abuse. That would be very, very, hard to take. It seems like you take husbands pain on yourself, (that is what I just felt in my spirit,) but test all things. Remember I will pray for complete restoration, nothing is impossible with God. Please understand, that I am praying for Jesus to take your husbands pain, because it is to big for your little shoulders.

                                      Love LSO

   

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #27 on: Sun Feb 28, 2010 - 17:42:19 »
 Hi, are you doing OK? I am praying things are better for you.

Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #28 on: Tue Mar 02, 2010 - 05:27:33 »
Hey Light -

I am hanging in there - this weekend things seemed very much better - and then last night we took a step back.  So all in all - it is "okay" and I am hanging in there.  This is all taking a toll on me.  Yesterday at work I was told that I have to "get over it" and focus.  Well they didn't way it like that exactly but I was told that if I didn't focus and make less mistakes I would lose my job.  I have been there 13 years and never had anything close to being fired.  So that is scary.  I have to admit that it is hard to focus on anything right now.  But God is with me - I cry out and I believe he hears me and holds me.  As painful as this is - I believe that we (both my husband and myself are paying for (sowing) what we reaped at the beginning of out marriage and God is having to tear us down to the foundation so He can build it on the rock this time not sand.  My prayer is still that we will not be restored but rebuilt in the image of the marriage that God wants for us.  That said - I am hurting and most days is a struggle to not fall into despair, but I am hanging in there.  Thanks for your prayers - please don't stop!  Thanks for caring - believe it or not that means alot more to me than you know!

Offline BobsRib

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #29 on: Tue Mar 02, 2010 - 13:55:31 »
Soultide, I do know what you are going though. I didn't loose my job, but I did decide to go back to a lower paying job with less responsibilities.I had waited over ten years to get the opportunity to move up to this position, but I couldn't handle it while I was falling apart every day. Most of the people thought I was physically sick and cut me some slack. They thought I was weak from a stomach virus. Made since because sometimes I would just feel like I had been hit in the stomach. I would bend over and have a hard time standing.
It was worth ever second of the misery. Now I have victory knowing God worked miracles with us. I think God knows just how much we can take. And how much it is going to take to accomplish the task. And He stands in the gap. I will continue to pray for you and your husband.

Offline soultide

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #30 on: Tue Mar 02, 2010 - 14:06:06 »
BR -

Thank you!  You don't know how much you bless me with your words and prayers.  I understand what you mean - I feel alot of times like I have been kicked in the stomach - and not only does my stomach hurt but I can't breathe.  Something times it is almost too overwhleming.  I am hanging in there - praying and crying out to God.  I am trying to be strong in front of my DH - and let him know that I love him and am here for him - even that is hard when he is doing things that he knows must hurt me deeply.  But I am hanging in and praying that God will continue to strengthen me AND heal my DH wounds and bring his heart and his love back to me and to our Lord.  Bless you for standing in the gap for us! 

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Can the "Spell" be broken
« Reply #31 on: Tue Mar 02, 2010 - 20:50:26 »
Hey Light -

I am hanging in there - this weekend things seemed very much better - and then last night we took a step back.  So all in all - it is "okay" and I am hanging in there.  This is all taking a toll on me.  Yesterday at work I was told that I have to "get over it" and focus.  Well they didn't way it like that exactly but I was told that if I didn't focus and make less mistakes I would lose my job.  I have been there 13 years and never had anything close to being fired.  So that is scary.  I have to admit that it is hard to focus on anything right now.  But God is with me - I cry out and I believe he hears me and holds me.  As painful as this is - I believe that we (both my husband and myself are paying for (sowing) what we reaped at the beginning of out marriage and God is having to tear us down to the foundation so He can build it on the rock this time not sand.  My prayer is still that we will not be restored but rebuilt in the image of the marriage that God wants for us.  That said - I am hurting and most days is a struggle to not fall into despair, but I am hanging in there.  Thanks for your prayers - please don't stop!  Thanks for caring - believe it or not that means alot more to me than you know!



 Remember someone in Oklahoma is praying for you. I will pray about your job too. Do you think you could take a leave of absence? Have you thought about taking a small vacation by yourself, and go to an isolated place to talk to God, just leave it behind for a couple of days of solitude? Your mind is tired, and I bet you are not even eating. I hope you can take a few days off, as your mind is on overload.
                           In Christ, your sister Rhonda

 

     
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