I know you posted this awhile ago. I tried to send you a private message, but wasn't able to because your message box is filled. I was wondering how things were going in your marriage? Did you confess everything to your wife? My husband did a similar thing to me and won't confess. It has been driving me crazy, because I have reason to believe things went too far at the strip club, but he won't admit to it. Did you decide to tell your wife everything that happened? Also, what exactly happened during the lap dance? You described too much touching, however you didn't specify how far the touching went? You said it was a private dance. Does this mean alone in a room with the dancer?
I think it is always better to confess to your spouse and come clean. It will renew your marriage and you can heal. Building a marriage on deception isn't good. It will destroy your marriage. My husband won't admit what happened at a strip club and it has taken an emotional toll on our marriage and my mental health. I have developed depression, because he refuses to come clean. He wants to rug sweep what happened and continue to go on with our life. I can't do this, because knowing that he chooses to lie to me hurts me more than actually doing the deed. I believe that marriage should be built on honesty. Lying to your spouse destroys the spiritual vow in the marriage. It allows the devil to come into a marriage and taint it. Honesty is the way to go, even if it hurts your wife. I would want to know the truth. To me, it is a betrayal of the heart. It is a form of cheating in my eyes. I should be allowed to know all the facts so I can make a decision on how to handle this situation. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgiveness only comes when someone confesses and repents his sins. Rug sweeping what happened makes things worse.