Friends of the opposite sex

[Tianna]

As Christians, is it wrong to be married and have friends of the opposite sex?

[Mac]

If it requires that you are alone with them, then in my opinion, yes.

That may seem "out there" to some, but I can tell you one thing.. The only way to avoid a tempting situation is not to get into it in the first place.

I have seen, and known, MANY people who have strayed because of this type of relationship. Just really not a good idea.

[chosenone]

If it requires that you are alone with them, then in my opinion, yes.

That may seem "out there" to some, but I can tell you one thing.. The only way to avoid a tempting situation is not to get into it in the first place.

I have seen, and known, MANY people who have strayed because of this type of relationship. Just really not a good idea.

 Same here mac. I have also seen SO many divorces due to one spouse getting too close to another person of the opposite sex, I have several just in my family and my husbands family. It just IS NOT worth the risk. besides that I have absolutely NO desire to have a male friend unless he is also my husbands friend, and cant understand why others want to, but that is just my opinion.
Why open the door to temptation?

 ALSO I heard recently that many affairs happen between the opposite sex partners of couples who are close friends, so I feel we also need to be aware of not spending time alone with the wife/husband of a friend without their spouse being there.

 I do think we are very naive to think that "it will never happen to us" as countless  people have probably said the same thing and guess what, it did happen to them.  A man on another forum that I go to said that he regularly goes out to coffee and lunch with other women and his wife is apparently ok with it. I think that is bizarre actually, as to me that is like a 'date'.

[UtahDad]

This is a huge red flag when I am finding out about a girl that I want to date, if she is one that likes to just hang out with guy 'friends' and isn't willing to set boundaries when she starts to get serious I wouldn't even consider dating her.  I have been the guy 'friend' too many times when I wasn't really where I should have been with the Lord and I know exactly what can happen.  

As I have said in previous posts, I have run into quite a few 'christian' girls that say there is absolutely nothing wrong with them being off with their guy 'friends', alone and even staying the night at their homes while the girl is involved with a serious relationship.  Then they wonder why they can only find real losers that want to date them, then the guy she is dating can be off with his girl 'friends' while she is off with the guys.  It just makes no sense to me.

[armywifenmom]

I was on another christian forum where everytime this topic came up a ''christian'' woman would always chime in and just blow me away. Had she just said she doesn't have a problem w/ opposite sex friends, I wouldn't have thought anything else. However she'd go on to say how she went out on dinner and lunch dates (innocent) with her co-workers, and one time even had to share a hotel room while traveling on business. Oh and her hubby didn't seem to have a problem w/ these encounters


IMHOP, there is no reason why a married should be spending anytime ALONE with the opposite sex, unless they are trapped in an elevator, or they are taking care of an elderly.....like 80 yrs old.

[haveahope]

You are all spot on!  The Bible warns us not to join in even the "appearance of evil".  Again, it's about boundaries and "guard your heart for out of it are the issues of life" - I always warn people what these 'issues' could be - divorce, heart break, whether you live on welfare, whether you find yourself in an abusive relationship, etc.....
 These are issues we will deal with if our heart is not properly 'guarded' as it should be.  God's boundaries are always for our good, not because He wants to limit our 'fun' or relationships, but because He is all wise and knows the human heart far better than we know ourselves.

 HAH

[yesult]

I think that once you marry your friends automatically become friends of both of you or not at all if they're the opposite gender. If your husband or wife feels threatened (reasonably) by someone then I don't think it's wise to keep seeing them.

To keep your opposite sex buddies is pushing it in my opinion unless your partner is completly fine with it all because they can trust you enough not to do something thoughtless.

However I think you can innocently go over the line or lead them over if you arn't careful too. So it's something to be wary of in my opinion.

If I really felt I could trust my husband then I don't think I'd care who he hang out with. But if I started feeling threatened or uncomfortable about any of his friendships then I would expect him to take that into consideration and put the lid on it or tone it right down. (And vice versa.)

Jealousy can be a nasty thing to have to deal with in a relationship and can restrict healthy friendships, but being careless of disrespectful of your partners feelings can do damage as well. I think balance and trust are the factors that everything needs to come back to.

[larry2]

1 Thessalonians 5:22  Abstain from all appearance of evil.

[JohnDB]

I have many friends of the opposite sex...and I am married.

The intimacy level of those that are of the opposite sex isn't the same kind of intimacy that I have with my wife though...it is a completely other thing altogether.

Most of my female friends are no where near the same age as myself either...usually ten to fifteen years difference...any that are anywhere reasonably close to my age are usually kept at arms length...for good reason. Many of my female friends are also married...and really married. Some are single. But there is never any impropriety nor is any desired or worried over. The things we discuss are always above board and cannot be misconstrued as romantic...

Only someone with a really twisted biscuit would take anything that we discuss as something romantic.

[walker starr]

      In my first marriage I thought I owned my wife and she thought she owned me .  Neither of us was confident enough to trust
      each other out of sight in company with the opposite sex.  In both of my future marriages I did know better.  Both of my wives
      had enough self confidence to know not to worry about me going astray with some other woman.  They knew I would
     never pick up a greasy hamburger out when I had chateau briand waiting at home.  I thanks be to Jesus had wisdom
    enough to feel the same way about them.  My second two marriages were much happier  than the first one and I think
     mostly for this change in attitude.  If a spouse of either sex is going to stray it will happen no matter how strict the rules.
    It depends not on the rules but on the spouses.  If you love him or her let your spouse go.  If your spouse comes back you
    really have a loving spouse and not a prisoner.  GOD Bless.

[chosenone]

I really dont know why people needs friends of the oppostie sex, unless they are friends of both spouses. Neither of has any desire to see or go out with a member of the oppostie sex without our spouse,even if we thought it was appropriate (which we dont). I have many good female friends, we have couples who we are friends with, we have five young adult children between us, and most imporant of all we have each other and we are each others very best friend. Why on earth would I need to go out with, or spend time with, a man who isnt my husband?
It is nothing to do with trust or thinking that we 'own' each other in any way.
 

[Charles Sloan]

If the wife is looking to maintain extra-martial relationships with male friends, I wonder how comfortable she would be extending the same liberty to her husband.

Often I find what is good for the goose is not good for the gander.

[BondServant]

I really dont know why people needs friends of the oppostie sex, unless they are friends of both spouses. Neither of has any desire to see or go out with a member of the oppostie sex without our spouse,even if we thought it was appropriate (which we dont). I have many good female friends, we have couples who we are friends with, we have five young adult children between us, and most imporant of all we have each other and we are each others very best friend. Why on earth would I need to go out with, or spend time with, a man who isnt my husband?
It is nothing to do with trust or thinking that we 'own' each other in any way.

Have you ever worked?  I have, a lot.  I have made male and female friends where I worked.

In answer to the OP, not it is not wrong to have friends of the opposite sex.

That being said, anyone needs to be careful, lest you be tempted, or, like brother larry said, give the appearance of evil.

In Christ,
KP

[chosenone]

I really dont know why people needs friends of the oppostie sex, unless they are friends of both spouses. Neither of has any desire to see or go out with a member of the oppostie sex without our spouse,even if we thought it was appropriate (which we dont). I have many good female friends, we have couples who we are friends with, we have five young adult children between us, and most imporant of all we have each other and we are each others very best friend. Why on earth would I need to go out with, or spend time with, a man who isnt my husband?
It is nothing to do with trust or thinking that we 'own' each other in any way.

Have you ever worked?  I have, a lot.  I have made male and female friends where I worked.

In answer to the OP, not it is not wrong to have friends of the opposite sex.

That being said, anyone needs to be careful, lest you be tempted, or, like brother larry said, give the appearance of evil.

In Christ,
KP

 

Yes I have worked and yes my husband works but relationships at work are kept on a  work level where politeness and friendlines are there but the focus is on work and they are colleagues rather then what I call friends.
We both have friends of the same sex but all of our opposite sex friendsips are those that are between both of us, as we are friends with other couples.

[BondServant]

What do you call "friends?"