Grabing and groping, how often?

[phoebe]

That's what you want to hear as you seek excuses for more and more and more


Come again....

It's about the talk on the thread, not about your personal life.  I'm not a voyeur.  I don't have a window into your world, only your words.  And that's what I hear you saying, as much in attitude of word choices as actual words themselves.

[dallasapple]

That's what you want to hear as you seek excuses for more and more and more


Come again....

It's about the talk on the thread, not about your personal life.  I'm not a voyeur.  I don't have a window into your world, only your words.  And that's what I hear you saying, as much in attitude of word choices as actual words themselves.

I understand Phoebe..

They can say things such as "more as better" and stop scratchign around for "reasons" to find in the Bible how its good to NOT think that more is better and on and on..

The "chip on my shoulder" and how sorry for my poor deprived husband and then they say HEY Im not talking about MY life.

Well then dont make blanket statements.

At least I had the nerve to express how it can be DETRIMENTAL to marriage (in my case) to have someone treat you like a sex object.And Im not the only one.And my huysband "learned"(the poor thing PRAY for him how SAD it is) that I dont watn to be groped and grabbed everytime Im in his prescence and have to stand there and engage in FOREPLAY and call it "frisky".

I dont need the "pitty" either..Its the ignorance that maddens me.The ignorance and the focus on "the more the better" that is a lie.And the "you are depriving the other" if you dont LIKE it that you dont want to know EVERY time you encounter your husband you are going to have to have your body groped.(and hugged and squeezed)..But GROPED.

You breed and feed into obsession of sex when you run around saying things like "the more the better".

And I am not the only one.

Love

Dallas

[Mac]

That's what you want to hear as you seek excuses for more and more and more


Come again....

It's about the talk on the thread, not about your personal life.  I'm not a voyeur.  I don't have a window into your world, only your words.  And that's what I hear you saying, as much in attitude of word choices as actual words themselves.

I understand Phoebe..

They can say things such as "more as better" and stop scratchign around for "reasons" to find in the Bible how its good to NOT think that more is better and on and on..

The "chip on my shoulder" and how sorry for my poor deprived husband and then they say HEY Im not talking about MY life.

Well then dont make blanket statements.

At least I had the nerve to express how it can be DETRIMENTAL to marriage (in my case) to have someone treat you like a sex object.And Im not the only one.And my huysband "learned"(the poor thing PRAY for him how SAD it is) that I dont watn to be groped and grabbed everytime Im in his prescence and have to stand there and engage in FOREPLAY and call it "frisky".

I dont need the "pitty" either..Its the ignorance that maddens me.The ignorance and the focus on "the more the better" that is a lie.And the "you are depriving the other" if you dont LIKE it that you dont want to know EVERY time you encounter your husband you are going to have to have your body groped.(and hugged and squeezed)..But GROPED.

You breed and feed into obsession of sex when you run around saying things like "the more the better".

And I am not the only one.

Love

Dallas

Has your husband always been this way?

[BAH-BLAH]

That's what you want to hear as you seek excuses for more and more and more


Come again....

It's about the talk on the thread, not about your personal life.  I'm not a voyeur.  I don't have a window into your world, only your words.  And that's what I hear you saying, as much in attitude of word choices as actual words themselves.

1 thing......either you DIDNT speak about me or you DID.....above you say both.

I never said "more is better"...maybe someone did. I guess if its unsaid, seeing things is an equally destructive obsession

[dallasapple]

That's what you want to hear as you seek excuses for more and more and more


Come again....

It's about the talk on the thread, not about your personal life.  I'm not a voyeur.  I don't have a window into your world, only your words.  And that's what I hear you saying, as much in attitude of word choices as actual words themselves.

I understand Phoebe..

They can say things such as "more as better" and stop scratchign around for "reasons" to find in the Bible how its good to NOT think that more is better and on and on..

The "chip on my shoulder" and how sorry for my poor deprived husband and then they say HEY Im not talking about MY life.

Well then dont make blanket statements.

At least I had the nerve to express how it can be DETRIMENTAL to marriage (in my case) to have someone treat you like a sex object.And Im not the only one.And my huysband "learned"(the poor thing PRAY for him how SAD it is) that I dont watn to be groped and grabbed everytime Im in his prescence and have to stand there and engage in FOREPLAY and call it "frisky".

I dont need the "pitty" either..Its the ignorance that maddens me.The ignorance and the focus on "the more the better" that is a lie.And the "you are depriving the other" if you dont LIKE it that you dont want to know EVERY time you encounter your husband you are going to have to have your body groped.(and hugged and squeezed)..But GROPED.

You breed and feed into obsession of sex when you run around saying things like "the more the better".

And I am not the only one.

Love

Dallas

Has your husband always been this way?

Hey Mac,

Yes my husband had always been that way but it seemed it only got "worse" after we got married and just more of what seemed like an "obsseison" and lack of impulse control over the years.

Having said that he has "matured' and makes an effort to be mindful of my feelings than he used to be.

A lot of the times too he would say he was "only joking" and he still doesnt seem to understand all the way that some things just arent funny to the other person and in fact can be insulting or hurtful or even just aggitating.

I'll give an example of what he would consider funny.We had been intimate one afternoon.Our son who was 15 or 16 at the time was later talkign to me about our bloodlines.Our ancestory and I stated the obvious to him that of course you have German in you form Daddy I dont..and my husband said .."well you did about an hour ago" HA HA HA!!!!

Its the whole thing.Its the overwhelming focus on sex and sexuality and specifically mine and mine and his together.It was his high "need' for sex (he is an every day sometime twice guy) the grabbing and groping and even just hugging and touching in between (everyday) and the comments(every day)..And some of it crude..(IMHO).

He is better like I said ..but even today I was talking to our son about a "horror" movie and he blurted out.."you shouldn't talk about prostitutes that way...HA HHA HA HA...(my son who is 13 got the joke)..

Because apparently when I said "horror" he twisted that into a joke about "whores".

If I say Im "hot" he says "yeah you sure are".

Its not one thing.Its all of it.

He has even made it a point after I said something to tell me that he could have said something (sexual) in response but he 'held it back"..

Love

Dallas

[Mac]

Hey Mac,

Yes my husband had always been that way but it seemed it only got "worse" after we got married and just more of what seemed like an "obsseison" and lack of impulse control over the years.

Having said that he has "matured' and makes an effort to be mindful of my feelings than he used to be.

A lot of the times too he would say he was "only joking" and he still doesnt seem to understand all the way that some things just arent funny to the other person and in fact can be insulting or hurtful or even just aggitating.

I'll give an example of what he would consider funny.We had been intimate one afternoon.Our son who was 15 or 16 at the time was later talkign to me about our bloodlines.Our ancestory and I stated the obvious to him that of course you have German in you form Daddy I dont..and my husband said .."well you did about an hour ago" HA HA HA!!!!

Its the whole thing.Its the overwhelming focus on sex and sexuality and specifically mine and mine and his together.It was his high "need' for sex (he is an every day sometime twice guy) the grabbing and groping and even just hugging and touching in between (everyday) and the comments(every day)..And some of it crude..(IMHO).

He is better like I said ..but even today I was talking to our son about a "horror" movie and he blurted out.."you shouldn't talk about prostitutes that way...HA HHA HA HA...(my son who is 13 got the joke)..

Because apparently when I said "horror" he twisted that into a joke about "whores".

If I say Im "hot" he says "yeah you sure are".

Its not one thing.Its all of it.

He has even made it a point after I said something to tell me that he could have said something (sexual) in response but he 'held it back"..

Love

Dallas

So, he really hasn't changed that much. So I will assume that you two were compatible (sexually) for the most part when you married. Your "drive" is waning a little and his is still full throttle. Right?

That is a difficult situation. He is only expecting what he has been receiving for years. Hard habit to break. However, his crudeness and obsession is another thing. I will pray for both of you.

[dallasapple]

Hey Mac,

Yes my husband had always been that way but it seemed it only got "worse" after we got married and just more of what seemed like an "obsseison" and lack of impulse control over the years.

Having said that he has "matured' and makes an effort to be mindful of my feelings than he used to be.

A lot of the times too he would say he was "only joking" and he still doesnt seem to understand all the way that some things just arent funny to the other person and in fact can be insulting or hurtful or even just aggitating.

I'll give an example of what he would consider funny.We had been intimate one afternoon.Our son who was 15 or 16 at the time was later talkign to me about our bloodlines.Our ancestory and I stated the obvious to him that of course you have German in you form Daddy I dont..and my husband said .."well you did about an hour ago" HA HA HA!!!!

Its the whole thing.Its the overwhelming focus on sex and sexuality and specifically mine and mine and his together.It was his high "need' for sex (he is an every day sometime twice guy) the grabbing and groping and even just hugging and touching in between (everyday) and the comments(every day)..And some of it crude..(IMHO).

He is better like I said ..but even today I was talking to our son about a "horror" movie and he blurted out.."you shouldn't talk about prostitutes that way...HA HHA HA HA...(my son who is 13 got the joke)..

Because apparently when I said "horror" he twisted that into a joke about "whores".

If I say Im "hot" he says "yeah you sure are".

Its not one thing.Its all of it.

He has even made it a point after I said something to tell me that he could have said something (sexual) in response but he 'held it back"..

Love

Dallas

So, he really hasn't changed that much. So I will assume that you two were compatible (sexually) for the most part when you married. Your "drive" is waning a little and his is still full throttle. Right?

That is a difficult situation. He is only expecting what he has been receiving for years. Hard habit to break. However, his crudeness and obsession is another thing. I will pray for both of you.

No thats incorrect ....He did "change all that much".He "demanded" more and started being rude after we got married.

It doesnt matter..Im tired of talking about it.

Love

Dallas

[zoonance]

I've never been grabed but I understand Abu has.

[son of God]

Hey, gals: if you have a problem with hubby being like this, just get out the Bobit tool!  snip snip!   

[Mac]

Yes my husband had always been that way but it seemed it only got "worse" after we got married and just more of what seemed like an "obsseison" and lack of impulse control over the years.

Having said that he has "matured' and makes an effort to be mindful of my feelings than he used to be.

I was going by the statement above.

No thats incorrect ....He did "change all that much".He "demanded" more and started being rude after we got married.

It doesnt matter..Im tired of talking about it.

Love

Dallas

I am sorry. I didn't mean it the way it read. I wasn't saying he isn't out of line. I was simply saying that to him, he doesn't see what he does as anything new.

[BAH-BLAH]

Hey, gals: if you have a problem with hubby being like this, just get out the Bobit tool!  snip snip!   

This kind of humor, while yep...chuckles, is bad. Im not refering to its crudeness good grief Im worse than that, but it really isnt OK to talk that way about men, even on the topic of sex. Imagine a similar remark aimed at women.....then decide if this is a good joke.
Its not. Sorry to be blunt

[lightshineon]

 My thoughts, I have not read all the replies, so posting blindly. If you do not mind it, your marriage is good, then no big deal. If you hate it, and I sense some women even being physically sore from the groping, just talk to your husband kindly, ad do not bend down to pick anything up in front of him. If he does not stop, tell him more firmly, and if he does not stop then I would suggest counseling, because, anyone who just keeps on, after you ask them to quit, and if they are being rough with their groping, that is somewhat abusive ( sexually)Though if it be no big deal, it is not a big deal.

[JohnDB]

DallasApple,

Are you whining?

That is incredulous...your husband loves you and you regularly tell him his love is worthless...that is insensitive and mean and not submissive in the least respect. If he is hurting you or bruising you I could see a point of yours...but it doesn't appear that way at all...just you being aloof and distant from someone who wants to love you.

Men lose their sexual appetites as they age...but yours will grow stronger. One day the roles are going to be reversed and he is going to have a hard time finding any reason to help you out.

And part of your marriage vows were that you no longer belong to yourself but to him...your husband...who loves you. Stop denying him what is rightfully his. Enjoy it or leave him...but torturing him in this fashion is really cruel and belittling.

[His Princess]

I have no problem whatsoever with my husband grabbing, groping, touching, caressing, whatever it is he wants to do.  Now he's at work all day so we don't have "all day" to be together, except for his day off, of course.  I think it's pretty cool that he is so attracted to me and that I turn him on so much.  I see that as a good thing.

[dallasapple]

DallasApple,

Are you whining?

That is incredulous...your husband loves you and you regularly tell him his love is worthless...that is insensitive and mean and not submissive in the least respect. If he is hurting you or bruising you I could see a point of yours...but it doesn't appear that way at all...just you being aloof and distant from someone who wants to love you.

Men lose their sexual appetites as they age...but yours will grow stronger. One day the roles are going to be reversed and he is going to have a hard time finding any reason to help you out.

And part of your marriage vows were that you no longer belong to yourself but to him...your husband...who loves you. Stop denying him what is rightfully his. Enjoy it or leave him...but torturing him in this fashion is really cruel and belittling.

I dont CARE if a "man" loses" his sexual apppetite"..I didnt marry him to satisfy my "sexual; needs".I married him regardlless if he coud "perform " or not.

"His love" that he "regullaryly tells me " is limited to sexual encounters does NOT feel like love to me.Its insensitive and MEAN to treat me like a piece of meat .

He is NOT worthless to me.Im the one facing Im only worth a roll in the hay.

He doesnt WANT to "love me" he wants to get laid.

Trying to sweet talk someone to have sex with(who you treat like crap in between) you isint "love"

And no Im not "whining".

And you have the neve to tell me "my husband loves me" ..based on the fact he wants to have sex with me puts you in and MANY men in the same catergory as him.

LOTS of men love me.Believe it or not I can walk out today and find a man(easily) that will want to have sex with me.

YOu call THAT love?

Whatever..


Im happy for you that the foundoution for your marriage is sex and groping.Mine isnt.

Love

Dallas