Grabing and groping, how often?

[JohnDB]

DallasApple,

Are you whining?

That is incredulous...your husband loves you and you regularly tell him his love is worthless...that is insensitive and mean and not submissive in the least respect. If he is hurting you or bruising you I could see a point of yours...but it doesn't appear that way at all...just you being aloof and distant from someone who wants to love you.

Men lose their sexual appetites as they age...but yours will grow stronger. One day the roles are going to be reversed and he is going to have a hard time finding any reason to help you out.

And part of your marriage vows were that you no longer belong to yourself but to him...your husband...who loves you. Stop denying him what is rightfully his. Enjoy it or leave him...but torturing him in this fashion is really cruel and belittling.

I dont CARE if a "man" loses" his sexual apppetite"..I didnt marry him to satisfy my "sexual; needs".I married him regardlless if he coud "perform " or not.

"His love" that he "regullaryly tells me " is limited to sexual encounters does NOT feel like love to me.Its insensitive and MEAN to treat me like a piece of meat .

He is NOT worthless to me.Im the one facing Im only worth a roll in the hay.

He doesnt WANT to "love me" he wants to get laid.

Trying to sweet talk someone to have sex with(who you treat like crap in between) you isint "love"

And no Im not "whining".

And you have the neve to tell me "my husband loves me" ..based on the fact he wants to have sex with me puts you in and MANY men in the same catergory as him.

LOTS of men love me.Believe it or not I can walk out today and find a man(easily) that will want to have sex with me.

YOu call THAT love?

Whatever..


Im happy for you that the foundoution for your marriage is sex and groping.Mine isnt.

Love

Dallas

You married him...I didn't. I married my wife...who gropes me as much as I grope her. It is because my body doesn't belong to me...it belongs to her...and the same goes for her body..it is mine to do with as I see fit. But I love her...and that is marriage.

What you are doing to your poor husband is appalling...

So who did you lie to when you married him? God or your husband? Both perhaps...is the whole marriage all about you?

Go ahead and try single life...Men my and your age may have sex...if boxed into a corner to have it...but that doesn't neccesarily mean that we will...some of us are down right adamant about not having it unless we get reciprical treatment. Good luck being single...there are twice as many women out there single our age than Christian men...if the odds are that good. We Christian men are a real rare commodity out there and we ain't settling for "high maintenance women" who believe that the world revolves around their moods.

Marriage is all about giving...I really pity your poor husband...I wonder if he really knows that he can do so much better with someone that will appreciate him? There are lots of women that will....especially in his, your, and my age range. We ain't spring chickens...and sex isn't love...your husband knows this but touches you to express his intimacy with you...intimacy that is emotional and sincere...so much so that sharing your bodies with each other is only natural. And he does seem like a much better man than you are a woman...he gives even though you look at him with contempt...that says so much about his character and your lack of character.

I think your excuses of his treatment of you in between gropes is just that...an excuse and not reality at all...it simply doesn't happen for men our age. We can't be beligerant one minute and "horny" the next for a woman that we belittle the same as you belittle him...

he is my hero...not you today. His level of grace is much much higher than yours every day of the week. And when we get to heaven it will really show clear. There I think you will find yourself subserviant to him for the first time in your life...and considering God's sense of humor...probably so...and considering it will last all eternity...it is just gonna suck to be you.

[dallasapple]

DallasApple,

Are you whining?

That is incredulous...your husband loves you and you regularly tell him his love is worthless...that is insensitive and mean and not submissive in the least respect. If he is hurting you or bruising you I could see a point of yours...but it doesn't appear that way at all...just you being aloof and distant from someone who wants to love you.

Men lose their sexual appetites as they age...but yours will grow stronger. One day the roles are going to be reversed and he is going to have a hard time finding any reason to help you out.

And part of your marriage vows were that you no longer belong to yourself but to him...your husband...who loves you. Stop denying him what is rightfully his. Enjoy it or leave him...but torturing him in this fashion is really cruel and belittling.

I dont CARE if a "man" loses" his sexual apppetite"..I didnt marry him to satisfy my "sexual; needs".I married him regardlless if he coud "perform " or not.

"His love" that he "regullaryly tells me " is limited to sexual encounters does NOT feel like love to me.Its insensitive and MEAN to treat me like a piece of meat .

He is NOT worthless to me.Im the one facing Im only worth a roll in the hay.

He doesnt WANT to "love me" he wants to get laid.

Trying to sweet talk someone to have sex with(who you treat like crap in between) you isint "love"

And no Im not "whining".

And you have the neve to tell me "my husband loves me" ..based on the fact he wants to have sex with me puts you in and MANY men in the same catergory as him.

LOTS of men love me.Believe it or not I can walk out today and find a man(easily) that will want to have sex with me.

YOu call THAT love?

Whatever..


Im happy for you that the foundoution for your marriage is sex and groping.Mine isnt.

Love

Dallas

You married him...I didn't. I married my wife...who gropes me as much as I grope her. It is because my body doesn't belong to me...it belongs to her...and the same goes for her body..it is mine to do with as I see fit. But I love her...and that is marriage.

What you are doing to your poor husband is appalling...

So who did you lie to when you married him? God or your husband? Both perhaps...is the whole marriage all about you?

Go ahead and try single life...Men my and your age may have sex...if boxed into a corner to have it...but that doesn't neccesarily mean that we will...some of us are down right adamant about not having it unless we get reciprical treatment. Good luck being single...there are twice as many women out there single our age than Christian men...if the odds are that good. We Christian men are a real rare commodity out there and we ain't settling for "high maintenance women" who believe that the world revolves around their moods.

Marriage is all about giving...I really pity your poor husband...I wonder if he really knows that he can do so much better with someone that will appreciate him? There are lots of women that will....especially in his, your, and my age range. We ain't spring chickens...and sex isn't love...your husband knows this but touches you to express his intimacy with you...intimacy that is emotional and sincere...so much so that sharing your bodies with each other is only natural. And he does seem like a much better man than you are a woman...he gives even though you look at him with contempt...that says so much about his character and your lack of character.

I think your excuses of his treatment of you in between gropes is just that...an excuse and not reality at all...it simply doesn't happen for men our age. We can't be beligerant one minute and "horny" the next for a woman that we belittle the same as you belittle him...

he is my hero...not you today. His level of grace is much much higher than yours every day of the week. And when we get to heaven it will really show clear. There I think you will find yourself subserviant to him for the first time in your life...and considering God's sense of humor...probably so...and considering it will last all eternity...it is just gonna suck to be you.

You have really got some nerve.You dont even know the half of it and Im not divluging it to someone like you who has obviously concluded on what I have said so far went on was me being "appaling" and I dont appreciate my husband as well as he extends "more grace" than me.

Im flabergasted that you think you know that much about my husbands and mine relationship that started when I was 14 and he was 16 and have summed up that our going on 28 year relationship makes him a hero(to you) and me unappreciative and full of contempt.

I really cant even believe the staff around here would allow you to post such a scathing personal attack on me including accusing me of lying to either God or my husband or both.

Love

Dallas

[phoebe]

...

Aren't you divorced??   

[phoebe]

DallasApple,

Are you whining?

That is incredulous...your husband loves you and you regularly tell him his love is worthless...that is insensitive and mean and not submissive in the least respect. If he is hurting you or bruising you I could see a point of yours...but it doesn't appear that way at all...just you being aloof and distant from someone who wants to love you.

Men lose their sexual appetites as they age...but yours will grow stronger. One day the roles are going to be reversed and he is going to have a hard time finding any reason to help you out.

And part of your marriage vows were that you no longer belong to yourself but to him...your husband...who loves you. Stop denying him what is rightfully his. Enjoy it or leave him...but torturing him in this fashion is really cruel and belittling.

I dont CARE if a "man" loses" his sexual apppetite"..I didnt marry him to satisfy my "sexual; needs".I married him regardlless if he coud "perform " or not.

"His love" that he "regullaryly tells me " is limited to sexual encounters does NOT feel like love to me.Its insensitive and MEAN to treat me like a piece of meat .

He is NOT worthless to me.Im the one facing Im only worth a roll in the hay.

He doesnt WANT to "love me" he wants to get laid.

Trying to sweet talk someone to have sex with(who you treat like crap in between) you isint "love"

And no Im not "whining".

And you have the neve to tell me "my husband loves me" ..based on the fact he wants to have sex with me puts you in and MANY men in the same catergory as him.

LOTS of men love me.Believe it or not I can walk out today and find a man(easily) that will want to have sex with me.

YOu call THAT love?

Whatever..


Im happy for you that the foundoution for your marriage is sex and groping.Mine isnt.

Love

Dallas

You married him...I didn't. I married my wife...who gropes me as much as I grope her. It is because my body doesn't belong to me...it belongs to her...and the same goes for her body..it is mine to do with as I see fit. But I love her...and that is marriage.

What you are doing to your poor husband is appalling...

So who did you lie to when you married him? God or your husband? Both perhaps...is the whole marriage all about you?

Go ahead and try single life...Men my and your age may have sex...if boxed into a corner to have it...but that doesn't neccesarily mean that we will...some of us are down right adamant about not having it unless we get reciprical treatment. Good luck being single...there are twice as many women out there single our age than Christian men...if the odds are that good. We Christian men are a real rare commodity out there and we ain't settling for "high maintenance women" who believe that the world revolves around their moods.

Marriage is all about giving...I really pity your poor husband...I wonder if he really knows that he can do so much better with someone that will appreciate him? There are lots of women that will....especially in his, your, and my age range. We ain't spring chickens...and sex isn't love...your husband knows this but touches you to express his intimacy with you...intimacy that is emotional and sincere...so much so that sharing your bodies with each other is only natural. And he does seem like a much better man than you are a woman...he gives even though you look at him with contempt...that says so much about his character and your lack of character.

I think your excuses of his treatment of you in between gropes is just that...an excuse and not reality at all...it simply doesn't happen for men our age. We can't be beligerant one minute and "horny" the next for a woman that we belittle the same as you belittle him...

he is my hero...not you today. His level of grace is much much higher than yours every day of the week. And when we get to heaven it will really show clear. There I think you will find yourself subserviant to him for the first time in your life...and considering God's sense of humor...probably so...and considering it will last all eternity...it is just gonna suck to be you.

You have really got some nerve.You dont even know the half of it and Im not divluging it to someone like you who has obviously concluded on what I have said so far went on was me being "appaling" and I dont appreciate my husband as well as he extends "more grace" than me.

Im flabergasted that you think you know that much about my husbands and mine relationship that started when I was 14 and he was 16 and have summed up that our going on 28 year relationship makes him a hero(to you) and me unappreciative and full of contempt.

I really cant even believe the staff around here would allow you to post such a scathing personal attack on me including accusing me of lying to either God or my husband or both.

Love

Dallas

Dallas - all you have to do is report it.  There is a link on his post that says "Report to moderator".  If he offended you, use that link.

IMO, he crossed a line.

[chosenone]

I agree that your post was unnecessary and unkind John. You went too far.

[dallasapple]

Thank you laidies for your  support and advice .

I will chose not to report it.I think its better he and I maybe avoid each other if an understanding cant be had.

I was just really sort of blown away that he had  that kind of scathing opinion of me and somehow my husband on some sort of a pedestal above me in many ways including how even in heaven he will be favored and I will maybe be subservient for the "first time"..based on what I have revealed in my post ..

I dont know why he chose me but apparently he has some sort of ax to grind with someone and I must of triggered whatever it is inside him.

I will say to you John ..as well as basically everything you said to me..I do not appreciate you suggesting I go be "single" and how Im apparently(as well as your other remarks) "high matainence ..As well as my husband should "find someone who appreciates him.

You in a nut shell advised divorce ..and in a manner that I would find out how little there is out there for me in someone else and my husband would find someone out there that appreciates him..

Your whole "opinion" and your advice and your accusations were beyond rude.

You seem interested in some sort of revenge being played out on me even in heaven.I find that disturbing .

Love

Dallas

[chosenone]

Dallasapple
While I have stated my views on sex and marriage before(and you and i have had disagreements). I do feel (and did say) that your husband goes too far and needs to learn to control himself and what he does when, and what he says also. I can understand why you feel used and disrespected. I would feel the same.
 Its easier for me as I have such a kind and respectful husband who treats me so well that I want to have sex with and please him. He would never do what your husband does. Your husband does seem very immature and thoughtless.I hope that you can work things out between you. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

 As for what John said it was unpleasant and unkind and also totally wrong in him telling you to divorce him and see if you could find another man etc. It was also arrogant the way he spoke about how men can have their pick because there are more women, Very arrogant in my opinion.   I am sorry if you have been hurt by that post.

[JohnDB]

Dallas,

You now wish to claim "victim" status again with me?

Thats rich!

I am solely going by your words and what is more common than not in relationships today.

Guys are much more complex than women...women only appear to be more so because of the many things that they do. Guys limit their emotional outlets. Women do not.

So...I know that if you are posting about how your husband is rude one minute and then groping you the next...it is impossible for his brain to be wired in such a way unless he is completely mad...an obvious fallacy for your long standing relationship with him.

I do find it odd though that you haven't yet learned to understand him yet. HUMMMM...obviously you are preoccupied with your own feelings and thoughts way more than his.

And as far as advising divorce...you were the one who brought up the subject as if you were the most prized woman in the world...

And as far as me having an axe to grind...

ONlY against those who wish to regularly abuse the innocent...like your husband and you who regularly abuse his feelings toward you (by your own admission)

Your body isn't yours...it is his. So...either you are lying now or you have lied to God and him when you performed your wedding vows...I'll let you choose what you have done.

I am not here to judge...but when you state that you regularly rebuff his advances towards you which should be nothing short of miraculous love for you...that is mean and cruel. At our age group when the body really begins to show it's age and he still finds you attractive...that is miraculous love for you...one that he learned from God. It isn't hormones as you so calously ascribe to him. I ain't a wacko like you are trying desperately to make me out as being. You on the other hand can be considered suspect at the moment.

[dallasapple]

Dallasapple
While I have stated my views on sex and marriage before(and you and i have had disagreements). I do feel (and did say) that your husband goes too far and needs to learn to control himself and what he does when, and what he says also. I can understand why you feel used and disrespected. I would feel the same.
 Its easier for me as I have such a kind and respectful husband who treats me so well that I want to have sex with and please him. He would never do what your husband does. Your husband does seem very immature and thoughtless.I hope that you can work things out between you. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

 As for what John said it was unpleasant and unkind and also totally wrong in him telling you to divorce him and see if you could find another man etc. It was also arrogant the way he spoke about how men can have their pick because there are more women, Very arrogant in my opinion.   I am sorry if you have been hurt by that post.

Thank You Chosen One..

The weird thing is you and I dont even really disagree.I have always realized the importance of intimacy and sex in marriage.Actually in fact early on I didnt even give it that much thought.We just "did it" LOL!!!Adn I did it a lot when I wasn;t thinking of it.Thats why  I wasnt the initiater I never had a CHANCE!! LOL!!But in my situation and I'll say it again I know others it was blown up to a BIG deal by my husband and I was tortured over it.

Having said that as far as Johns remarks to me.Sure it hurt..But he doesnt know me or my heart..He doesnt know my husband or his heart.Im trying not to take it personal though because it seems I could have been anyone he would have said that to.Any woman that is.

As well as the fact his accusations and his opinions were not accurate.As well as his advice I know was wrong to give in the first place..and especially his reasonings that my husband apparently has a barrell of fish to shoot easy pickins) and I would be wondering alone in the desert searching aimlessly for some man I could be subservient to  and that would make me "lucky"....IOW it seems what I have to offer my husband there are 15 other women out there who woudl GLADLY offer him the same thing but yet BETTER..But I on the other hand would have to have cat fights and scratch and claw my way (through all the other desperate women)to find a man that would allow me to 'appreciate him".

I mean I know  "spring chicken" which I was referred to. as not being .But hey ..I never claimed to be a chicken in the first place.Let alnone a "spring one" let alone "clucking around " to try and scratch the surface trying to "find a man " .

But Im glad that middle aged divorced men..(who apparently dont exist in many numbers) have their choice of low maintenence appreciative women .

I wouldnt even KNOW about something like that because I am married...and have been for 21 years since I was 20.

I havent looked up the "ratio stats" on male to female middle age (non spring chicken)divorce..(sorry)

Love

Dallas

[Bocephus]

This topic is locked.  Things have gotten beyond personal.  Since it was not reported, no one saw this until it played out awhile.   It seems like there are too many posts since with quotes and what not to go out deleting posts and portions of posts.

If you feel I should remove portions of these posts, feel free to give me a PM.    I will not unlock this, however.