I'm an unmarried born-again guy in my 30's. My question is about how much to share with a future spouse about past sexual sins and how women see it.
I'm a virgin and not sinned in person with anyone. However, I used pornography a lot. Mostly it was BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism), specifically female domination and involved fantasies, accounts and footage of men being controlled, beaten, humiliated and degraded. From about the age of 7, I had submissive fantasies and this eventually led to online BDSM porn and webcamming. I had one occasion of webcamming with a girl where we both masturbated.
I was healed by God almost a year ago. In the time I have not masturbated at all (thought I still give it ashake and hope that will stop) and have not used any porn, apart from a 5 day relapse in June. God is taking layers away each time and I hope to stop thinking about sex and sleeping with specific women and lust in general.
I had online counselling about this.
I worry about how much to share and how this will be seen. In my mind, it is similar to being gay as people say once you are into kink, you cannot change. That it is wired into you. However, they are not believers and God can change anyone. I also believe that faith in God will not make this an issue and he will guide me. After all we all have sinned sexually (I can't imagine that no one has).
However, I am curious to hear opinions about this please. Thank you.