Author Topic: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?  (Read 2615 times)

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Offline BonnieBly

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How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« on: February 02, 2010, 08:07:53 PM »
I'm tired of fighting about the same things with my husband all the time.  Every time we get time together he just goes off about something.  I know sometimes he's trying to create distance, and he won't open up about anything anymore.  I've asked him to get us a counsellor but he says there's no way he's going to one.  I've prayed a long time about this.  Please someone tell me what to do with a hotheaded man???

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How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« on: February 02, 2010, 08:07:53 PM »

Offline HRoberson

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2010, 08:23:44 PM »
"if you will go to therapy with me, we can have sex when we get home."

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2010, 08:23:44 PM »

Offline BonnieBly

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2010, 08:41:13 PM »
Nope.  That's one of the main things we fight about.  I'm the one who wants sex, not him.

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2010, 08:41:13 PM »

Offline HRoberson

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2010, 10:13:37 PM »
OK...."if you go to therapy with me, I won't bug you about sex for six months."

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2010, 10:13:37 PM »

Offline BonnieBly

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2010, 07:10:07 AM »
LOL  I would say that, but that would be a lie.  That's not all we fight about though, but I don't want to say I won't talk to him about some things because they're important to me. 

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2010, 07:10:07 AM »



Offline SoloAlex

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2010, 08:35:13 AM »
Hello Bonnie, and welcome.
You've come to a great place to seek help.  Your situation sounds very familiar.
I'm sure there are times when you or him don't want to come home.
Be very sincere with him and choose a time when you both are in a good mood.
Be truthfull and let him know where your heart is at and that you still love him.
Over dinner or while watching TV or a movie try and bring up a time, maybe two that you remember when you were both madly in love with eachother, just thankful that you had eachother.
As far as his hotheadedness keep praying and I'm sure others here, including myself, will help in prayer that God will, and He will soften your husbands heart.

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2010, 08:35:13 AM »

Offline Ben

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2010, 10:25:00 AM »
IF he doesn't want sex with you that probably means he is getting it elsewhere, either cyber or in person.  Scares me.

Ben

Offline byGrace

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2010, 07:27:22 PM »
IF he doesn't want sex with you that probably means he is getting it elsewhere, either cyber or in person.  Scares me.

Ben

Yeah that is something I am worried about too.

Idk about getting your husband to go to therapy other than praying about it and also asking him when the timing is right. When that is, idk, but you will have to read your husbands body language if he doesn't talk to you much.

 

Offline Ray in Florida

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2010, 08:11:58 PM »
Dear Sister ...

I don't know that there's a lot that YOU can do that would make him want to go to counseling ... except for maybe one thing ... more on that in a moment.

What I would suggest is that YOU go ahead and go without him ... if for no other reason than to give you a resource and a place where your own fears, anxieties, frustrations and doubts can be aired ... and addressed. You need to find someone that you can talk with ... someone who can give wise, Christian counsel during this difficult time in your marriage ... another Christian woman that can act as your "accountability partner" ... someone who will act as your sounding board, mentor ... and spiritual adviser ... to keep you focused on the LORD ... and His Plans for you ... let Jesus be a more comforting presence in your life, to guide you, reassure you, nurture you through the present storms in your life ... give all of your pain and heartache to HIM ... He will not forsake you ... He will be your strength ... He will boost your spirits and strengthen your FAITH ... and HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN WORK IN YOUR HUSBAND and show him where he needs to be.

May you feel God's Presence and reassurance in your life immediately ... and through His presence, may your Husband come to see Jesus ...

Stay Strong in the Lord, Dear Sister
 ::prayinghard::

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #8 on: February 03, 2010, 08:11:58 PM »

Offline HRoberson

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2010, 08:50:21 PM »
IF he doesn't want sex with you that probably means he is getting it elsewhere, either cyber or in person.  Scares me.

Ben
Not if his libido is dead, or he has high blood pressure, or a host of other physical maladies. He may also be depressed which will sap one's sex drive, and he may simply not find his wife sexually arousing. People's sex drives can take a nose dive for any number of reasons. Disinterest in sex does not demand either adultery or porn use.

Offline Ben

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2010, 07:09:50 AM »
IF he doesn't want sex with you that probably means he is getting it elsewhere, either cyber or in person.  Scares me.

Ben
Not if his libido is dead, or he has high blood pressure, or a host of other physical maladies. He may also be depressed which will sap one's sex drive, and he may simply not find his wife sexually arousing. People's sex drives can take a nose dive for any number of reasons. Disinterest in sex does not demand either adultery or porn use.

Ok, sorry, I was writing about 95% of all males, not the the 5% you were writing about.

Ben

Offline HRoberson

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Re: How do you convince your spouse to go to marriage counselling?
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2010, 10:57:26 AM »
Problem is, we don't know her husband so it's a bit inappropriate to declare how he is satisfying a perceived drive.