Well, just try to see it through her perspective. Im not saying she did not cheat, but what IF she did not cheat?
YOU be her...let her be you in this scenario. How would YOU feel after being accused and IF you were innocent..and it just built and built and built up until she took an intimate personal item of yours to be tested, so that SHE could know for sure if she would stay married to you...only to have you saying, "I am innocent" all along, but never trusted? How would you feel if the test proved you to be in fact innocent like you've said all along, and she said "Ok, I will stay married to you now,"? Would you have any desire to be with someone who had zero faith in you, who was so paranoid, who was willing to go to such extreme lengths to make sure they weren't being mistreated or stepped out on...but, you were innocent?
YOU might feel better if the test comes back negative, but I don't think she will. I think it might just be the opposite...it would for me anyway.
Her actions have not aligned with her words, that's why I sent in that pair of underwear.
On the day she wore that underwear, I asked her that morning why she was wearing that underwear as it was a pair of thong underwear and she always hated wearing them except she would when I asked. She stated that she was wearing them for me so I asked if that meant I could have some sex when she got home from work.
She was very adamant stating that no, I could not have some. Well, I talked to her on her lunch break, her regular break and after work and asked each time that since she was wearing that underwear for me, if I could have some and each time she said no.
Well that night, she said I couldn't have any but I was welcome to look and pleasure myself. I took her up on it and she was very wet and looked like she had had sex, even though she had just been in the bathroom cleaning up down there. I even asked her if she had just had sex, she didn't reply and put her head down and left me to think about it on my own. I was really sad and didn't know what to do so I confiscated her underwear and put it in a safe place while I thought about what to do.
A couple of weeks passed and we were shopping for a birthday present for our granddaughter and we were discussing other things that had popped up, like her staying after work and drinking with coworkers, which she denied and wouldn't let me smell her breath.
Well, I brought up the topic of those underwear that she supposedly wore for me and told her that I had suspected she was having sex with someone else that day she claimed to wear those underwear for me and she got real quiet and gave me a weird stare down that seemed to last an eternity.
I went through a range of emotions from being excited that she is finally going to tell me the truth to being scared because she wouldn't say anything while staring me down. I told her to stop and asked what was wrong and she said nothing is wrong and proceeded to change the subject and that was that. Well this was the day that I thought, screw it, I'm sending those underwear in, she's acting so weird. So I did and didn't say anything until the results came back.
After the results came in, I sent her a really long text the following morning telling her what I had done and what the results were. She didn't bother commenting back or even talk to me about it until 18 hours later when I asked why she hadn't replied. She said, why should I, what do you want me to say. I was stunned and couldn't think of a reply and just let it go at that.
The next day we talked about it again and that's when she got upset with me because I told her I would tell everyone we knew that she had had an affair if the DNA tests showed another male. She was very upset so I apologized and said I wouldn't do the DNA test and things improved between us.