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Offline tennman

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How to Be a Better Wife
« on: December 09, 2009, 10:58:12 AM »
How to be a better wife.

This is an interactive list. For this one, please list only suggestions on how wives can be better wives. This thread is NOT for personally attacking your spouse. You may list specific issues that would help her and wives in general be a better wife but don't refer to your wife by name. There's also a thread on how to be a better husband.

So let's start helping wives be better wives.

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How to Be a Better Wife
« on: December 09, 2009, 10:58:12 AM »

Offline tennman

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2009, 08:59:36 PM »
Ok, I guess I'll start it to.

I think that a lot of wives I've noticed could be a better wife by returning compliments rather than just saying, "Thank you" all the time. Sometimes, "thank you" is fine, but guys like to be complimented on their looks too.

Next...

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2009, 08:59:36 PM »

Offline lightshineon

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2009, 09:02:56 PM »
 My husband said I could spend more time, with him and talk to him more, except during Carolina games. I wrote for him, hope it is OK.

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2009, 09:02:56 PM »

Offline Hot Ice

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2010, 03:41:04 PM »
Have no thoughts, dreams, fears, plans, etc. that are consistently more available/complete/honest when shared with others, than they are when (if) shared with the husband.

Have some traits that are uniquely male for which you praise the husband; praise those traits through the Word--directly (scripturally) or indirectly (contextually, or by implication through the scripture)


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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2010, 03:41:04 PM »

Offline Mere Nick

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2010, 03:48:13 PM »
How to be a better wife?

1.  Study my wife.
2.  Emulate.

More later.  I'm going to meet her at the church building for supper.

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2010, 03:48:13 PM »



Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2010, 03:53:23 PM »
How to be a better wife.

This is an interactive list. For this one, please list only suggestions on how wives can be better wives.

The first thing that comes to mind is...be a better husband.

Lists will only cause us to judge their actions; and...who are we to judge?

Love them as Christ loved His church...then give...give...give of yourself; a completely healed husband can heal a wife living with guilt and pain.  If a husband is not healed of sin and past hurts...he is of no value to his wife.

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2010, 03:53:23 PM »

Offline Hot Ice

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2010, 04:16:28 PM »
How to be a better wife.

This is an interactive list. For this one, please list only suggestions on how wives can be better wives.

The first thing that comes to mind is...be a better husband.

Lists will only cause us to judge their actions; and...who are we to judge?

Love them as Christ loved His church...then give...give...give of yourself; a completely healed husband can heal a wife living with guilt and pain.  If a husband is not healed of sin and past hurts...he is of no value to his wife.
There is nothing in scripture that supports this idea of "if you live this way, you will heal your wife", nor the idea of the iimplication hiden within that:  the idea that a wife who is looking to become a better wife is only doing so because she has wounds that need to be healed (by a husband), and only then will she be OK.

There is no list that "causes us" to judge another.  The Bible is full of things that we can put into lists, but makes it clear that our heart condition is that which makes us judgmental--if we're going to be!

Somebody who is Spirit-filled, who asks, "how can I be better for you?" Is saying "I want to be responsible to become more like Christ, in relation to you.  Give me some feedback on those things that would help me to do that, since I don't want to do this without your valuable feedback."  They then can listen for all things that don't cause them to step outside the Word of God, and go for it.  Those who would abuse that step of vulnerability should be confronted with that, and steps should be taken to readjust, should he/she refuse to STOP abusing it.

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2010, 04:25:58 PM »
How to be a better wife.

This is an interactive list. For this one, please list only suggestions on how wives can be better wives.

The first thing that comes to mind is...be a better husband.

Lists will only cause us to judge their actions; and...who are we to judge?

Love them as Christ loved His church...then give...give...give of yourself; a completely healed husband can heal a wife living with guilt and pain.  If a husband is not healed of sin and past hurts...he is of no value to his wife.
There is nothing in scripture that supports this idea of "if you live this way, you will heal your wife", nor the idea of the iimplication hiden within that: 

Love never fails...

Offline Hot Ice

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2010, 04:36:17 PM »
How to be a better wife.

This is an interactive list. For this one, please list only suggestions on how wives can be better wives.

The first thing that comes to mind is...be a better husband.

Lists will only cause us to judge their actions; and...who are we to judge?

Love them as Christ loved His church...then give...give...give of yourself; a completely healed husband can heal a wife living with guilt and pain.  If a husband is not healed of sin and past hurts...he is of no value to his wife.
There is nothing in scripture that supports this idea of "if you live this way, you will heal your wife", nor the idea of the iimplication hiden within that: 

Love never fails...
Amen!  Biblical love, applied God's way, for God's purposes, never fails to do what God promises it does!  No argument with that, brother.  It's only the additive, about wounds, and husband being the assigned healer, that I believe came from the world (since it's not in the Word); that's what I meant.

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2010, 04:36:17 PM »

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2010, 04:46:15 PM »
How to be a better wife.

This is an interactive list. For this one, please list only suggestions on how wives can be better wives.

The first thing that comes to mind is...be a better husband.

Lists will only cause us to judge their actions; and...who are we to judge?

Love them as Christ loved His church...then give...give...give of yourself; a completely healed husband can heal a wife living with guilt and pain.  If a husband is not healed of sin and past hurts...he is of no value to his wife.
There is nothing in scripture that supports this idea of "if you live this way, you will heal your wife", nor the idea of the iimplication hiden within that: 

Love never fails...
Amen!  Biblical love, applied God's way, for God's purposes, never fails to do what God promises it does!  No argument with that, brother.  It's only the additive, about wounds, and husband being the assigned healer, that I believe came from the world (since it's not in the Word); that's what I meant.

Ephesians 5:25-27...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, by holy and blameless.

When the husband is healed; he is fully able to love as Christ...his wife can be heal.  We are called to love...it is the most excellent way.

The world wants you to believe it is impossible...

Offline Hot Ice

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2010, 04:50:24 PM »
I saw what you meant about the husband imitating Christ's endeavor to wash the wife through the Word; I just don't see anything about wounds (???) or healing (???)

NO DENYING the power of the awesome Word, nor its rightful place; where is the talk in the scripture about wounds being at the heart of anything in the Christian's life?

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2010, 05:00:42 PM »
where is the talk in the scripture about wounds being at the heart of anything in the Christian's life?

Wounds are everywhere in a Christian life...divorce creates wounds, adultry creates wounds, incest creates wounds, porn creates wounds, any sin that hurts another will create wounds in the Christian life.  Until we are healed of our own wounds; and love is the great healer...we are of no value to our wife.

Offline Hot Ice

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2010, 05:42:24 PM »
where is the talk in the scripture about wounds being at the heart of anything in the Christian's life?

Wounds are everywhere in a Christian life...divorce creates wounds, adultry creates wounds, incest creates wounds, porn creates wounds, any sin that hurts another will create wounds in the Christian life.  Until we are healed of our own wounds; and love is the great healer...we are of no value to our wife.
I see what you mean; I've heard man's explanation of wounds.  I just don't accept holding the scriptures responsible for endorsing what man has said.  Even Isaiah 43 said we are already healed--and it was talking about the sin that had not yet been paid for.  It said that Jesus' death on the cross was the great healer, and that it is finished.

It is psychology that calls our ailments wounds, and says that we do what we do because of still being wounded.  The Word just never said that.  The Word said that we WERE wounded--but no more.  It talks about our being unclean, or not filled with the Spirit--but not wounded.

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2010, 06:04:59 PM »
It is psychology that calls our ailments wounds, and says that we do what we do because of still being wounded.  The Word just never said that.  The Word said that we WERE wounded--but no more.  It talks about our being unclean, or not filled with the Spirit--but not wounded.

If our past hurts affect us (we are wounded)...say; we are impatient...or quick to anger.  That would be the opposite of love.  Or maybe we harbor bitterness or un-forgiveness...again, that would be the opposite of love...we would need to be healed of our past wounds that cause these things. 

Through His Spirit (which is love) He can heal us of these wounds, and we can become whole though His love and become the most patient man/husband in the world, we will hold no records of wrongs, we become slow to anger and so on. 

If we are free from the wounds (through love) caused by others or caused by ourself...we can by grace then, free others from the same things.  Healed people heal others through love...hurt people hurt others because of their wounds...

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Re: How to Be a Better Wife
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2010, 06:52:49 PM »
One way a wife can be better is by not thinking that she has a rule or govern over her husband in the way that he does with her.