"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed
. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." (James 5:16)
If we are still sinning, I'd say this can mean we still have what makes us *open* to Satan so he can get to us and get us to sin. So, what makes us open could be wounds, or something like this that needs to be "healed". And we *both* have what makes us still able to give in to the devil. So, I'd say the man needs to confess to and pray for his lady, and the lady needs to confess to and pray for her man; he is her "head" (Ephesians 5:23) to lead her by being the example of this, while she is his helpmate to help him do better in this, including encouraging him by joining him in this mutual confessing and spiritual character healing prayer.
James 5:16, to me, means we all are ordained by God to have such power to have mutual confession and mutual healing prayer; God commands this; so God is committed to make this work, by means of His own love's power to get us "healed" of whatever in our *character* that still can give in to sinning. And this healing, "of course" (I would say), involves sanctification; the power of God's own love flows through us (Romans 5:5) as living, loving "water by the word" (Ephesians 5:26); this is in His Holy Spirit (John 7:37-39); this flowing of God's own love through us cleanses and *cures* us so we become like this love that is sin-incapable. Because the living waters of God's love has God's own almighty immunity against sin, making us more and more like we have in 1 John 4:17, "as He is, so are we in this world." (in 1 John 4:17)
So, with my wife, I would want her to expect me to be her example of confessing, and of humbly trusting God and her that she prays for me to do better. I trust her to love and care for all people as ourselves, and not to just make some big deal out of me like I am so more and greater than anyone else
After all, there are other Christians who are more mature than we are; so they are more like Jesus; so if we really appreciate Jesus, we will like these people more, because they are more like Jesus, than we are. And this humbling ourselves to appreciate more genuine people can keep us from dwelling on too much on each other with our overrating each other. Once we fool ourselves into overrating one another, then we can discover the real truth and be so much more disappointed and hurt, than if we had evaluated honestly, in the first place
Instead, we can be busier with positive confessing and prayer, and being more involved with our good examples, instead of just being so much about each other and our inferior pursuits of trying to gratify our own selves and struggling and fighting for this, and stressing.
So, I need to become her example of having "the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (in 1 Peter 3:4) Be first about being pleasing to God, instead of how I want her to please me. And see if she is getting this with me. Make sure this is the intimacy that we are getting into, of God's own love with so better than I have been seeking
But what about practical things I might want? Trust God about what she does for me; let Him and her enjoy surprising me. Don't be so dictatorial about how she has to be, and what she has to do: "be content with such things as you have" (in Hebrews 13:5). She will grow as a Christian; I need to be open to discovering who she will become, and what she will be doing, then
I keep finding how God surprises me with better than what I have been wanting; so why limit a Christian lady to what I can hope
"You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections." (2 Corinthians 6:12)