I come to you today a very broken and sad woman. A year ago I went out with a friend and came home to find all my husband's things gone and a long letter saying he is filing for divorce. Then two weeks after he left he got engaged to a woman he works with and to this day we are still married while he is planning his wedding. He is going to file for divorce in August due to state law of being legally separated for a year. We did have a lot of problems and I was trying to work on them but he cracked and decided to be with someone else. I would have done anything to save my marriage if I knew what he was planning to leave. I am still in shock that this all happened and knowing he is planning a wedding while still be married is too much to bear.
I went to a DivorceCare support group and it did help but I am still so sad and heartbroken. I do believe in the Lord Jesus and learned a lot more about him but I have not grasped the concept of "letting go" and "letting God". I live alone and just started working after many years and I will barely be able to support myself. He has been supporting me for a year and it will end soon. I have a condition that I can't walk for long periods time without being in great pain but the biggest pain I have is in my heart. I feel so lonely and it does not help that all my family and my best friend lives half hour away from me and no one comes out to see me I have to go out to see them. I feel that everyone wants me to "get" over it and then they will talk to me. How can you get "over" having a husband one minute and then him leaving and planning a life with someone else the next minute?
I know this is a long post and I did not even say all I wanted to. I have no one to talk to and want the pain to stop. Thank you for listening.
1. Find a Christian counselor (someone licensed, that knows the Christian faith).
2. Find a lawyer.
Having said that, remember that your value is not in being married, not in not being divorced, not in having done everything right. Your value is in you, simply because you are made in the image of God.
Separation from friends and family is often hard, but make sure that you aren't creating self-filfilling prophecies. If you are consistently down when around friends, they may well not feel comfortable around you. When you are around them, talk about them and their lives, not yours.
How many sessions of the DivorceCare group did you attend? It seems as though you need to continue in that group - or a similar one. Find one person that can understand your situation and use them as your confidant - and limit your discussion of your situation to regular times. This person may not be in the DivorceCare group. If it is one of your friends, you will want to spend more time talking about them and their lives than yours.
Get involved in the community. Volunteer, start a garden, take a class. Get out of the house and develop ways of dealing with stress and shifting your situation out from in front of your mind.
You are not going to stop your husband from doing what he is doing, so do some work on accepting that you cannot control him - but his actions do not reflect on you or your value. There are some things in life we cannot control, but we do not need to let them control us.