Author Topic: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me  (Read 37734 times)

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Offline Shalina

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How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« on: Sun May 06, 2007 - 18:04:03 »
Hello everyone,

I come to you today a very broken and sad woman.  A year ago I went out with a friend and came home to find all my husband's things gone and a long letter saying he is filing for divorce.  Then two weeks after he left he got engaged to a woman he works with and to this day we are still married while he is planning his wedding.  He is going to file for divorce in August due to state law of being legally separated for a year.  We did have a lot of problems and I was trying to work on them but he cracked and decided to be with someone else.  I would have done anything to save my marriage if I knew what he was planning to leave.  I am still in shock that this all happened and knowing he is planning a wedding while still be married is too much to bear. 

I went to a DivorceCare support group and it did help but I am still so sad and heartbroken.  I do believe in the Lord Jesus and learned a lot more about him but I have not grasped the concept of "letting go" and "letting God".  I live alone and just started working after many years and I will barely be able to support myself.  He has been supporting me for a year and it will end soon.  I have a condition that I can't walk for long periods time without being in great pain but the biggest pain I have is in my heart.  I feel so lonely and it does not help that all my family and my best friend lives half hour away from me and no one comes out to see me I have to go out to see them.  I feel that everyone wants me to "get" over it and then they will talk to me.  How can you get "over" having a husband one minute and then him leaving and planning a life with someone else the next minute? 

I know this is a long post and I did not even say all I wanted to.  I have no one to talk to and want the pain to stop.  Thank you for listening.

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How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« on: Sun May 06, 2007 - 18:04:03 »

Offline seekr

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #1 on: Sun May 06, 2007 - 19:23:48 »
How sad for you. This is why God hates divorce. It was the "putting away" and not taking care of the other person. With all your pain, still try to hold on and trust God when it all looks bleak. I know it is an easy thing to say and a much harder thing to do, but God can use this for good. It just takes so long sometimes to see even a small part of the big picture. I am praying for you.

seekr

Offline Petals

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #2 on: Sun May 06, 2007 - 20:59:59 »
Shalina,  I've been divorced, so I know how lonely and devastated you must feel.  When you're not feeling well physically, it makes matters even worse. 

Feel free to come here and "talk" if you have no where else to turn at the moment.  We can listen and offer support, but what you really need is to find a Pastor or someone in your area with whom you can share your feelings on a more personal level.  You need to sort things out and a counselor can help you work through the difficult circumstances you find yourself in right now. 

The road ahead for you may be a rocky one, but one thing I do know from experience is that the Lord is there with you.  It will take some time to heal your broken heart, but Jesus came to earth to bind up the brokenhearted, and He will do it for you.   Pour out your heart to Him, and He will help you.   Lean on Him, and He will not disappoint you.

I want to give you the same Bible verse that my daughter gave to me after my divorce.  It is found in Jeremiah 29:11.  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 

God has a plan for your life, Shalina, and even though you may not see it clearly now, it will unfold like a delicate flower and one day you'll see it's beauty. ::hug::

Blessings to you...
TrueBlue

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #2 on: Sun May 06, 2007 - 20:59:59 »

Offline Jaime

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #3 on: Sun May 06, 2007 - 21:00:31 »
I am praying for you Shalina.

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #3 on: Sun May 06, 2007 - 21:00:31 »

Offline Serenity432001

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #4 on: Sun May 06, 2007 - 21:12:23 »
Shalina,

 ::prayinghard::  I just echo what others have said.  Grasping the concept of letting go and letting God is never easy but He knows that and He is there for you sometimes long before we're ready to give Him our broken heart.  He can and will heal it and help you through the pain.  I know it might not seem like it now but with God all things are possible and there is life after divorce.    In my case, even better than I ever imagined.  I did have to have counseling to get through it and was very grateful for the help I received.  Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help.  Especially to God.  You will be in my daily prayers

Lisa P   

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #4 on: Sun May 06, 2007 - 21:12:23 »



Offline Shalina

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #5 on: Mon May 07, 2007 - 07:40:19 »
Thank you all for your support!  I keep wanting to either go back to when things were great with my husband or before I met him.  Or even the future when It does not hurt so bad.  When I started my job a few weeks ago and I was in orientation class there was this man in there I was attracted to.  He was nice in the class and I started to obsess about him.  I thank God I did nothing about it.  I found out later that he was hired to be a director of one of the departments right next to mine.  It made me realize just how wounded I really am.  I wanted to latch on real tight so I can forget about my husband.  I am so starving for love and affection and I know another man is not the answer but the Lord.  I just wish I could totally feel it in my heart.  I hate feeling this way.  Before I met my husband I was not looking for a man and did not have that desperate need to be with a man but now that has all changed.  I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up to it all being over so I can start a new life without pain.

Thank you all again for your support.  I knew this was the right forum to go to.

God bless!

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #5 on: Mon May 07, 2007 - 07:40:19 »

Offline zoonance

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #6 on: Mon May 07, 2007 - 08:15:09 »
My brother in law left my sister in a similar way a year ago and a 7 year old son besides.  It stinks.  What I would say to you today would not be what I would want to say to you a year or so from now.  It might not make any sense.  My sister is bitter and not much of a joy to be around.  Obviously, he isn't coming back, he married another woman, her dream is over. As her brother, all I really want to say is "get over it and move on" (with more flowery words I suspect)  If she doesn't she will be a sour, unattractive person.  That is what I would warn you about becoming.... if this was a year or so from now.

Offline James A. Wyly

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #7 on: Mon May 07, 2007 - 08:30:19 »
Hello Shalina,

Let me suggest two things:  if one is available to you, join a divorce support group.  It will give you someone to talk to and with whom you can ventilate.  Moreover, good ones (support groups) can offer suggestions of how to get on with your life.  But two footnotes: resolve that you will only be there for a limited time---say 6 months.  Further, under no circumstances become involved with anyone you meet in that group.  Understand you are emotionally very vulnerable and guard against it. 

My second suggestion is see a Doctor--a psychiatrist if one is available.  You sound depressed and, if you are, he can prescribe something that may help.

Jim W.

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #8 on: Mon May 07, 2007 - 09:26:14 »
I am hurting with you, Shalina.  My prayers of healing go out for you.

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #8 on: Mon May 07, 2007 - 09:26:14 »

Offline Petals

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #9 on: Mon May 07, 2007 - 09:51:29 »
Shalina,  Do you have children?  If so, what are their ages? 

My biggest regret is that during the time of my divorce, I could not see past my own pain to that of my children.  I was hurting so badly that I hardly considered that my children were suffering, too.  If you have children, they, too, should receive counseling to work through their pain.  Most of all, they need to know that they are not the cause of the break-up. 

Offline Shalina

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #10 on: Mon May 07, 2007 - 10:14:09 »
I have no children.  I did have a stepdaughter that I miss so much and she is so confused.  He does not want me to see her because of her confusion.  He introduced his new wife to be to her right after he left me and wonders why she is confused.  She is a 8 year old special needs child.  I miss her so much and I was in her life from age 1-7.  She lives with her mother mostly and her and I became friends along the way but she kept calling me and telling me everything my husband and his new love are doing and it had to stop.  I really want to move on and when I am out in the world I am not a bitter person and try to spread love around like Jesus wants us to.  It is just when I come home I let my true feelings out. 


HRoberson

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #11 on: Mon May 07, 2007 - 13:25:46 »
Hello everyone,

I come to you today a very broken and sad woman.  A year ago I went out with a friend and came home to find all my husband's things gone and a long letter saying he is filing for divorce.  Then two weeks after he left he got engaged to a woman he works with and to this day we are still married while he is planning his wedding.  He is going to file for divorce in August due to state law of being legally separated for a year.  We did have a lot of problems and I was trying to work on them but he cracked and decided to be with someone else.  I would have done anything to save my marriage if I knew what he was planning to leave.  I am still in shock that this all happened and knowing he is planning a wedding while still be married is too much to bear. 

I went to a DivorceCare support group and it did help but I am still so sad and heartbroken.  I do believe in the Lord Jesus and learned a lot more about him but I have not grasped the concept of "letting go" and "letting God".  I live alone and just started working after many years and I will barely be able to support myself.  He has been supporting me for a year and it will end soon.  I have a condition that I can't walk for long periods time without being in great pain but the biggest pain I have is in my heart.  I feel so lonely and it does not help that all my family and my best friend lives half hour away from me and no one comes out to see me I have to go out to see them.  I feel that everyone wants me to "get" over it and then they will talk to me.  How can you get "over" having a husband one minute and then him leaving and planning a life with someone else the next minute? 

I know this is a long post and I did not even say all I wanted to.  I have no one to talk to and want the pain to stop.  Thank you for listening.
1. Find a Christian counselor (someone licensed, that knows the Christian faith).
2. Find a lawyer.

Having said that, remember that your value is not in being married, not in not being divorced, not in having done everything right. Your value is in you, simply because you are made in the image of God.

Separation from friends and family is often hard, but make sure that you aren't creating self-filfilling prophecies. If you are consistently down when around friends, they may well not feel comfortable around you. When you are around them, talk about them and their lives, not yours.

How many sessions of the DivorceCare group did you attend? It seems as though you need to continue in that group - or a similar one. Find one person that can understand your situation and use them as your confidant - and limit your discussion of your situation to regular times. This person may not be in the DivorceCare group. If it is one of your friends, you will want to spend more time talking about them and their lives than yours.

Get involved in the community. Volunteer, start a garden, take a class. Get out of the house and develop ways of dealing with stress and shifting your situation out from in front of your mind.

You are not going to stop your husband from doing what he is doing, so do some work on accepting that you cannot control him - but his actions do not reflect on you or your value. There are some things in life we cannot control, but we do not need to let them control us.

Offline 4Christ

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #12 on: Sun May 13, 2007 - 11:31:24 »
Shalina,

I read your posts with tears in my eyes and heart because dear sister; I do understand what you feeling and how broken you are.  Only someone who has gone through such a thing can truly understand the devastation of it.

I am lifting you up in prayer before our Lord, asking Him to provide you with faith and direction regarding your marriage.  When we are in the midst of these situations, I don't feel that we can think things through objectively as we are too emotionally involved.

Are you and your husband both believers in the Lord Jesus Christ?  If not, your first step is to know that Jesus is waiting on you to give your life and everything in it to Him and allow Him to be your Lord and save you now and forever. 

Again, I am praying and look forward to being a support for you here in the forums.   Sis 4C

Offline lila

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #13 on: Mon May 14, 2007 - 12:39:35 »
Hello,
I will be praying for you so much.
God will be your Husband during this time.
Pray for a spiritual family that will comfort your broken heart.
Sometimes our own families let us down because they don't or won't understand.
God is our best friend.
I pray Gods will on your new Life .

Offline smikkelson

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #14 on: Mon May 14, 2007 - 19:08:53 »
I can relate, as my husband has recently moved out and refuses to return.  I have never felt so lonely...my family is about 14 hours away!  I just want you to know that I am praying for God to give you the strength to take this devistation day by day and to be able to edure the road ahead.   ::prayinghard::

ConnieLard

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #15 on: Tue May 15, 2007 - 18:35:54 »
Shalina,
 
Let me add my support to others who have suggested you do the following:

1.  Find a Divorce Recovery group and become involved.

2.  Get an appointment with a psychiatrist.  You need something for your depression.

3.  Get a good lawyer to represent you.

4.  Proceed on with your life.  It's not over!

I've been where you are.  Do not allow yourself to wallow in this too long.  Sure, it hurts, but life goes on.

Offline janine

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #16 on: Tue May 15, 2007 - 19:44:07 »
Good stuff so far.

No amount of "letting go and letting God" will make your pain zippy-quick go away.  I know, it's rotten, but some things cannot be fixed this side of Glory.

Have you looked into some sort of disability determination for your condition you mentioned?  Not to get out of working -- probably the last thing you need right now is to sit around on your bee-hind not doing anything.
 
But do look into it, because there may be all sorts of training programs and employer incentive programs for a woman re-entering the work force after years as a homemaker.  You could maybe get some decent pay while you work and get training for a degreed career of some kind, that would  allow you to work around your condition.

God bless you, sugar.

Offline zoonance

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #17 on: Thu May 17, 2007 - 17:38:05 »
It is OK to grieve and each one of us grieves differently.  I have decided to focus my "grief counseling" in terms of minimizing collateral damage (ie becoming a sour person, name calling/screaming/blaming the innocent bystanders, etc) rather than attempting to help/guide the person to "get over it" (or even "things will get better" "It won't always feel this way" "Ten years seems long enough!" or other attempts to cheer up a hurting person)  You have to grieve and you have to grieve in your own way and in your own time.  That is normal, expected and necessary.  It hurts.

Offline smikkelson

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #18 on: Wed May 23, 2007 - 22:38:28 »
I just wanted to recommend a couple of books that have been somewhat helpful in understanding the emotions I am currently facing since my husband left.  Maybe try them out for yourslef, and it may do some good.

1.  On Your Own Again  The down-to-earth guide to getting through a divorce or seperation and getting on with your life.  Aurthor:  Keith Anderson, M.D., with Roy MacSkimming.

2.  God Will Make a Way  What to do when you don't know what to do.  Aurhtor:  Dr. Henery Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

I am still praying for you!   ::angel::

shoshanarose

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #19 on: Thu May 24, 2007 - 15:59:05 »
(((Shalina))) I am so sorry for your pain... ::hug::I have been there...
I AGREE with Connie about the divorce recovery program. Even if, and God is able, to move in your and your h's hearts toward reconciliation, you will have learned valuable skills and heard God's heart for you and marriage overall... ::clappingoverhead:: I attended one and it was VERY helpful...

Don't give up; don't give in...
Just trust in God and you will win..
(just made that up...) ::amen!::

prayers and peace,
Shoshanarose

Offline juliamary

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #20 on: Thu Jan 08, 2009 - 11:59:51 »
 my husband left me we have were to gather for over 15year, but apart for 5months and it is killing me.

Offline chosenone

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #21 on: Thu Jan 08, 2009 - 12:54:54 »
Hello everyone,

I come to you today a very broken and sad woman.  A year ago I went out with a friend and came home to find all my husband's things gone and a long letter saying he is filing for divorce.  Then two weeks after he left he got engaged to a woman he works with and to this day we are still married while he is planning his wedding.  He is going to file for divorce in August due to state law of being legally separated for a year.  We did have a lot of problems and I was trying to work on them but he cracked and decided to be with someone else.  I would have done anything to save my marriage if I knew what he was planning to leave.  I am still in shock that this all happened and knowing he is planning a wedding while still be married is too much to bear. 

I went to a DivorceCare support group and it did help but I am still so sad and heartbroken.  I do believe in the Lord Jesus and learned a lot more about him but I have not grasped the concept of "letting go" and "letting God".  I live alone and just started working after many years and I will barely be able to support myself.  He has been supporting me for a year and it will end soon.  I have a condition that I can't walk for long periods time without being in great pain but the biggest pain I have is in my heart.  I feel so lonely and it does not help that all my family and my best friend lives half hour away from me and no one comes out to see me I have to go out to see them.  I feel that everyone wants me to "get" over it and then they will talk to me.  How can you get "over" having a husband one minute and then him leaving and planning a life with someone else the next minute? 

I know this is a long post and I did not even say all I wanted to.  I have no one to talk to and want the pain to stop.  Thank you for listening.

It takes a long time to get over something like that. My 23 year marriage ended very suddenly and very traumaticaly 9 years ago and the shock was immense.It took years for me to feel as if I was getting back to normal and 4 years ago I met my wonderful husband who has helped me immensley, as I am very happy now. I never thought that I would ever be happy again.

You WILL get through it, but it takes time. Dont be too hard on yourself and dont listen to those who think that you should be over it now. If you loose a spouse by death other people are sympathetic but loosing a spouse through divorce can be even worse as you have to cope with the  rejection as well. Also the 'corpse' is still walking around to open up all the old wounds. Also you have the divorce to go through.They reckon that it takes 3-5 years to recover from a divorce or bereavement, so one year isnt long at all.
One other thing, you are in a sort of limbo at the moment with not being really married but not being divorced, so when the divorce is over it may enable you to be able to  move forward better.

Just wondered, how can he ask someone to marry him and get engaged when he is already married??He got engaged after TWO WEEKS? I guess that they were having an affair before that.

Offline chosenone

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #22 on: Thu Jan 08, 2009 - 12:59:05 »
Thank you all for your support!  I keep wanting to either go back to when things were great with my husband or before I met him.  Or even the future when It does not hurt so bad.  When I started my job a few weeks ago and I was in orientation class there was this man in there I was attracted to.  He was nice in the class and I started to obsess about him.  I thank God I did nothing about it.  I found out later that he was hired to be a director of one of the departments right next to mine.  It made me realize just how wounded I really am.  I wanted to latch on real tight so I can forget about my husband.  I am so starving for love and affection and I know another man is not the answer but the Lord.  I just wish I could totally feel it in my heart.  I hate feeling this way.  Before I met my husband I was not looking for a man and did not have that desperate need to be with a man but now that has all changed.  I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up to it all being over so I can start a new life without pain.

Thank you all again for your support.  I knew this was the right forum to go to.

God bless!

Its totally understandable that you are desperate for love, especially becuase you have been rejected for another women, you want to know that you are still loveable (which of course you are). Its good though that you have recognised that the last thing that you need right now is another relationship. That may happen in the future, as it did with me, but not right now.

Offline Shalina

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #23 on: Fri Jan 09, 2009 - 11:51:16 »
Oh my it has been 1.5 years since I wrote this post I can't believe it.  I have been officially divorced since last May and two weeks after my divorce was final my ex husband married the woman he left me for and is very happy with her in another state.  I am 100% over him but I don't think I can ever get over the way he just left me one day.  Things have only gotten worse since then.  I has been 3 years now since he left.  I am grateful I have a job but I am barely making it.  I have a painful condition that prevents me from walking long periods of time from a serious car accident 10 years ago but it is bad especially in the winter and I can't shovel around my car in my parking space right outside my townhouse.  I have missed a lot of work this year because I can't find anyone to be able to shovel at the time I need to go to work. To make a long story short one of my donors at work called to make an appointment and I have talked to him many times and he asked where I have been.  I told him I was stuck in my townhouse because I can't shovel and he told me he could do it and he came over the next morning which was Christmas Eve.  He was attractive and I was so grateful he did it and he said he would come over and do it when it snows at least 4 inches.  Well it snowed a lot New Year's Eve and he never contacted me again. I did not get paid for New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.  But I figured out he came over because he wanted to meet me and when he did not like what he saw he did not want to come back.  Nice.  A rejection I did not even expect.    I have my name in several churches and have called every organization you can think of.  I don't need any suggestions because I am all out of them.

 I work a crazy schedule which includes every Sunday.  Besides all this I am alone 90% when I am not at work and being 45 it is not like I have a circle of single friends.I do have some friends but they are mostly married and busy and I understand.  It is very different when you are older and alone.  Most people have their own lives and families. Also men are not attracted to me at all (hence, the man who shoveled once for me)  It does not matter now nice, funny and being my genuine self is it just does not matter.  I keep praying saying I don't get it and why am I being punished for all aspects of my life.  I thought the Lord said it is not good for man to be alone.  I am alone most of the time outside of work and seeing my family which is 30 minutes away and I have to go out and see them no one comes out and sees me.  I can't force people to want to be my friend or come over.  I have asked coworkers if they want to get together but they all have their huge circle of friends and the ones that are single are younger and go out to bars which I am not into.  The ones my age are married and busy. 

I will not go on about this.  I am just too depressed to and angry and I keep saying I hate life.  What is there to like about it? 

Offline chosenone

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #24 on: Mon Jan 12, 2009 - 20:09:51 »
Oh my it has been 1.5 years since I wrote this post I can't believe it.  I have been officially divorced since last May and two weeks after my divorce was final my ex husband married the woman he left me for and is very happy with her in another state.  I am 100% over him but I don't think I can ever get over the way he just left me one day.  Things have only gotten worse since then.  I has been 3 years now since he left.  I am grateful I have a job but I am barely making it.  I have a painful condition that prevents me from walking long periods of time from a serious car accident 10 years ago but it is bad especially in the winter and I can't shovel around my car in my parking space right outside my townhouse.  I have missed a lot of work this year because I can't find anyone to be able to shovel at the time I need to go to work. To make a long story short one of my donors at work called to make an appointment and I have talked to him many times and he asked where I have been.  I told him I was stuck in my townhouse because I can't shovel and he told me he could do it and he came over the next morning which was Christmas Eve.  He was attractive and I was so grateful he did it and he said he would come over and do it when it snows at least 4 inches.  Well it snowed a lot New Year's Eve and he never contacted me again. I did not get paid for New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.  But I figured out he came over because he wanted to meet me and when he did not like what he saw he did not want to come back.  Nice.  A rejection I did not even expect.    I have my name in several churches and have called every organization you can think of.  I don't need any suggestions because I am all out of them.

 I work a crazy schedule which includes every Sunday.  Besides all this I am alone 90% when I am not at work and being 45 it is not like I have a circle of single friends.I do have some friends but they are mostly married and busy and I understand.  It is very different when you are older and alone.  Most people have their own lives and families. Also men are not attracted to me at all (hence, the man who shoveled once for me)  It does not matter now nice, funny and being my genuine self is it just does not matter.  I keep praying saying I don't get it and why am I being punished for all aspects of my life.  I thought the Lord said it is not good for man to be alone.  I am alone most of the time outside of work and seeing my family which is 30 minutes away and I have to go out and see them no one comes out and sees me.  I can't force people to want to be my friend or come over.  I have asked coworkers if they want to get together but they all have their huge circle of friends and the ones that are single are younger and go out to bars which I am not into.  The ones my age are married and busy. 

I will not go on about this.  I am just too depressed to and angry and I keep saying I hate life.  What is there to like about it? 

I am very sorry that you arent happy and that things arent going well for you. Have you ever thought of trying a Christian dating site? I was divorced at about your age and after about 4 years I met my husband on one of these sites. I was there for a while so it may not happen immediatly, but I did also make some girl friends there as they had their own forum site as well. I cannot receommed the ones I was on becuse I live in the UK but there are many such places in the uSA.
I know that it isnt easy but you sound as if you do need to forgive your husband becuase I have discovered that forgiveness is the key to healing. God will bless you abundantly if you forgive and let go. Unforgiveness only harms you and not your ex.
All it is is taking him off your hook and putting him on Gods hook. It is not saying that what he did doesnt matter, or that it didnt hurt you.
You would feel so much better and freer if you could do this. Ask God for help, He is willing and waiting for you to ask I am sure.

Offline elijah_101

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #25 on: Tue Jan 13, 2009 - 20:47:29 »
Shalina sorry for the Pain your going Through

I dont know how to tell you this..

If you go and marry another man...You commit adultery...

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

As Jesus says here

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication,

and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9


Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
Luke 16:18

As long as he is alive you cannot Remarry..Ro 7:1-2

Offline chosenone

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #26 on: Tue Jan 13, 2009 - 21:35:51 »
Shalina sorry for the Pain your going Through

I dont know how to tell you this..

If you go and marry another man...You commit adultery...

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matt 5:32

As Jesus says here

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication,

and shall marry another, committeth adultery:

and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matt 19:9


Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
Luke 16:18

As long as he is alive you cannot Remarry..Ro 7:1-2

You can believe elijah if you like but he is in a very very small minority of Christians who think that even if your spouse committs adultery you cannot remarry, even though jesus said that this isnt the case. Dont let him bring you down even more and take your hope away. God may well have someone very special for you,and he is on your side.  Just trust in Him and listen ONLY to the one who resotres to us ALL  that we have lost.
Bless you

Offline Shalina

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #27 on: Wed Jan 14, 2009 - 08:55:53 »
I do not believe the Lord would not want me to marry again unless he has other plans for me.  The morning of the day my husband (now ex) left he kissed me bye and said to have fun going out with my girlfriend.  I came home that night to all of his stuff gone with a letter saying he wants a divorce.  I had nothing to do with the decision of getting divorced.  HE cheated and HE left me for someone else.  HE is the one who wanted a divorce.  I really do not believe the Lord would be that cruel saying I can't remarry because I had no say in saving my marriage. 


Offline elijah_101

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #28 on: Wed Jan 14, 2009 - 09:02:28 »
Posted by Shalina ..I do not believe the Lord would not want me to marry again unless he has other plans for me.
____________________________________________ ________________________________

I do not know really know how to tell you this

This is a Hard thing

I'm sorry...

The word of God says...That as Long as your Husband is Alive you cannot Remarry Romans 7:2-3

If you do Remarry you commit adultery...

Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:   
_________________                        _____________________

and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
                                                    __________________________

and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Matt 5:32                                              ________________________
Matt 19:9



Offline chosenone

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #29 on: Wed Jan 14, 2009 - 09:34:32 »
I do not believe the Lord would not want me to marry again unless he has other plans for me.  The morning of the day my husband (now ex) left he kissed me bye and said to have fun going out with my girlfriend.  I came home that night to all of his stuff gone with a letter saying he wants a divorce.  I had nothing to do with the decision of getting divorced.  HE cheated and HE left me for someone else.  HE is the one who wanted a divorce.  I really do not believe the Lord would be that cruel saying I can't remarry because I had no say in saving my marriage. 



No the Lord does not hold you in any way accountable for the break up of your marriage and you are allowed to remarry. PLEASE dont take any notice of elijah, he spends ALL of his time here comdemning those who are Biblically and legally divorced and remarried saying that they are  sinners and are committing adultery even though that isnt what the bIble says(and he isnt even married beucase he cant find anyone 'good 'enough) he has his own agenda so ignore what he says. There have been many really good posts from others, sherman nobles is one,that you may like to read on other topics to do with marriage.. IGNORE him please and dont let him get you down otherwise he has won his  very strange mission.

Offline elijah_101

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #30 on: Wed Jan 14, 2009 - 09:51:28 »
Shalina

I know you are having a hard time...

Jesus will Help you get through this...If you Believe in Him

As Jesus said here

But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.
Matt 24:13

 Get your bible and look at these scriptures..Romans 7:2-3... 1 Corinthians 7:39..Matt 5:32  Matt 19:9 Luke 16:18

let God be true, but every man a liar....Romans 3:4

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
1 Peter 1:7

But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Rev 21:4

Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

« Last Edit: Wed Jan 14, 2009 - 10:14:19 by elijah_101 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #31 on: Wed Jan 14, 2009 - 14:45:52 »
Shalina

I know you are having a hard time...

Jesus will Help you get through this...If you Believe in Him

As Jesus said here

But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.
Matt 24:13

 Get your bible and look at these scriptures..Romans 7:2-3... 1 Corinthians 7:39..Matt 5:32  Matt 19:9 Luke 16:18

let God be true, but every man a liar....Romans 3:4

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
1 Peter 1:7

But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Rev 21:4

Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.



She does believe in Him already, and she is allowed to remarry if she meets someone else

Offline elijah_101

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #32 on: Wed Jan 14, 2009 - 18:57:04 »
Shalina

Just take a look at the Scriptures I sent you

Many are the afflictions of the righteous:

 but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.  He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken.

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
1 Peter 1:7


Rember endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

Lo, this is our God;

we have waited for him

and he will save us:

this is the LORD;

we have waited for him,

we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.
« Last Edit: Wed Jan 14, 2009 - 19:13:19 by elijah_101 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #33 on: Wed Jan 14, 2009 - 19:24:15 »
believe who you like shalina, but elijah only wants to condemn you by taking away your hope .All that he EVER does here on this forum is tell everyone that they are committing adultery unless they are married to the very first person that they ever had sex with (even if they were raped)  The best thing to do with him is ignore him, That is what I have learnt to do now, I dont read anything he says and I dont respond to him.

Offline Shalina

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Re: How to deal with the heartbreak of my husband leaving me
« Reply #34 on: Thu Jan 15, 2009 - 09:54:42 »
I believe I did nothing wrong and the Lord knows that.  HE is the one that committed fornication.  How can that be MY fault?  I have not dated 1 man since he left 3 years ago and we have been officially divorced 8 months.  I did not want the divorce at all.  I went to DivorceCare, a Christian support group for people that are or getting a divorce.  The common three words I heard were "I never thought".  In all the cases  where they were left by their spouse it was always because they wanted to be with someone else.  Through DivorceCare I realized it was the path he chose to take and there was nothing I could do about it except pray and heal throught the Lord.