Author Topic: How to deal with this  (Read 1047 times)

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Offline tryingishard

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How to deal with this
« on: Fri Jan 24, 2020 - 20:16:37 »
I really could use some guidance. My husband has had his fair share of health issues, most recent colon cancer, had surgery and is currently nearing the end of chemo. During all of this he has had 2 reoccurences of a nerve disorder he had once about 14 years ago. Needless to say he is getting angry about all of it, gets discouraged, says things like he's tired of all of it and seems depressed. He just constantly says he gets all the bad stuff (not his words) and he knows he's going to die from cancer and that it will come back. I am having a really hard time not getting scared of all of this he says. I try to be encouraging and happy and he just gets mean at times. We have been married for almost 30 years and I just feel like I'm going to get sick from worrying about him or his attitude. He is not following Christ so that makes it even harder.
Please any advise I feel lost and alone

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How to deal with this
« on: Fri Jan 24, 2020 - 20:16:37 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: How to deal with this
« Reply #1 on: Sat Jan 25, 2020 - 05:16:56 »
Do you have people at your church who are supportive? It sounds as if you could do with some people to talk to and pray with.
How sad that he doesn't know Jesus Christ. Sometimes when people get something like cancer it makes them think of their mortality, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

In the UK we have a charity that provides help and support for those who are going through cancer, and their families as well. They will visit regularly and give emotional and physical help and support. I wonder if there is anything like that there?

I also wonder if seeing a doctor may help, he sounds depressed. 
 
 

Offline tryingishard

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Re: How to deal with this
« Reply #2 on: Sat Jan 25, 2020 - 09:54:01 »
Thank you, I do have a few christian friends I can talk to and I'm there are people at church. I did talk to him about maybe getting depressed and of course he is denying that and says how else is he suppose to feel. We lost our beloved dog of 12 !/2 years and that loss has been very hard on all of us, but my husband is taking it exceptionally hard, so that on top of everything else I know is building up in him and I get that.
There is no cancer support here in our area, that very unusual for our area. Maybe other clinics do within but where we have to go there isn't. This puts so much anxiety on me too.

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Re: How to deal with this
« Reply #2 on: Sat Jan 25, 2020 - 09:54:01 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: How to deal with this
« Reply #3 on: Sat Jan 25, 2020 - 11:44:26 »
Often the charities who support those with cancer aren't actually connected to the hospitals or clinics. They are run separately.

Its a shame that he wont see his doctor as he would feel a lot better if he maybe had some short term medical help. Sometimes people just want to be miserable, but that's very hard on you. You may get to the point of telling him that you really can't take any more and that he needs to get help asap. Its very hard living with an angry and bitter person, it can make you very low as well.

Has he got a friend or family member who he may listen to?     

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Re: How to deal with this
« Reply #3 on: Sat Jan 25, 2020 - 11:44:26 »

 

     
anything