My husband is military and spent over a year deployed with this particular woman. When he came home, I found him private messaging her on Facebook. I was upset and asked that he no longer contact her. I thought he had complied, but a year later I found out he had continued contacting her on his military email account, had invited her to join his linked-in account, and had donated a considerable amount of money to her for a charitable run she was participating in. On nearly all occasions, it was my husband who reached out to her. After blowing up over all of this, he finally admitted he had also arranged to meet her for dinner months before on a business trip to her home town. He said both she and her husband met him for dinner, but I really have no idea. I suppose since he seems to have always been the instigator, this is possible.
His explanation to me is they were just "friends". He said he was going to tell me eventually and didn't think it was a big deal. He didn't say anything because he knew I would over-react. He also thought we would all get together sometime. (ummm, no) I'm having a very hard time believing all of this. I feel so hurt and betrayed, and find it even harder to believe he does/did not have deeper feelings than what he's saying. He has apologized over and over and has apparently now cut all ties with her, but I just can't get past it no matter how hard I try. I know I need to forgive him and I've prayed for the ability to do that, but I keep hitting a wall. I do love my husband, but part of me hates him for this. I think because I feel like he's not being honest about his feelings for her and his explanation makes no sense, but also because he has damaged our marriage and I no longer trust him. What is your take? Am I reading things wrong? Would a man pursue a woman like this if they were just friends?