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Offline chosenone

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2011, 07:55:22 PM »
I expect she would see it as you trying to put pressure on her, but I am sure the people involved would be extreemly concerned to know that this childs family may break up after 2 years of adopting her.You could maybe go to them yourself, and ask their advise as to what this may do to her and how you can help to minimise any damage. 
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2011, 07:55:22 PM »

Offline d8n0g

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2011, 04:29:16 PM »
i must say the tough love is working.  the past two days i wasnt saying much just one answer questions.  today i loosened up with thw attitude, and acted as if nothing ever happened-going about my own business.  she keeps giving me these weird looks, not angry.  she also keeps gravitating towards me.  inside i want to grab her and hug her.

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2011, 04:29:16 PM »

happypromises

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #17 on: January 15, 2012, 12:06:42 PM »
The key thing with 'tough love' though is not to come across as being mean or angry....it is tough LOVE, after all.   The best way to respond is to set simple non-negotiable boundaries and be firm with them, but nice at the same time.   So, if your wife has moved out (can't recall if she has or not), you could tell her, for example, that you would like her to call before she comes round, not just turn up.   You decide what those boundaries are, but you make it clear you love it, you would like to reconcile, but it will be on your terms....not hers.   No more begging, pleading, worrying, talking to her....let her get on with your life while you get on with yours.   

Hang in there bro...it DOES work.   ::smile::

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #17 on: January 15, 2012, 12:06:42 PM »

Offline d8n0g

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #18 on: January 15, 2012, 01:52:42 PM »
well, god is still telling me to love her and to stand.  Ilshe had a man in the house while my daughter and I were away and took offense to me saying she defiled our house, me, and my daughter when she crossed that line.  She said that God has given her peace in the path of divorce, which i find hard to believe.  God does not condone adultery and divorce.  our marriage is very fixable, and when i start to lose faith and fumed IT turns to tears and an internal tugging towards restoration.  Don't know what to do when she wants answers to what I plan to do differently-i say we pray and have faith.  One of the key things lacking in our marriage was my unwillingness to serce God.  I tell god it's as if im cursed with this ever growing love for my wife and this conviction to stand for our marriage.......

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #18 on: January 15, 2012, 01:52:42 PM »

Online JohnDB

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #19 on: January 15, 2012, 02:48:35 PM »
Standing in a biblical sense means to serve.....as in a waiter or attendant.

So start doing lil nice things for her. 
I wanna die like grandpa, peacefully and in my sleep; not like the passengers in his car...they were all screaming and panicking.

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #19 on: January 15, 2012, 02:48:35 PM »



Offline chosenone

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #20 on: January 15, 2012, 02:50:26 PM »
You need her to know that under no circumstances is she to bring a man into the home again. She cant possible have peace from God, she is just saying that. God does not give peace to a person who is commiiting adultery and ending their marriage for no reason.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #20 on: January 15, 2012, 02:50:26 PM »

Offline mrhide

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2012, 02:22:25 PM »

   d8n0g
You asked for   â€śNeed some sound advise

Offline Supplanter

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Re: need some sound advice
« Reply #22 on: January 17, 2012, 01:27:29 PM »
e can't really stop here from committing adultery. That is her choice. He can tell her the consequences of it and divorce her if she does it again, but if she wishes to sin then all he can do is respond and it is entirely up to him how he chooses to deal with it.
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