The key thing with 'tough love' though is not to come across as being mean or angry....it is tough LOVE, after all. The best way to respond is to set simple non-negotiable boundaries and be firm with them, but nice at the same time. So, if your wife has moved out (can't recall if she has or not), you could tell her, for example, that you would like her to call before she comes round, not just turn up. You decide what those boundaries are, but you make it clear you love it, you would like to reconcile, but it will be on your terms....not hers. No more begging, pleading, worrying, talking to her....let her get on with your life while you get on with yours.
Hang in there bro...it DOES work.