If You are in Marriage Crisis

[Elderdxc]

Married since 12/25/1996.  Wife says that my family rejects her, and she dislikes them.  We have one child, 8 year old boy; she has an adult son and a daughter who is almost 17. Daughter is mean to our son and disrespects me.  She showed my wife some old emails from an acct that I no longer used which contained communications from a pornographic website.   I no longer viewed the site, but I confessed what I had done and apologized.  I did some things to my computer to make those kind pf sites off limits, and lowered my internet activity. 

About a year later, in September 08, my wife decided that she could no longer remain married to me.  Because neither of us is working, she has not moved out.  We all live with my 80 year old great aunt, and look after her.  There has been so much hostility directed at me that I do not know what I should pray for, or do.  I am not looking to be involved with anyone else, and if there was a way that we can be at peace with one another, I would welcome it.  I just want the attacks against me and my son to stop.  My wife wants me to pay for her and her daughter to get their own place  as well as for the divorce that she apparently wants right now, but I am just a substitute teacher.  I do want the daughter out of the house because she is so nasty to my son, but I would be willing to try to work something out with my wife if possible.

Please advise.

[vantheman1976]

so then, my marriage was terrible. He was verbally abusive, on drugs, and never would try to change and my heart desired a loving husband. I know God is leading me through this divorce. So I met this person and the first thing he heard me say was I was going through a divorce. He came up to me and said "Hey, I just went through that too, if you need to talk let me know." And as I'm getting to know this person, we have a spiritual connection I never knew you could have with someone. I always say he's just perfect for me, and perfect is a strong word. Could this truly be part of Gods plan and reason to get me out of a disobedient marriage?

People tend to believe what that want to believe to help them sleep through the night.  Jesus was very clear about grounds for divorce....adultry and abandonment of an unbeliever.  (Matthew 5:32; 19:9)  (1 Corinthians 7:15)
  In addition, I seriously doubt if you and this other person have feelings for each other, that it's from God.  To say that you feel this might be your future mate and you have a spiritual connection with them, and you feel God is leading you out of a marriage so you can be happy in a new one, is a perversion of God's will.  (Matthew 5:27-28)

[mandefar]

i guess you'll have to cross-check with Deuteronomy chapter 28. God  does not "generate adultery" as implied by hehealedme.

[leeford]

Well I would say you definitely need to ask God in prayer. I also thinks it would be wise to go to a trusted pastor for premarital counseling. Feel free to start a new thread about this in the Christian Singles section or here in the marriage section.

[angelrom]

9 The wise will be put to shame;
       they will be dismayed and trapped.
       Since they have rejected the word of the LORD,
       what kind of wisdom do they have?

 10 Therefore I will give their wives to other men
       and their fields to new owners.
       From the least to the greatest,
       all are greedy for gain;
       prophets and priests alike,
       all practice deceit.





Because the ones that think they are wise on their own, God will give their wifes to men that do follow God's Word...

Does that mean that if the husband doesn't take good care of the wife, God will find a way for the wife to find somebody who is much deserving with her love? I have been trying to study what has been written in the bible about divorce and remarriage and it has been interpreted that a woman is not allowed to divorce his husband. It is only the husband who has the right to do so. Please enlighten me with this.

I am going through thedarkest part of my life. It's has only been 2months since I married but my relationship is at the brink of falling apart. I would like to think that it is the distance that's causing this apart from losing his job, but I wasn't born yesterday. I can see that my husband is having an affair. He tells me that i should not question him, that I should follow what he wants without asking questions. He tells me that I am the one who's got the problem, the shortcoming of doubting him. But I am not stupid, I don't have to go through the details on what he does that makes me doubt him. Right now I am trying to keep my true feelings, the pain that kills me each day because if I would tell him, he would just hang up the phone and not talk to me. I have a lot of questions going on in my head but he won't answer me.My relatives and the people around me are already so worried about me and I cannot deny it that I am losing hope. I could hardly eat, sleep and I have already given up my volunteer work as a nurse.Sometimes I blame myself of marrying a man I only knew for a very short time. I saw in him my true love and soulmate prior to the marriage, that is why I said yes when he asked me to marry him. Sadly, he has changed a lot now that he's got me. We are working on my papers in order to be with him soon. But I am afraid of what I might discover when I get there. My parents told me that I should wait and see once we are together, and then decide on what to do.

In my heart, I never wanted this marriage to end. But what if it costs my life? A life of pain and misery that I never deserve. Right now I am meaningless. I feel like I have lost everything. Looking at myself in the mirror, I could no longer see the person I used to. I want to live again and I need your prayers guys and your advice on what I should do.

A lot of people around  tell me that I am still young, that there are still alot of guys out there, but the vow I have made to God is so important to me.

They say that God allows something to happen for a reason. Do you think that if our marriage should end, it is God's will? Will God ever forgive me if ever our marriage will be annuled and me having to get married again?