Author Topic: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?  (Read 4281 times)

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Offline godismylove

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I've asked this question many times and so far have only gotten opinions, I left my husband because he was unfaithful which gave me grounds to leave.  Will I be blessed with another man? Is there scripture that can back anything up?

During service yesterday my pastor was tlaking about relationships and how you and your spouse will make a family and made the comment "hopefully they don't already have a family" well I have kids.

thank you to anyone who can give me an answer through scriptures. :)


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Offline Hot Ice

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2010, 10:39:35 PM »
I Corinthians 7, Matthew 19 are two chapters  that are constantly fought over, regarding divorce/remarriage.  There are some ridiculous conclusions, that are based on context-less thinking, and there are some legitimate oens that truly leave you scratching your head.  You are going to have a big wrestling match ahead of you, for sure; but I'll do what I can to help.

The point of having "grounds to divorce" was a case of what God permitted, not what He wanted.  Other factors that made a difference in whether a believer was under any bondage (from what I understand of those two passages) are:

  • Whether or not both spouse were Christians, with evidence clearly backing up (i.e., matching what the Bible says is evidence) that claim
  • Whether or not the sins in question were ever confronted Biblically, with the goal of reconciliation

From what I see one chapter back, in Matthew 18, if you've made attempts at reconciling your husband, that failed all the way to the point of the church leadership (not the congregation) confronting him, he is now to be treated as an unbeliever, and--combined with I Corinthians 7:15--you don't just have "the grounds to divorce", but are "not under bondage".  This leaves me with the final point:

Whether you are "blessed with another man" seems to depend on much more than whether or not you "divorced right" (too many people become legalistic, rather than Biblical about this ::smile::). 

--Are you dealing with anything in your heart (passions/loyalties/goals) that is/are competing with God for number one place?

--Are you confessing sin RIGHT AWAY, as soon as the Holy Spirit convicts you?

--Are you growing in your love and thirst for God's Word?

If so, check out the order of Psalm 37:4:  First and foremost comes delighting yourself in the Lord.

THEN and ONLY THEN,

HE WILL GIVE YOU the desires of your (newly cleansed, purified, devoted, holy, submitted, Godly, settled, strengthened) heart.

When?  I don't know (and neither does anyone else!!)  But I'm praying for you (right now) as you wrestle with this.

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2010, 10:39:35 PM »

Offline godismylove

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2010, 11:00:38 PM »
Thank you.
And I have to admit right now while I feel convicted of this, this is for my mom. She's such an amazing person and deserves to be happy and share that with someone else. she went through so much with her husband and he put her through so much, and above everything her main reason of leaving was he kept her from living for the Lord.

The comment our pastor made last night really got her thinking and irritated her in a way, and I'm trying to reassure her that she can re-marry. but we have learned to not go by what people say unless they can back it up with scripture.

thank you so much

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2010, 11:00:38 PM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2010, 04:01:18 AM »
I recommend the website called www.divorcehope.com The man on this website is called Stephen Gola. Many years ago God led him to begin a massive study on divorce and remarriage in the Bible. He backs everything he says with scripture.He has no axe to grind, he isnt divorced himself. He has also written a  book which you can buy on his website, Take a look.

  Just wanted to add. both my husband and I are divorced for Biblical reasons, and God has blessed us with an amazing 2nd marriage. I have myself studied this subject for many years. I am 100% at peace about our marriage and God is blessing us and using us in amazing ways.We both had children,(young adults) and my husband is a brilliant step dad to my three children who never see their own dad. God loves to put the lonely into families and to give children good parents.

God Bless
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2010, 04:01:18 AM »

Offline BAH-BLAH

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2010, 07:41:28 AM »
I recommend the website called www.divorcehope.com The man on this website is called Stephen Gola. Many years ago God led him to begin a massive study on divorce and remarriage in the Bible. He backs everything he says with scripture.He has no axe to grind, he isnt divorced himself. He has also written a  book which you can buy on his website, Take a look.

  Just wanted to add. both my husband and I are divorced for Biblical reasons, and God has blessed us with an amazing 2nd marriage. I have myself studied this subject for many years. I am 100% at peace about our marriage and God is blessing us and using us in amazing ways.We both had children,(young adults) and my husband is a brilliant step dad to my three children who never see their own dad. God loves to put the lonely into families and to give children good parents.

God Bless


Gola is good on remarriage, no so much on divorce itself.

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2010, 07:41:28 AM »



Offline Ben

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2010, 09:32:47 AM »
Well I read the excellent response from Hot Ice and I agree 100%.  Having "been there, done that, got the medals (and the scars) from my divorce and re-marriage.  God has assured me 100% that there is nothing between Him and me regarding my divorce and re-marriage.  In a nut shell, my 22 year old (at the time) ex-wife was in a sexual relationship with a 15 year old boy and she divorced me for him.  Neither of us were Christians when we married.  I received Christ while we were separated and that only added fuel to the fire of her wanting out.  She is still not saved 35 years later.  I met my "real" wife seven weeks after the divorce. She was and is a born again Christian and I am her first husband.

Tell your mother to pray without ceasing, but also to keep in mind the only man she needs to make her life perfectly happy is Jesus.  NO earthly man will ever make her 100% complete like He will.

Ben

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2010, 09:32:47 AM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2010, 09:47:40 AM »
Well I read the excellent response from Hot Ice and I agree 100%.  Having "been there, done that, got the medals (and the scars) from my divorce and re-marriage.  God has assured me 100% that there is nothing between Him and me regarding my divorce and re-marriage.  In a nut shell, my 22 year old (at the time) ex-wife was in a sexual relationship with a 15 year old boy and she divorced me for him.  Neither of us were Christians when we married.  I received Christ while we were separated and that only added fuel to the fire of her wanting out.  She is still not saved 35 years later.  I met my "real" wife seven weeks after the divorce. She was and is a born again Christian and I am her first husband.

Tell your mother to pray without ceasing, but also to keep in mind the only man she needs to make her life perfectly happy is Jesus.  NO earthly man will ever make her 100% complete like He will.

Ben


 Ben great story.Neither myself or my husband have ever had any doubts that God bought us together and that we were meant to marry.

Godismylove
 However, just because we want to remarry,and  God allows it,  that doesnt mean that it will always happen. I met my second husband when I was 48. Christian women of that age greatly outnumber the men, and the fact is that many women of that age will never remarry. I had to accept that I may well never remarry, even though I wanted to.There simply arent enough men to go round. At my church, we have about 10 divorced women in their 40's and 50's, but no single men of that age.I do know several divorced women who have never remarried.   
I know thats hard to accept sometimes but thats the way it is.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

Offline Sherman Nobles

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2010, 10:06:16 AM »
Not to be self-serving, but you might find my book helpful, "God Is A Divorce' Too! A Message of Hope, Healing, and Forgiveness".  You can pick it up online.  As noted in the forward, it's recommended by pastors and theologians from many different churches and denominations.  

Concerning your pastor's comment about prospective spouses not already having a family, I'd remind him that Jospeh was said to be an especially righteous man because he was willing to be the father of a child not his own - the Son of God!  Also, pure and undefiled religion is taking care of widows and orphans, and in our society, there are plenty of women who are in many ways worse off than widows - called divorcees.  And some children who though they have a mother are as fatherless as an orphan.    Yes, there are many challenges to blending families, but God gives greater grace where there are greater challenges!

May the Lord bless you and your mom wonderfully!
« Last Edit: February 16, 2010, 03:27:44 PM by Sherman Nobles »
"Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:14 & 15

If interested the following link will is to a thread with my beliefs on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage: *Link Removed*

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2010, 10:57:54 AM »
I recommend the website called www.divorcehope.com The man on this website is called Stephen Gola.

This man is a false prophet.

Divorce is never God's Will.  Divorce is our will, based on circumstances sometimes out of our control.

Any one that says God talked to me in a parking lot and told me not to go to Bible School, that I will teach you all you will need to know...is listening to satan, not God.
I am what I am because of God's grace....

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2010, 10:57:54 AM »

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2010, 11:19:24 AM »
I've asked this question many times and so far have only gotten opinions, I left my husband because he was unfaithful which gave me grounds to leave.  Will I be blessed with another man? Is there scripture that can back anything up?

I do not recall any scriptures that tells someone who is divorced...that they will be blessed with another man.

There are plenty of scriptures that give us hope through Jesus; that we will be blessed if we listen to Him.

1Peter 2:6...For in Scripture it says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in Him will never be put to shame."

We are to trust in Jesus (the Word of God)...and draw near to Him.

Hebrews 10:22-24...Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

There is a hope of greener pasture...for those who are divorced; and this greener pasture is Jesus, and the Spirit of Jesus in us who will teach us to love.

There IS greener pasture...for those who suffered through divorce.  Trust in Jesus, and you will never be put to shame...and you can rest by the still water.  If God brings a Christian man into your life, praise Him for who He has choosen to give you.  Be equally yoked, willing to read the bible together, pray together...and each of you should trust in God and Him alone for your new life together.

Ask God to heal you of all your past hurt, pain, sin, suffering...and so on.  A healed person will bring hope to a relationship.  A hurting person brings nothing...so, find a healed man of God; and the grass will be greener...it is the only way.



« Last Edit: February 16, 2010, 01:28:11 PM by Thankfulldad »
I am what I am because of God's grace....

Offline chosenone

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2010, 01:48:46 PM »
I recommend the website called www.divorcehope.com The man on this website is called Stephen Gola.

This man is a false prophet.

Divorce is never God's Will.  Divorce is our will, based on circumstances sometimes out of our control.

Any one that says God talked to me in a parking lot and told me not to go to Bible School, that I will teach you all you will need to know...is listening to satan, not God.
 
   

He learnt all he needs to know in the Bible. We dont need to go to Bible school to be taught by God.Many of the best and most annointed Bible teachers never went to Bible school. Does the Bible tells us that we need to go to Bible school? No, it says that some will have the gift of teaching. Its your opinion that he is a false teacher, its mine, having heard him teach in person, that he is genuine.
Divorce isnt what God wants,it isnt what anyone wants, but it can be the lesser of two evils, and Jesus Himself allows divorce for certain reasons, such as sexual immorality.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

Offline chosenone

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2010, 01:51:28 PM »
I've asked this question many times and so far have only gotten opinions, I left my husband because he was unfaithful which gave me grounds to leave.  Will I be blessed with another man? Is there scripture that can back anything up?

I do not recall any scriptures that tells someone who is divorced...that they will be blessed with another man.

There are plenty of scriptures that give us hope through Jesus; that we will be blessed if we listen to Him.

1Peter 2:6...For in Scripture it says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in Him will never be put to shame."

We are to trust in Jesus (the Word of God)...and draw near to Him.

Hebrews 10:22-24...Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

There is a hope of greener pasture...for those who are divorced; and this greener pasture is Jesus, and the Spirit of Jesus in us who will teach us to love.

There IS greener pasture...for those who suffered through divorce.  Trust in Jesus, and you will never be put to shame...and you can rest by the still water.  If God brings a Christian man into your life, praise Him for who He has choosen to give you.  Be equally yoked, willing to read the bible together, pray together...and each of you should trust in God and Him alone for your new life together.

Ask God to heal you of all your past hurt, pain, sin, suffering...and so on.  A healed person will bring hope to a relationship.  A hurting person brings nothing...so, find a healed man of God; and the grass will be greener...it is the only way.






 God can also do a lot of healing THROUGH our our spouse, as he has done for me and my husband.
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

Offline chosenone

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2010, 01:52:50 PM »
I recommend the website called www.divorcehope.com The man on this website is called Stephen Gola.

This man is a false prophet.

Divorce is never God's Will.  Divorce is our will, based on circumstances sometimes out of our control.

Any one that says God talked to me in a parking lot and told me not to go to Bible School, that I will teach you all you will need to know...is listening to satan, not God.


 We can be divorced AGAINST our will, as my husband was.In that case it isnt our will, it is the will of the other person..
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #13 on: February 16, 2010, 02:10:02 PM »
I recommend the website called www.divorcehope.com The man on this website is called Stephen Gola.

This man is a false prophet.

Divorce is never God's Will.  Divorce is our will, based on circumstances sometimes out of our control.

Any one that says God talked to me in a parking lot and told me not to go to Bible School, that I will teach you all you will need to know...is listening to satan, not God.
He learnt all he needs to know in the Bible.

And from voices he alone claimed to hear???????????

He claims immediate understanding???????????

The man understands what people want to hear....that much is for sure.
I am what I am because of God's grace....

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: If you divorce, will you be blessed with another spouse? can you re-marry?
« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2010, 02:11:39 PM »
I recommend the website called www.divorcehope.com The man on this website is called Stephen Gola.

This man is a false prophet.

Divorce is never God's Will.  Divorce is our will, based on circumstances sometimes out of our control.

Any one that says God talked to me in a parking lot and told me not to go to Bible School, that I will teach you all you will need to know...is listening to satan, not God.


 We can be divorced AGAINST our will, as my husband was.In that case it isnt our will, it is the will of the other person..

It was not my will to be divorced either; regardless...that does not make it God's Will.
I am what I am because of God's grace....