If your husband could not provide enough money, would you leave him?

[Richard]

Maybe I need to change cologne. I seem to attract sofa jockeys.

[lightshineon]

Maybe I need to change cologne. I seem to attract sofa jockeys.

do you wear tag?

[chosenone]

Maybe I need to change cologne. I seem to attract sofa jockeys.

rICHARD,  where do you meet them? at church or in a  bar? 

[lightshineon]

 Oh no, Chosen (LOL), I met my husband  ( was not living strongly for the Lord, kind of luke warm, not a wild woman or anything though) at a club called undies. I hate when people ask where we met, from church. I say " friends" leave out details.

[janine]

Don't let it sweat you, lightshineon.  If Mary asked Jesus where he'd met some of His friends, where would he have said?

"At a party at the tax collector's house".

"At the well in the afternoon time when the prostitutes come for water."

"On the roadside, among a crowd of "unclean" Greeks and Roman soldiers."

I suspect you'll continue to get people lecturing you on how you're not supposed to leave your husband unless you go back and edit your OP to be a little more obviously ironic/sarcastic.

As for me... No, my husband being unable to provide his usual level of financial support would be no reason to leave him.  Now, if he were unwilling... I wouldn't so much leave him, as kick his tushie out.

[lightshineon]

Don't let it sweat you, lightshineon.  If Mary asked Jesus where he'd met some of His friends, where would he have said?

"At a party at the tax collector's house".

"At the well in the afternoon time when the prostitutes come for water."

"On the roadside, among a crowd of "unclean" Greeks and Roman soldiers."

I suspect you'll continue to get people lecturing you on how you're not supposed to leave your husband unless you go back and edit your OP to be a little more obviously ironic/sarcastic.

As for me... No, my husband being unable to provide his usual level of financial support would be no reason to leave him.  Now, if he were unwilling... I wouldn't so much leave him, as kick his tushie out.

 I know, I need to edit, sarcasm  does not work for me well. I love my husband if you do, If I have the Lord, and my family nothing else really matters. My husband is a workaholic, sometimes, wish he was not as much, but it is who he is, and I miss him.

[BAH-BLAH]

You made a covenant before God that you would not.  Do you value that covenant and love God and your husband more?  Or money?

If you were paralyzed from the neck down and he decided to leave you for a woman with working legs, would that be OK? 

Sheesh. 

James of course I would not leave him, just saying this because the woman fatty thread. What men do not understand, which I am trying to them they define themselves, as well as society by sucess. Just as society has put on women their definition of having to be beautiful physically. i love the Lord with everything in my being, and second my husband rich man, middle class man, or poor man.

I wont even read the rest of the thread. Your entire premise is badly flawed, and again, dwelling in the straw men that you and the ladies in that thread created.
No one said ANYTHING  about a man leaving a woman due to weight gain.
You really need to thinbk things through...logically...ba sed on EXACTLKY what the other person says, before running off half cocked with this histrionic accusatory tone

[chosenone]

You made a covenant before God that you would not.  Do you value that covenant and love God and your husband more?  Or money?

If you were paralyzed from the neck down and he decided to leave you for a woman with working legs, would that be OK? 

Sheesh. 

James of course I would not leave him, just saying this because the woman fatty thread. What men do not understand, which I am trying to them they define themselves, as well as society by sucess. Just as society has put on women their definition of having to be beautiful physically. i love the Lord with everything in my being, and second my husband rich man, middle class man, or poor man.

I wont even read the rest of the thread. Your entire premise is badly flawed, and again, dwelling in the straw men that you and the ladies in that thread created.
No one said ANYTHING  about a man leaving a woman due to weight gain.
You really need to thinbk things through...logically...ba sed on EXACTLKY what the other person says, before running off half cocked with this histrionic accusatory tone

 









What is all this straw man stuff that you keep mentioning?

 I heard a brilliant talk about the song of songs yesterday on line by Mark Driscoll and he said that men need to set their standard of beauty by their wives alone . he then said, what if your wife has put on weight? You need to change your standards. He said the worst thing is to compare your spouse to others (both men and women) He said that even when your wife is 75, she should  still be your standard of beauty, even though she is nothing like she was at 25. That made me feel hopeful that men are all different.

[BAH-BLAH]

You made a covenant before God that you would not.  Do you value that covenant and love God and your husband more?  Or money?

If you were paralyzed from the neck down and he decided to leave you for a woman with working legs, would that be OK? 

Sheesh. 

James of course I would not leave him, just saying this because the woman fatty thread. What men do not understand, which I am trying to them they define themselves, as well as society by sucess. Just as society has put on women their definition of having to be beautiful physically. i love the Lord with everything in my being, and second my husband rich man, middle class man, or poor man.

I wont even read the rest of the thread. Your entire premise is badly flawed, and again, dwelling in the straw men that you and the ladies in that thread created.
No one said ANYTHING  about a man leaving a woman due to weight gain.
You really need to thinbk things through...logically...ba sed on EXACTLKY what the other person says, before running off half cocked with this histrionic accusatory tone

 









What is all this straw man stuff that you keep mentioning?

 I heard a brilliant talk about the song of songs yesterday on line by Mark Driscoll and he said that men need to set their standard of beauty by their wives alone . he then said, what if your wife has put on weight? You need to change your standards. He said the worst thing is to compare your spouse to others (both men and women) He said that even when your wife is 75, she should  still be your standard of beauty, even though she is nothing like she was at 25. That made me feel hopeful that men are all different.

The straw men are:

1. that someone suggested divorcing an overweight wife
2. that someone said their looks are ALL that matter
3. and that this is somehow a man vs women issue.

Not ONE of those things has been asserted, yet the ladies are busy arguing against them.

If you dont see the need to at leats attempt to stay attractive for your mate....thats very sad. It cuts both ways. Just as one spoiuse should accept the other, the other should ATTEMPT to remain attractive. Thats all thats being said.
Those of you arguing the straw men are essentially saying, especially you with this quote, that there exists a license for slovenly behavior.

[chosenone]

Blah bah
You are assuming that all those who are a bit overweight are that way becuase of 'slovenly' behaviour. I can  assure you that is NOT the case. The gym that my husband and I go to is full of people who work very hard there, often 3-5 times a week and STILL struggle to loose weight. Weight gets harder to loose as you get older, especially for women at the menopause. These people work very hard just to aviod putting any weight on, let alone loose any.
I agree that it bad for anyone to sit around all day and watch tv and eat ice cream and pizza, but I dont actually know anyone who does that.
many women also gain weight after pregnancy, and that is also hard to loose. The largest friend that I have is also the most active. She is on the go all day but she is still large. however her husband is quite large also and they love each other to bits. They have a marriage made in heaven, despite their size.

[BAH-BLAH]

Blah bah
You are assuming that all those who are a bit overweight are that way becuase of 'slovenly' behaviour. I can  assure you that is NOT the case. The gym that my husband and I go to is full of people who work very hard there, often 3-5 times a week and STILL struggle to loose weight. Weight gets harder to loose as you get older, especially for women at the menopause. These people work very hard just to aviod putting any weight on, let alone loose any.
I agree that it bad for anyone to sit around all day and watch tv and eat ice cream and pizza, but I dont actually know anyone who does that.
many women also gain weight after pregnancy, and that is also hard to loose. The largest friend that I have is also the most active. She is on the go all day but she is still large. however her husband is quite large also and they love each other to bits. They have a marriage made in heaven, despite their size.

Filled with straw men again

I didnt suggest ALL were slovenly. I react to the dismissive nature of the blowback about this...its as if weight is OFF LIMITS.
Second, that that couple "loves each other to pieces" is another straw man, because here again, its you ladies who keep insisting that not loving the person is one of the issues....its NOT.

The stuff being said by those who want their spouse (not wife....spouse) to not grow and grow fits perfectly with a Godly notion on marriage and cherishing ones mate. there is no conflict except that created by the objectors

[chosenone]

Blah bah
You are assuming that all those who are a bit overweight are that way becuase of 'slovenly' behaviour. I can  assure you that is NOT the case. The gym that my husband and I go to is full of people who work very hard there, often 3-5 times a week and STILL struggle to loose weight. Weight gets harder to loose as you get older, especially for women at the menopause. These people work very hard just to aviod putting any weight on, let alone loose any.
I agree that it bad for anyone to sit around all day and watch tv and eat ice cream and pizza, but I dont actually know anyone who does that.
many women also gain weight after pregnancy, and that is also hard to loose. The largest friend that I have is also the most active. She is on the go all day but she is still large. however her husband is quite large also and they love each other to bits. They have a marriage made in heaven, despite their size.

Filled with straw men again

I didnt suggest ALL were slovenly. I react to the dismissive nature of the blowback about this...its as if weight is OFF LIMITS.
Second, that that couple "loves each other to pieces" is another straw man, because here again, its you ladies who keep insisting that not loving the person is one of the issues....its NOT.

The stuff being said by those who want their spouse (not wife....spouse) to not grow and grow fits perfectly with a Godly notion on marriage and cherishing ones mate. there is no conflict except that created by the objectors

 

if you love someone you accept them as they are. Our spouses will never be 100% exactly as we would like them to be, so what? We love and accept them anyway, Just as they are, not as WE want them to be.
Our spouses needs to always be our standard whether it be in looks or anything else.To be discontent with our spouse is poison to a marriage,ask my husband, he was married for 23 years to a women who wanted him to be someone body who he was not. it is soul destroying. 

[BAH-BLAH]

Blah bah
You are assuming that all those who are a bit overweight are that way becuase of 'slovenly' behaviour. I can  assure you that is NOT the case. The gym that my husband and I go to is full of people who work very hard there, often 3-5 times a week and STILL struggle to loose weight. Weight gets harder to loose as you get older, especially for women at the menopause. These people work very hard just to aviod putting any weight on, let alone loose any.
I agree that it bad for anyone to sit around all day and watch tv and eat ice cream and pizza, but I dont actually know anyone who does that.
many women also gain weight after pregnancy, and that is also hard to loose. The largest friend that I have is also the most active. She is on the go all day but she is still large. however her husband is quite large also and they love each other to bits. They have a marriage made in heaven, despite their size.

Filled with straw men again

I didnt suggest ALL were slovenly. I react to the dismissive nature of the blowback about this...its as if weight is OFF LIMITS.
Second, that that couple "loves each other to pieces" is another straw man, because here again, its you ladies who keep insisting that not loving the person is one of the issues....its NOT.

The stuff being said by those who want their spouse (not wife....spouse) to not grow and grow fits perfectly with a Godly notion on marriage and cherishing ones mate. there is no conflict except that created by the objectors

 

if you love someone you accept them as they are. Our spouses will never be 100% exactly as we would like them to be, so what? We love and accept them anyway, Just as they are, not as WE want them to be.
Our spouses needs to always be our standard whether it be in looks or anything else.To be discontent with our spouse is poison to a marriage,ask my husband, he was married for 23 years to a women who wanted him to be someone body who he was not. it is soul destroying. 

You are still arguing with yourself.

But I will say, I wonder, if your husband stopped brushing his teeth, they turned black and were falling out.....would you bother? Would you ask him,. please brush and floss......or would you follow EXACTLY the advice you mention above.
IF you in any way would be unhappy about it....and if for example you were to not want to kiss him.....then you hold a view in direct hypocrisy to stated view.

If you dont mind, if he grows an Islamic beard and rots his teeth, cool, you are 100% genuine.

NOTE: I DIDNT say you wouldnt love him, or that you would divorce him, I asked would you WANT him to change that?

Because thats all we are talking about, and I am certain you would not like the rotted teeth and you would want it fixed and therefore all this about weight is pure pick your spot hypocrisy

[lightshineon]

Blah bah
You are assuming that all those who are a bit overweight are that way because of 'slovenly' behaviour. I Can assure you that is NOT the case. The gym that my husband and I go to is full of people who work very hard there, often 3-5 times a week and STILL struggle to loose weight. Weight gets harder to loose as you get older, especially for women at the menopause. These people work very hard just to avoid putting any weight on, let alone loose any.
I agree that it bad for anyone to sit around all day and watch TV and eat ice cream and pizza, but I dont actually know anyone who does that.
many women also gain weight after pregnancy, and that is also hard to loose. The largest friend that I have is also the most active. She is on the go all day but she is still large. however her husband is quite large also and they love each other to bits. They have a marriage made in heaven, despite their size.

Filled with straw men again

I didnt suggest ALL were slovenly. I react to the dismissive nature of the blowback about this...its as if weight is OFF LIMITS.
Second, that that couple "loves each other to pieces" is another straw man, because here again, its you ladies who keep insisting that not loving the person is one of the issues....its NOT.

The stuff being said by those who want their spouse (not wife....spouse) to not grow and grow fits perfectly with a Godly notion on marriage and cherishing ones mate. there is no conflict except that created by the objectors

 

if you love someone you accept them as they are. Our spouses will never be 100% exactly as we would like them to be, so what? We love and accept them anyway, Just as they are, not as WE want them to be.
Our spouses needs to always be our standard whether it be in looks or anything else.To be discontent with our spouse is poison to a marriage,ask my husband, he was married for 23 years to a women who wanted him to be someone body who he was not. it is soul destroying. 

You are still arguing with yourself.

But I will say, I wonder, if your husband stopped brushing his teeth, they turned black and were falling out.....would you bother? Would you ask him,. please brush and floss......or would you follow EXACTLY the advice you mention above.
IF you in any way would be unhappy about it....and if for example you were to not want to kiss him.....then you hold a view in direct hypocrisy to stated view.

If you dont mind, if he grows an Islamic beard and rots his teeth, cool, you are 100% genuine.

NOTE: I DIDNT say you wouldn't love him, or that you would divorce him, I asked would you WANT him to change that?

Because that's all we are talking about, and I am certain you would not like the rotted teeth and you would want it fixed and therefore all this about weight is pure pick your spot hypocrisy

 Thought you were not reading it again? But if you glance. I will say this blahblah and I am saying it with (respect )you need to quit having a bad attitude. 1.It does not help your argument. 2. I really wonder if you are so goodlooking, you have a right to say anything. 3. Even if you are a hunk of a man, you seem domineering to women, and your attitude sucks, so that would factor in your attractiveness factor.4. That does not work with me, telling me how bad I am, and what I need to do, you call me hardheaded, whatever you  want to. 5.Your Islamic, rotting teeth is a strawman. No one said Chessmans wife did not brush her teeth hair, or had body odor. 6. Quit accusing me of being fat, I am not, and my husband is fine with me, and chosenones husband is fine with her, as other men and women are just fine Chessman needs to quit being shallow, and you need a dose of reality, that we will not always look the same, and your wife, will not always look the same, and you will change. My husband was watching, had to ( job situation) a group of people we know playing volleyball. There is a woman about forty five wearing a bikini. She is slim, and very attractive in clothes. My husband said she had bad cellulite, so women or men over a certain age, should not wear these kinds of bathing suits. I would not wear one even now (LOL). Bodies change, we die a little each day, we age a little each day. If the chessman's wife is over one hundred pounds, OK that would be a problem in many ways. Chessman sounds jealous of her old husband.
 My post, about money is the same thing. If things changed would your husband still be good enough for a woman. Just as shallow as forty pounds. Is that not a fair question?


 

[BAH-BLAH]

Blah bah
You are assuming that all those who are a bit overweight are that way because of 'slovenly' behaviour. I Can assure you that is NOT the case. The gym that my husband and I go to is full of people who work very hard there, often 3-5 times a week and STILL struggle to loose weight. Weight gets harder to loose as you get older, especially for women at the menopause. These people work very hard just to avoid putting any weight on, let alone loose any.
I agree that it bad for anyone to sit around all day and watch TV and eat ice cream and pizza, but I dont actually know anyone who does that.
many women also gain weight after pregnancy, and that is also hard to loose. The largest friend that I have is also the most active. She is on the go all day but she is still large. however her husband is quite large also and they love each other to bits. They have a marriage made in heaven, despite their size.

Filled with straw men again

I didnt suggest ALL were slovenly. I react to the dismissive nature of the blowback about this...its as if weight is OFF LIMITS.
Second, that that couple "loves each other to pieces" is another straw man, because here again, its you ladies who keep insisting that not loving the person is one of the issues....its NOT.

The stuff being said by those who want their spouse (not wife....spouse) to not grow and grow fits perfectly with a Godly notion on marriage and cherishing ones mate. there is no conflict except that created by the objectors

 

if you love someone you accept them as they are. Our spouses will never be 100% exactly as we would like them to be, so what? We love and accept them anyway, Just as they are, not as WE want them to be.
Our spouses needs to always be our standard whether it be in looks or anything else.To be discontent with our spouse is poison to a marriage,ask my husband, he was married for 23 years to a women who wanted him to be someone body who he was not. it is soul destroying. 

You are still arguing with yourself.

But I will say, I wonder, if your husband stopped brushing his teeth, they turned black and were falling out.....would you bother? Would you ask him,. please brush and floss......or would you follow EXACTLY the advice you mention above.
IF you in any way would be unhappy about it....and if for example you were to not want to kiss him.....then you hold a view in direct hypocrisy to stated view.

If you dont mind, if he grows an Islamic beard and rots his teeth, cool, you are 100% genuine.

NOTE: I DIDNT say you wouldn't love him, or that you would divorce him, I asked would you WANT him to change that?

Because that's all we are talking about, and I am certain you would not like the rotted teeth and you would want it fixed and therefore all this about weight is pure pick your spot hypocrisy

 Thought you were not reading it again? But if you glance. I will say this blahblah and I am saying it with (respect )you need to quit having a bad attitude. 1.It does not help your argument. 2. I really wonder if you are so goodlooking, you have a right to say anything. 3. Even if you are a hunk of a man, you seem domineering to women, and your attitude sucks, so that would factor in your attractiveness factor.4. That does not work with me, telling me how bad I am, and what I need to do, you call me hardheaded, whatever you  want to. 5.Your Islamic, rotting teeth is a strawman. No one said Chessmans wife did not brush her teeth hair, or had body odor. 6. Quit accusing me of being fat, I am not, and my husband is fine with me, and chosenones husband is fine with her, as other men and women are just fine Chessman needs to quit being shallow, and you need a dose of reality, that we will not always look the same, and your wife, will not always look the same, and you will change. My husband was watching, had to ( job situation) a group of people we know playing volleyball. There is a woman about forty five wearing a bikini. She is slim, and very attractive in clothes. My husband said she had bad cellulite, so women or men over a certain age, should not wear these kinds of bathing suits. I would not wear one even now (LOL). Bodies change, we die a little each day, we age a little each day. If the chessman's wife is over one hundred pounds, OK that would be a problem in many ways. Chessman sounds jealous of her old husband.
 My post, about money is the same thing. If things changed would your husband still be good enough for a woman. Just as shallow as forty pounds. Is that not a fair question?


 

You are mixing up posts. i never, nor would i ever say YOU or anyone is fat. I just flat wouldnt say that.

The rotting teeth is not a straw man, its an analogy. IF you would object to rotting teeth, then you are a hypocrit on this matter. its that simple.
Your post about money is NOT even close. Its not a physical characteristic, AND your post asks about leaving your spouse over it...and thats never been even hinted over the weight thing.

I totally know folks wont look the same, and IM FINE with it. Gosh you really need to read whats written, and not what you THINK is written.

The rotting teeth is a perfect analogy. A person who is able to not gain lots of weight (trhis is not nor has it ever been about bikini's or them not changing with kids or age, you are making that up, and I suspect you skim rather than read the posts) and does so to a degree where they are less attractive to their mate, the mate shoudl not divorce, berate, love less, say hurtful things....need I repeat that so you get it, not divorce, not berate, not love less, not fail to accept, not say hurtful things.....shall I say again? Please READ. All I am saying, and I mean ALL I am saying is, that the guy in his mind finds that less attractive is NOT a character flaw.
And to illustrate that, if a mate ALLOWED their teeth to rot out, that also would be ok to NOT find attractive.

The money thing is WAY out of line and not even logically in the same vein.