I am really praying that both men and women can give me some advice and help so that I can get past this issue I am having and be happy in my relationship. I have finally met a really great christian guy, and in every way has proven to me what a wonderful person he is. I have prayed and prayed about this relationship, making sure that it is God's will. I have never had anyone treat me the way he has, and he makes me want to be a better person, a stonger Christian, and makes me want to be the best I can for him also. We have dated now for about a year, and instead of the great qualities going away or fading, it all just gets better. He has started to talk about marriage, and how he knows he could never find anyone like me, and he feels as if I am the one God has chosen for him. I believe all of that, and I need to work through some things that have hurt me in the past that make me insecure in this relationship. Before him, I allowed myself to be treated less than great, and was cheated on by numerous occasions. 2 1/2 years ago I brokeup with someone I was with for 5 years because he cheated on me. I have no question in my mind that the man I am with now would ever cheat. It doesnt even worry me, he was cheated on before he met me, and I know without a doubt he would never do that. However I think because of what I went through previously I am very insecure about certain things. The guy who cheated on me constantly looked at other women, even right in front of me and would say things sometimes about them. I never felt good enough. This happened in other relationships, and now I have this horrible issue where I can't get past that. I have a really hard time accepting that it is natural for men to notice other women. I have read and been told that men and women are just different in that way. I am so happy and content in the relationship I am in that I do not notice other good looking men throughout the day. I really cant remember the last time I thought anythign like that to myself (except about my boyfriend) Somehow because of a sermon at church we got on this subject one day and I asked him if he looked at other women. He has never had an interest in mens magazines, he said he's always known they were wrong, and he said he's always known it was wrong to look at women lustfully, like they were a piece of meat. He said he felt this way even when he was single. But he said that he can't help but notice an attractive woman, not that he goes looking for them, but if there is one right in front of him its like a reaction just to notice. He said he doesnt dwell on it or let his thoughts go anywhere else, but noticing them happens before he can even think about it. He said sometimes he does a double take, and he thinks thats a natural reaction also. He said he would never do anything, and he has no desire to do anything because he knows what he has with me, and nothing could compare to that, and that no matter what I will always be more beautiful to him than anyone else. But just because he finds me beautiful doesnt mean he wont notice anyone else. My problem is, if he is so happy with me, why would he even be on the lookout for other attractive women? I see people all the same, just as people. If I were single and looking for someone I would definitely take notice, but being that I am very happy and content with him, I am oblivious. It makes me feel like I am not enough if he notices other women. And I know in the bible in different places it speaks about a man not looking at other women. It doesnt speak about women that way. For instance, with Job and how he made a covenant to not lust after other women. So obviously men are different in this way. And we both read The Purpose Driven life together, there was a whole section about this and the temptations. And it was directed towards men, and how being attracted to another woman is not a sin until you dwell on it and it becomes lust. I just dont understand how men cant just be satisfied with what they have. If you are looking it makes me think somewhere inside you must looking for something better. And I dont understand how doing a double take is a natural reaction. If you look once maybe, but when you look the second time that is your choice. But he said that if he notices someone out of the corner of his eye he will look again and it happens before he realizes it. He is one of the most honest people I know, and if he tried to lie about anything it would be so obvious. So i know he is being honest about this and how he feels. I just feel like if he is always noticing other people, he must not be completely happy with me, and one day he may find someone else who is better. I know looks arent everything, but for men it is what starts the attraction and the desire to be with someone. I guess I am having trouble accepting or understanding why and how men are so different in this. I wish I could understand why men dont have eyes only for their wife, but women do. I would really appreciate any men who have input in this and who could maybe explain to me their side, and any woman who may have been through the same feelings and know how to get past it!