Is it too late for God to save my wife and this marriage

[topman]

Renae – many thanks for your response – I will be proceeding with a divorce by end of May – in between then I am spending time with God, building my foundations of peace and going to see my sister in San Diego in April. Every since I have finalised on my decision I have had peace (I still might be occasionally depressed) but that base of peace is still there – that’s how I know I am making the right choice. The decision has been made and I know the path I have to walk with God as my guide. A day or 4 days or 4 months to start the process – it does not matter now as I have had my answer.

I thank you all for your comments – but in regards to my soon to be ex – there is nothing I can do now – but leave her to God and hope He touches her heart for her own future.  She is my past and I am coming to accepting that – she will always be the mother to be son and I will give her respect for that and have unity for the sack of our son – but that is where our relations will end.  I cannot take her where I want to God – the visions I have in my future and the partner I am praying for in His own time. My ex did not bring the good out of me and I feel my spiritual relationship with God sucked out of me every-time I am near her.  I look forward now – I pray for better things – I do not look at the last 6 years as a waste for without those years I probably will not be where I am especially with my relationship with God.  I can only grow in wisdom from this, be truly obedient, and walk in peace and understanding with Him. It is hard with temptations of the world, but in time it will become a habit, and that will become my character.

[topman]

   26/01 – Thurs 9:13am – I keep having happy days and sad days – at the moment I feel depressed – this overcast that hangs on my head early in the morning and most of the day. Listening to sermons; the messages about being like Christ to the church as you should be to your spouse gets me down – not that I do not accept the Word; but more I understand it now but its too late for me (especially for this marriage) – if only she had been patient and not resorted to her destruction and the marriage's. The marriage is over - I am just moaning the death of what could have been.
I am leaning on God and cannot no longer rely on getting peace from the outside as it is not possible only from within. Better easier said than done – I just want to remain within myself and shut down to the World – I know it is not healthy (but in doing this i'm not expectant from the outside, I wont be dissapointed) is it right to feel like that?– but that’s the thing – I know what is right and how I should walk with God but I am not doing it half the time; I worry too much. The sins I commit are from within and not outwards – sometimes I lust after a pretty girl I talk to or see – and I pray that God heals my heart, guides me so I do not lose my way. Sometimes I want to throw in the towel – if my ex could just go out and be with people – why can’t I? Because it is all false worldly pleasures that eventually lead to destruction.  Does this cup I have to drink be this difficult? – what if I fail then all my suffering would have been in vain.  What is I succeed (when will that be? What is succeeding in a situation like this?). I think we have all lost.

I started my alpha course yesterday – not really liking my group as they are mostly all at least 8 years older than I am and I am having difficulty connecting (the fact that there are 4 couples in my group does not help either or maybe God is trying to tell me something) – it was the first night and I need to understand more that its not about what I get from the group – its what I can bring to the group. Starting next week - I will be playing football Monday evening with work mates, church small group Tues evenings, Alpha Weds, Thurs and weekend to either relax, meet friends or be with my son.  I think when I get more of a structure going things will get better.

[Nathanael]

Hang in there, it is very difficult indeed but it will improve. I know how hard it is, but let me assure you it will not stay this way forever.  God will move you forward and bring you a hope and a future. If you stumble He will take you back, like the Father and the prodigal son. Just hold on to Him and keep breathing.

[rickwallace21]

God hold the marriage in high regard as it is covenantal. God is sovereign and will always be. So the answer in simple is, Yes God can save your marriage. Even in its current state. In fact God wants to reach down into the impenetrable fortress of your negative circumstances and wrought out a miracle.

[happypromises]

Topman
My goodness...this is strange.  Today, I read the book of Hosea and again I was struck at how much the OT is all about the love of God, the intense love He has for us.   I don't think we can even begin to guess at how huge it is.   As soon as I opened your thread and read the story, I thought back to that....and then you mentioned Hosea yourself.

If I were to answer the original question you posed as the subject name for this thread, I would say wholeheartedly, 'YES'...God can and I believe, desires to do the unthinkable in each of our lives.   I say this from the point of view of someone who's walking a slightly similiar path of betrayal and the agony of heartache.  But no matter where I look, all through scripture, is this God who wants to restore, redeem, heal and put back together the most broken of people, the most broken of relationships.

But the key factor to all of this, is willingness.  If both partners are willing to literally throw their lives in the air and say, 'Whatever you want Lord...by the world's standards, this makes NO sense...but I'm willing to go where you lead me', then wow, oh wow, what miracles you can see.  The number of guys your wife has been with, is utterly irrelevant, if her heart desires to change.

But in your case, then it seems the desire to change isn't there - then if that is the case, truly, then you have made the right choice.  I think God guides us in ways we cannot see...He just gently nudges us toward the *right* decision for us.   In your case, it sounds like you have moved toward ending it.   In my case...I just got a very clear signal that I needed to 'hold on, to be patient...'.  The world says it's utterly hopeless, but I believe in a God who is bigger than that.   That is also, incidentally, one of the themes of Hosea which jumped out at me today - that God was judging the people because of the fact they were turning to earthly wisdom for their answers.

God's will is written in your heart and, if after study and prayer you believe you have made the right decision, then you most definitely have.   And that can only mean one thing - that God has something great in store for you.   Hard to believe, when it feels like there is no point in going on...but I have experienced He IS faithful.    He is, He is, He is.