Author Topic: kick the dust off my feet  (Read 582 times)

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Offline MJ

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kick the dust off my feet
« on: Sat Sep 29, 2018 - 22:58:39 »
this is my first post.

i would like some help processing the idea of enabling vs helping.

my husband of 7 years has some serious emotional issues that have caused him great distress, and have led to a lot of destructive behavior. over that time, i have prayed my heart out for him, believed the best for him, spoken life to him and over him ... all to no avail. he says that he wants to know God "so bad, but it always seems out of his reach." there was a season of about 3-4 months where i read the Bible to him, he seemed to receive it and even grow a bit. but then did a 180 and went back to the raging abusive behavior.

recently, i was told i had done all i could and to stop enabling him. this is not the first time i have been told to let go ... for my own sake.

we are talking about someone's heaven or hell. it is so hard to just kick the dust off my feet when i know the path of life and freedom. my heart breaks for him!

would Jesus just walk away?

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kick the dust off my feet
« on: Sat Sep 29, 2018 - 22:58:39 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #1 on: Sun Sep 30, 2018 - 15:48:28 »
Was he like that when you married him?

Offline 4WD

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #2 on: Sun Sep 30, 2018 - 17:08:10 »
would Jesus just walk away?
That is what Jesus instructed His disciples to do.

Mat 10:14  And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.

Mar 6:11  And if any place will not receive you and they will not listen to you, when you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them."

Luk 9:5  And wherever they do not receive you, when you leave that town shake off the dust from your feet as a testimony against them."

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #2 on: Sun Sep 30, 2018 - 17:08:10 »

Offline MJ

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #3 on: Sun Sep 30, 2018 - 19:57:47 »
we were baptized together a month before we got married. to be fair, i was not in a good place emotionally when we got married. the battles for our marriage have been the refining fire that have resulted in great growth for me. so, in answer to your question, yes ... when we met, he was in a very dark place emotionally too. he has simply chosen to do nothing, take no help offered. when we went to church together, he would not worship, he would just look around. he made some friends at church and attended some small groups. they gave him very good tools, but he wont pick them up and use them. that has been his mode of operation since i met him. i am just at the point now that i have exhausted all options.

thing is ... i have received several promises from God that are connected to this marriage. to break the marriage, would be to turn my back on those promises .. at least in my perspective.

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #3 on: Sun Sep 30, 2018 - 19:57:47 »

Offline planetshaker

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #4 on: Sun Sep 30, 2018 - 21:16:52 »
I'm just going to be blunt here. When it comes to an individual relationship with God let it be. We all come from different backgrounds, bad childhoods, upbringings, we probably all come from a dark place in some point in our life each and everyone of us at some point are broken. I'm sure you mean well to help out your husband to get him on the right path but it's bad phychology. The reason I say this is because you're pitting yourself against your husband as the one who showing the right path vs. him being the dark place guy. This is your husband not a wild animal that needs to be on a leash and trained not to do bad. But that's my 2 cents worth I don't know all the story but i've been married before I can be honest my wife act like that I would think she lost her mind or something. I would only suggest a different approach more along the lines of being supportive of his christian walk or direction. Sometimes the best gospel we can witness is the closest one to us. Be someone that shows Christ show what love is be a walking testomony. Christianity is a seed that grows you can't force it on others to happen even your spouse. This is just from a guy's point of view been there. My ex done stuff like I didn't pray right or I believe wrong on doctrine stuff like I like joel osteen she thought he was a con man. Yes this can happen stuff like this is divisive.in marriage you really gotta be united despite differences. I'm sure there's more to the story I hope things will be better. I do mean well I hope this helps.

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #4 on: Sun Sep 30, 2018 - 21:16:52 »



Offline NorrinRadd

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #5 on: Mon Oct 01, 2018 - 08:10:02 »
I'm unmarried, so I will confine my remarks to one specific area:

I'm concerned about the "raging abusive behavior."

If you are in danger, get out, especially if there are children involved.

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #5 on: Mon Oct 01, 2018 - 08:10:02 »

Dulcie

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #6 on: Mon Oct 01, 2018 - 09:12:46 »
Welcome to Grace Centred, @MJ   ::smile::

Since your husband spoke of wanting to find God, then it would be educational and constructive to your marriage if he would agree to starting an Alpha course. Alpha courses originated in the UK, but now are worldwide and being run to cater for for various Christian denominations. See Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_course

First though and importantly it would be beneficial if both of you arrange a time to talk to your church minister or Pastor and take whatever guidance is offered. Usually a senior church elder is present where a married couple are going through a hard time. There may be subsequent meetings. If you sought the pastor where you first got baptised, this might be useful.

Your husband's passive-aggressive behaviour is unacceptable, therefore discussing your marital problems with a church leader would be for the best: for him and for you. There is no room for aggressive-manipulative controlling attitudes in any relationship because it simply is not Biblical in accordance to our Lord Jesus Christ's teachings. If, however, your husband does not curb his appalling behaviour towards you after your seeing a pastor and exhausting all other avenues, then I think you will have every right to walk out and leave your husband.

I hate to say this, but the cost of divorce is very expensive and you would need a lawyer, especially as your husband could turn even nastier. This is why you must for the sake of your marriage first seek spiritual counsel, and I promise to pray for you.


Offline faroukfarouk

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Re: kick the dust off my feet
« Reply #7 on: Mon Oct 01, 2018 - 12:08:07 »
MJ:

Sorry to read about your difficulties.

Your comments seem to set a great store on your marriage promises before God to your husband; and this is very good and very healthy. It is in the storms and trials of life that the grace of God becomes very precious.

Isaiah 48.10 says: 'I chosen thee in the furnace of affliction', and refers also to the spiritually refining process.

May the Lord strengthen you and uphold you. 1 Corinthians 7 is also a relevant passage.

 

     
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