Marriage Counseling- wife may not participate

[newcreation]

For the past 8 months, our marriage has been on a rollercoaster ride from extremely low points to some of the best times we've ever had.  It seemed to spring from some needs she had that weren't being met, which we are still trying to identify.  Part of the problem is that it's difficult for her to speak honestly with me about her faults because I judge and criticize her.  Over the past few months, she has had numerous indiscretions.  These never included physical affairs, but have included emotional and mental affairs. 

She now believes that perhaps she was never meant to be married.  I told her that to make this work again, I was willing to work on my faults, but I needed to know that her heart was 100% mine.  She is not sure she can commit to that and thinks that maybe I need to move on and find happiness, and she will, in turn, move on to find her freedom as a single person.

I'm now in the difficult position of trying to protect our 2 toddlers from the consequences if she decides that she cannot commit to us.  She has expressed hesitation to seek counseling, because she doesn't believe she can change who she is.  In her eyes, if she is naturally selfish and independent (her words), then we just need to move on.

My goal is to be as Christ-like as possible going forward.  Using the analogy of Christ as the groom and the church as a bride, I want to accept her unconditionally and change her through my love.  Any thoughts on other examples of how Christ has related to His bride?

I'm sorry if this is rambling and incoherent, but my brain is slowed by the turmoil in my heart.  Any thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated and humbly welcomed.

[sedux]

Dear Father,

I pray that you will bless this man who is willing to fight for his marriage in a way that is honoring to you Lord.  Please give him and his wife wisdom and strength to do your will.  Please surround them with loving people who will encourage them and help them through this difficult time in their lives.  I pray that you will be with their precious children, comforting them and protecting them from attacks of the enemy.  Please take this burden that is laying so heavily upon his mind and his heart...Lord, it is in our weakness that you are made strong - may you be their rock, their wonderful counselor and their strong tower.  In the strong name of Jesus I pray... Amen

[walker starr]

    If your wife refuses to participate in counciling , go alone.  You might very well learn things that will help.
                                                                                                                                                        GOD bless
                                                                                 

[BAH-BLAH]

Its a sign of the times to say this and it is horrible to have to........while you counsel, check legality etc. If things are as you say, and Ive no reason to doubt you, then you must protect you, and you must protect your rights with the kids.
As the man/dad.....you can be 110% "in the right", and lose your rights. Im not suggesting get mad, get scared, none of that, no revenge, no attack. Sadly though, ahould it go there, you will be looking out for yourself. Pray and seek Gods wisdom on how to do that and not at the same time be unloving to her. it is possible, because its sadly necessary these days

[graceforme]

I will be lifting you and your family up in prayer.  God knows your heart.  Seek Him first, and allow Him to guide you in this matter.

Many blessings to you.

[yesult]

For the past 8 months, our marriage has been on a rollercoaster ride from extremely low points to some of the best times we've ever had.  It seemed to spring from some needs she had that weren't being met, which we are still trying to identify.  Part of the problem is that it's difficult for her to speak honestly with me about her faults because I judge and criticize her.  Over the past few months, she has had numerous indiscretions.  These never included physical affairs, but have included emotional and mental affairs.  

She now believes that perhaps she was never meant to be married.  I told her that to make this work again, I was willing to work on my faults, but I needed to know that her heart was 100% mine.  She is not sure she can commit to that and thinks that maybe I need to move on and find happiness, and she will, in turn, move on to find her freedom as a single person.

I'm now in the difficult position of trying to protect our 2 toddlers from the consequences if she decides that she cannot commit to us.  She has expressed hesitation to seek counseling, because she doesn't believe she can change who she is.  In her eyes, if she is naturally selfish and independent (her words), then we just need to move on.

My goal is to be as Christ-like as possible going forward.  Using the analogy of Christ as the groom and the church as a bride, I want to accept her unconditionally and change her through my love.  Any thoughts on other examples of how Christ has related to His bride?

I'm sorry if this is rambling and incoherent, but my brain is slowed by the turmoil in my heart.  Any thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated and humbly welcomed.

Ouch, wow. I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. My prayers are with you. Sometimes a marriage can take a lot of work to get through all the issues, but both have to be willing to work on it.
The bible however does state that sexual sin is the only allowable biblical reason for divorce and remarriage, so if she does leave, you might want to give her space to find someone else before you start dating again.

Hope that helps. Prayer can make a big difference in a persons heart, so maybe if you look up the possibility of seeing a christian counsellor and letting your pastor or christians you trust know about the situation so they can start praying for you both and supporting you. And a professional counsellor might be able to give you more insights, even if your wife doesn't want to go.

So sorry. God bless