Author Topic: Marriage help  (Read 1327 times)

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Offline Regina123

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Marriage help
« on: Sun Feb 24, 2019 - 19:23:53 »
Been married for 27 years. Have a 25 year old and a 21 year old. My husband is a good provider but is terrible at emotional providing. He does not really know how to show me or the kids love. It is his way or no way or arguing. We both go to church and very active. When he is good he is good when he is bad he is bad. I just need help. Tired of walking on egg shells

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Marriage help
« on: Sun Feb 24, 2019 - 19:23:53 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #1 on: Sun Feb 24, 2019 - 23:49:45 »
Have you tried marriage counselling?
Have you read the book called The Five love languages? Its shows that we all have different ways of showing and receiving love. He may be showing you all love but not in the way you want it or need it for your particularly personality. Read it together. 

Think of the things he does for you and the children.
« Last Edit: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 04:22:16 by chosenone »

Offline Regina123

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #2 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 05:46:58 »
Yes we went to counseling twice. Good for a while  and then things would go back to same old ways. I have read books. He blames me for everything and he doesn't think he needs to change. I've tried everything to make him happy. Whatever I do is not good enough and he is the same way with the kids. I've prayed until I dont know how or what to pray anymore.
I am a stay at home wife. He fussed because I didn't work. Tried to work and he calls me home. He is very jealous. I have very few friends. None that I see or talk to regularly except the Hey how are you at church and I just smile and keep going.

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #2 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 05:46:58 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #3 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 07:05:10 »
Does he try and stop you having friends? Do you have family you see?

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #3 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 07:05:10 »

Offline Regina123

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #4 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 12:10:36 »
Yes and no. If they are his friends yes. He tells me to go do things and then when I do he gets mad. All I have is my mom and dad. Only child

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #4 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 12:10:36 »



Offline chosenone

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #5 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 12:53:58 »
It does sound as if he is very controlling and manipulative and emotionally abusive and that is very hard to live with.
Do you have any mature wise Christisn friends who you could talk to and pray with about this?

Have you even told your husband how deeply unhappy you are in this marriage?

Is he ok about you seeing your parents?

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #5 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 12:53:58 »

Offline Regina123

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #6 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 16:21:20 »
I really dont talk to anyone because I am embarrassed. 
No I have not told him that I am unhappy but I do tell  him how he hurts me with his words. He just says get your feelings off your shoulder.
He is ok at times others not. We live right next door to them as long as I go when he is ar work it is ok. When he is home and I go he calls and wants to know when I am coming home. He is very jealous of my relationship with my parents and my relationship with the kids.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #7 on: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 16:39:19 »
I really dont talk to anyone because I am embarrassed. 
No I have not told him that I am unhappy but I do tell  him how he hurts me with his words. He just says get your feelings off your shoulder.
He is ok at times others not. We live right next door to them as long as I go when he is ar work it is ok. When he is home and I go he calls and wants to know when I am coming home. He is very jealous of my relationship with my parents and my relationship with the kids.

I do think that you need to sit down and tell him how deeply unhappy you are and how desperate you have become. Why feel embarrassed about taking to someone, we are supposed to be a spiritual family and help and support each other. Do your parents know what is going on?

To be jealous of your own children is just weird. He has serious issues and is very controlling. He is also emotionally abusive.  Men like that will try and keep their wives away from anyone, its very unhealthy.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/friendship-20/201506/20-signs-your-partner-is-controlling
« Last Edit: Mon Feb 25, 2019 - 16:49:58 by chosenone »

Offline grams

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #8 on: Tue Apr 16, 2019 - 15:06:58 »


(((((Been married for 27 years. Have a 25 year old and a 21 year old. My husband is a good provider but is terrible at emotional providing. He does not really know how to show me or the kids love. It is his way or no way or arguing. We both go to church and very active. When he is good he is good when he is bad he is bad. I just need help. Tired of walking on egg shells)))))))))))

Why  not go talk to the minister of  the church !!

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Re: Marriage help
« Reply #8 on: Tue Apr 16, 2019 - 15:06:58 »

 

     
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