Marriage Seminar - The Head & the Heart - Part Four

[larry2]

Marriage Seminar - The Head & the Heart

by Gene Hawkins

Part Four of Six

~ transcribed and edited from CD's by larry2 ~

There's a time for the reasoning mind and we know that and Joseph went through that, but you see the response of Joseph was to simply get up and do what God said. The response of Zacharias was to question the Lord and His abilities; I'm an old man, stricken in years, and how am I going to know this? Well God says okay, Luke 1:20) "Behold, thou shalt be dumb, and not able to speak, until the day that these things shall be performed, (The reason) because thou believest not my words, which shall be fulfilled in their season," and this is one of the great heartaches and tremendous disadvantages of the reasoning mind is that a person is prevented simply from believing the words of God.

Well all of this came to pass and we'll not read the rest of this, but I want to notice this. Zacharias had a precedent for what God was doing. Abraham was one hundred years old and Sarah ninety when Isaac was born. Zacharias had a basis for believing that this could happen. What basis did Mary have? There had never been a virgin before that had a child and there hadn't been one since but you see, she responded with her heart and she had the right response. Zechariah responded with his head and he had the wrong response. Now once again keep in mind, and I hope this becomes very clear with these lessons. The husband thinks with his head; the wife thinks with the heart and there is no way under God's glorious heaven that you can say one is always right, and the other always wrong. It can not be done as we've seen it already that the heart is right and the head is wrong and we're going to find out on down here how that the heart has weaknesses. There are weaknesses in the head; I've been told that all my life, but there are also weaknesses in the heart.

Listen to the heart in (Genesis 30:1) "And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her     sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die." That is an emotional demand of the heart. There is no more logic to that than anything in the world and this is what we often hear concerning women. Well, God made them that way and it can be a tremendous advantage; it can also be a great disadvantage. This is an emotional demand that Jacob, you do it! She didn't stop to consider that that was beyond his control, and I've heard of some literal demands that women have made of men that are absolutely beyond their control. With all the reasoning and solution ability that they have, they couldn't come up and meet those demands at all. It was beyond Jacob's control, but Rachel was simply trying to fulfil the purpose for which she was created. God created her to have children and the only she is going to be fulfilled is to have them, so Jacob you get over here and you do your thing and you do it boy!

(Genesis 16:1-4) We mentioned Abraham last night, and we think of him as a real man of faith and spiritual leader, but as we saw he was a real peach of a guy when he stuck Sarah out there in harm's way. Well, what did Sarah do? (1) "Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. (2) And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. (3) And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife. (4) And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes." Again, what did Sarah do? She sent her husband to bed with another woman to satisfy her emotional desires of her own heart. Was that of God? No, scripture plainly tells us that Ishmael was that which was born of the flesh and so this heart decision that Sarah made was not right, and of course Abraham went along with it and you know the pain and the heartache that was caused to him and others even extends down to this day if you go over to the Middle East. It's still there as a result of that very ill advised decision.

How about Jacob? Notice his reasoning mind. (Genesis 30:2) "And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel:" and ladies I'll have to tell you that it's no stretch of the imagination you're going to get that kind of a reaction if you make an emotional demand of a husband that's beyond his control to fulfil. I dare say there'll be such a reaction, but it doesn't have to continue. Anyway, "And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God's stead?" With Jacob's reasoning mind, he knew that he didn't have power to make this woman fruitful on his own; he just could not do it. It is God (Who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb). Jacob knew that he didn't have any special powers to bring this to pass.

Then there's Job and his wife. (Job 2:9) "Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die." Notice that this is an emotional statement that is spoken on the spur of the moment when she has in fact boiled over. Now we must understand that there's been many down through the years that have condemned Mrs. Job and I am not one of them; I will defend her to the last breath. Mrs. Job was just as spiritual as Mr. Job, but Mrs. Job was a woman and filled with all the emotions of a woman. Mrs. Job had lost all of her children and for all practical purposes she just hated to see him there just sitting on the ash heap scraping himself in all of the pain and misery: Job, just get it over with. Now what I want to realize and what you ladies must realize at the same time is that Satan can do this with any of us; he used it with Peter and we see here that he used it with Job's wife if you'll notice what was said, just "Curse God and die." Do you know where that statement originated? It was with Satan. That was the purpose of the devil in the beginning. (Job 2:5) "But put forth thine hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse thee to thy face," and Job didn't. You see how Satan used Mrs. Job's good intentions to convey Satan's message to Job and women can be used that way today.

(Matthew 16:21-23) I see Peter the same way. Do you remember how Jesus announced He was going to the cross? (21) "From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day. (22) Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee. (23) But he turned, and said unto Peter, (What did Jesus tell him?) Get thee behind me, Satan." Satan used Peter's good intentions and interests in Jesus to pass on a message to Jesus, and sometimes Satan can use the good intentions of a woman to pass on a very destructive message to her husband or perhaps even her children.

So realize here what Job's wife went through is just simply an emotional statement; it was spoken on the spur of the moment when she simply boiled over. To her, that's as reasonable as anything in the world, get out of that suffering body, what are you accomplishing? She wants a way out right now and what did Job say because he's a man that still had his reasoning faculties. (Job 2:10) "He said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?" That has become such a source of comfort to so many down through the years. I'm so glad that Job had that reasoned in his mind as to why that this decision that you have made Mrs. Job is not the right one. "In all this did not Job sin with his lips."

We've had this last example of Job and his wife concerning this matter of the head and the heart and of how people think and they react from two different points of view. This next example is of Elkanah and Hannah. You'll find their story in 1st Samuel. This is another of the barren women in scripture and any time you find one of those you're going to find tremendous blessing and power that God displays. (1 Samuel 1:8) "Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?" They had gone up to Shiloh to offer the yearly sacrifice and if you read before this you'll find that Elkanah had another wife by the name of Peninnah and she had children which she reminded Hannah of constantly, and just put pressure after pressure on this poor woman. So we find Elkanah trying his best to comfort her and speaks here from a male point of view. He doesn't get it or understand and I'm sorry we men don't get it, but as wonderful as Elkanah may have been and I'm sure he was just reading what we have of him, there is no way a husband can ever take the place in the heart of a woman that a child can; they can never fulfil that spot. So for him to say am I not better to you than ten children? The answer is no Elkanah, you're not, you can't do it because it's beyond your reasoning or expertise.

(1 Samuel 1:11) "And she (Hannah) vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts." Now I want to notice and contrast the difference in the hearts here. As we've already seen that the heart is a tremendous advantage and we're going to see      that even more. We saw in Rachel the reflection of the heart in (Genesis 30:1), "Give me children, or else I die." Now here's another woman in exactly the same situation. "And she (Hannah) vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head. Now she was different in her heart attitude or heart seeking than Rachel was, but this statement that she made is still a very emotional rash statement. Lord if you'll give me this child, then I'll just give him back to you as a Nazarite. Do you realize the commitment she made on the spur of the moment? Think about it in your own lives ladies, would you be willing to give up this son you had waited for how many years? You would be willing for him to go away from you at a very young age and never to return?

We will study this a little bit later, but the book of Numbers (Numbers 30:3-15) actually allows for a woman to be forgiven for such a rash statement. God understood that women can make decisions on the spur of the moment that are going to cause them tremendous heartache later and God offered them a way out. (1 Samuel 1:12-18) "And it came to pass, as she continued praying before the LORD, that Eli marked her mouth." I want to notice another male perspective here. Eli the priest should have been a spiritual man here, but I've never been able to equate him as such though he was in a place of authority and Hannah recognized, observed and responded to that. (13) "Now Hannah, she spake in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard: therefore Eli (Going by what he could see) thought she had been drunken. (So we men can be very, very wrong in our thinking and Eli was) (14) And Eli said unto her, How long wilt thou be drunken? put away thy wine from thee. (15) "And Hannah answered and said, No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the LORD. (16) Count not thine handmaid for a daughter of Belial: for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief have I spoken hitherto. (17) Then Eli answered and said, Go in peace: and the God of Israel grant thee thy petition that thou hast asked of him. (18) And she said, Let thine handmaid find grace in thy sight.” 

Now notice what a believing heart will do. This woman had nothing to base this on except the promise of God and that is one of the greatest advantages that a woman has. She operates more with her heart that we men do with our head  and "So the woman went her way, and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad." It reflects a heart that is at peace with God, because at this point she knows in her heart and has already taken Eli's words at absolute face value much the same as Mary did. That's all she needs because the promise is good enough; for the man it's not always that way.

Let's go back to Elkanah. This was the next year and the child had been born and it was time to go up for the yearly sacrifice in Shiloh. (1 Samuel 1:21-23) “And the man Elkanah, and all his house, went up to offer unto the LORD the yearly sacrifice, and his vow. (22) But Hannah went not up; for she said unto her husband, I will not go up until the child be weaned, and then I will bring him, that he may appear before the LORD, and there abide for ever. (23) And Elkanah her husband said unto her, Do what seemeth thee good; tarry until thou have weaned him; (And you can underline it) only the LORD establish his word. So the woman abode, and gave her son suck until she weaned him." You see, Elkanah was a very godly man and from this reasoning male perspective as God had made him, he knew how serious it was if a woman made a vow and did not keep it. Elkanah is thinking about the consequences that are going to come to pass if his wife does not measure up to what she had said.

In Jesus' name - larry2