Hi Stacie, and welcome to the forum. You said last that you're often afraid to talk to your husband out of fear of his judgement, disappointment, and anger. Does he give you reason to fear that type of reaction? Or is it a personal fear of yours that stems from insecurity/low confidence/depression?
I ask because the reason why you have those fears is very important.
Sometimes I think something is going to make my husband upset and I've totally misjudged things, and he's not mad at all.
Tim said something in his reply to you that rang a bell with me. "the burden of responsibility for us and our children was upon me".
In other words, the Christian husband should take his family's happiness into account when he makes decisions that affect them all. Of course there may be an exception now and then, when he must do what is right and what is best for the family in the long run even if his wife is not happy with it initially.....but this is AFTER prayerful consideration and a calm, sit-down discussion with his wife, where she is encouraged to air her opinions and her input.
A Christian wife is supposed to submit to her Christian husband, but at the same time, a Christian husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church; cherish, protect, and even be willing to lay down his life for her.
Being fickle and constantly changing one's mind about things that are major life-altering events for one's family, without prior consultation and discussion, without considering emotional damage that this causes, is not cherishing or protecting.
That worries me. My husband and I have been married now for 24 years, and he is my best friend in the world....and I am his best friend. Friends are not afraid to have discussions, or air their grievances.
Any time he has put his foot down (like when I wanted to take a young girl into our home who was having a hard time.....and later found out she was just trying to use me, and was playing on my soft heart), it was for the benefit of all of us; him, me, and our children.
I can't imagine him making a big life-changing decision like changing our church home or moving without first discussing it fully with me, and asking for my input...and genuinely concerned with my opinion. Much less making those decisions then wavering back and forth.
Does he understand how this is affecting you? If you don't discuss it with him, how will he know?
Maybe he thinks you're fine with everything he's doing.
He sounds like he loves you, and you said you love him. The rest are just details, that you can work on.
If he loves you, he'll want you to be happy. He may think you're simply unhappy because you've gained some weight. Men are oblivious in a lot of ways. (sorry men
If you talk to him about this, remember to appeal to man-logic. Try to use as much logic as you can, and try to avoid emotional responses as much as possible. If he starts getting upset, smile and kiss him, and tell him you've got to do some laundry (or something like that), and you'll be back to finish the discussion later.
A kind word turns away wrath.
(And when you look into your man's eyes and smile and say you love him, it's like flicking a switch in his brain that diffuses irritation. It works! Really!) (Again, sorry men