MY HUSBAND CALLED ME UGLY

[jgilbert]

God bless you, pureNheart.  You husband is mentally and physically abusive, and God certainly isn't happy.  Keep your faith in Jesus!  Never stop reading the Word!    Pray, not only for your husband, but for the people of the church as well.  Your going to be in my prayers as well, bless your heart.      Jesus told us in John 6:63:
  "It is the Spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are Spirit and they are life."  
 Keep reading the Word and praying, let not your heart be troubled: you believe in God, believe also in Him!  

[HRoberson]

jerk, sorry, but b-hole jerk. Is that all a woman is worth is her looks? I am sure honey you are still a looker, he has just played mean, ugly tapes in your head. Time for this Loser to go.

I don't know the poster or the poster's husband.  It's hard to judge in a circumstance like this because I don't know the whole story, just what I've read in the post.

I would suggest rather than name calling, the poster needs to talk to someone at her congregation or a good Christian counselor.  PureNHeart doesn't need a pity party, or folks to tell her that her husband is a jerk.  She needs help, and unfortunately, other than pointing towards those that can help in the real world, you can't get your problems solved on a message board.

Please see another Christian counselor, one who is grounded in God's Word.

Amen.
A Christian counselor who is licensed in your state, has a graduate degree in counseling, and who also has some graduate work in Bible/theology and/or ministry.
......or if you don't want to go that route, a good bartender.

[son of God]

They're about the same, it appears.

[lightshineon]

Ms light:

It is very bad indeed, I know.

But I don't agree with urging angry reaction.

Rather, we all have a Godward duty, and in any case the Bible says in 1 Cor. 7 that the unbelieving husband can be won over by the wife's Godly example, instead of her anger and her reaction.

Ms light:

To say that what he is doing is somehow right? far from it! But we all need to keep our hearts in a Godward direction, praying for strength day by day, and not "stand on our rights" all the time, which is not healthy spiritually.

Take care.

In any case, ladies, let's deal with individual cases, whatever the individuals profess. The Lord sees the heart. (He sees mine, which is the biggest challenge.)

 Meaning Mr. F, she takes abuse in the name of Jesus?

 Sorry, it is not about her and her rights, it is about him abusing her, and acting holy. Jesus did not die for us to be captive to the devil. 

 Mr. f does this mean the hypocrite husband as well? He is not an unbeliever.

[Daddy Long Legs]

He says that he is a Christian and has been born again.  He's a deacon in our church and is well respected.  Everywhere he goes, people always ask him is he is a minister. 

Then he should know that as men of God we are called to reflect the love for our wives as Jesus loves the church.  It is in the Bible and does not take a lot of insight to understand.  While Jesus may speak the truth to us, he does so only in love and does not tear us down with His correction (see the woman at the well).  Sounds as though some priorities need to be ordered in his life.

[chosenone]

jerk, sorry, but b-hole jerk. Is that all a woman is worth is her looks? I am sure honey you are still a looker, he has just played mean, ugly tapes in your head. Time for this Loser to go.

  AMEN What an insensitive pratt. This man does not deserve you. He may claim to be a Christian but he has BIG problems . A Christian does NOT treat anyone this way, let alone their wife. It is disgusting. I would have been out the door ages ago. if he is both physically and emotionally abusive then please leave him. Maybe he is trying to drive you out, who knows.
Dont stay in the same house as such an evil man.
have you got any close female ladies who you could talk to and pray with? Your church desperately needs to knwo what is going on. I certainly wouldnt want an elder in my church who is like him.  It will affect the church spiritually.

[chosenone]

Ms light:

To say that what he is doing is somehow right? far from it! But we all need to keep our hearts in a Godward direction, praying for strength day by day, and not "stand on our rights" all the time, which is not healthy spiritually.

Take care.

In any case, ladies, let's deal with individual cases, whatever the individuals profess. The Lord sees the heart. (He sees mine, which is the biggest challenge.)

 Meaning Mr. F, she takes abuse in the name of Jesus?

 Yes but God does NOT want her to stay with such an evil and cruel man. He needs to be challenged by the other elders and held accountable for his terrible hehaviour.She needs to seperate unitl this has happened and if he never changes then she needs to be apart permanently. This makes me actually want to puke this this lovely daughter of the King is treated in such an appalling way.
It makes me want to cry for her , just as Jesus is crying for her.
God Bless you my dear, PLEASE think and pray about seperating. God loves you too much to want you to suffer this terrible abuse.YOU are NOT being godly by staying, you are needing to leave for your own sanity.

[chosenone]

Ms light:

It is very bad indeed, I know.

But I don't agree with urging angry reaction.

Rather, we all have a Godward duty, and in any case the Bible says in 1 Cor. 7 that the unbelieving husband can be won over by the wife's Godly example, instead of her anger and her reaction.

Ms light:

To say that what he is doing is somehow right? far from it! But we all need to keep our hearts in a Godward direction, praying for strength day by day, and not "stand on our rights" all the time, which is not healthy spiritually.

Take care.

In any case, ladies, let's deal with individual cases, whatever the individuals profess. The Lord sees the heart. (He sees mine, which is the biggest challenge.)

 Meaning Mr. F, she takes abuse in the name of Jesus?

 Sorry, it is not about her and her rights, it is about him abusing her, and acting holy. Jesus did not die for us to be captive to the devil.  

FAROUK
 God deos NOT want any of His precious children to stay in a seriously abusive situation, NO MATTER WHAT.   She doesnt need people like you suggesting that she stays to get hit and abused and spoken to in such an evil way.It is NOT godly to be used like this. It is the right thing to leave, until such time that he agrees to stop.If I were her, I would never want to be anywhere near him ever again, he is an evil man.

[chosenone]

jerk, sorry, but b-hole jerk. Is that all a woman is worth is her looks? I am sure honey you are still a looker, he has just played mean, ugly tapes in your head. Time for this Loser to go.

I don't know the poster or the poster's husband.  It's hard to judge in a circumstance like this because I don't know the whole story, just what I've read in the post.

I would suggest rather than name calling, the poster needs to talk to someone at her congregation or a good Christian counselor.  PureNHeart doesn't need a pity party, or folks to tell her that her husband is a jerk.  She needs help, and unfortunately, other than pointing towards those that can help in the real world, you can't get your problems solved on a message board.

Please see another Christian counselor, one who is grounded in God's Word.

  How much more information do you need? He spits at her, knocks her down, locks her out, calls her ugly, criticises her body, tells her that when they get physical he thinks of other women, tells her that she is repulsive to others and on and on..  She needs to leave FIRST and THEN see a good counsellor for herself. She then needs to decide whether she even wants to see him again, and if she does then HE TOO needs to have a LOT of counselling to deal with his many many issues. Boy does he need it.

[chosenone]

Thank you lightsineon.

No, he isn't a Muslim.  He says that he is saved.  He reads his Bible daily, knows quite a bit of the Word, and is highly respected in our church as a Deacon.  They've even considered asking him to teach our Bible Class until we get another pastor.

I know that The Lord knows how much that we can bear.  But, somtimes I feel as if I'm gonna lose it.

Please pray for my strength.

You do need strength yes, strength to get out of there before he destroys you completely..

[chosenone]

Ms light:

It is very bad indeed, I know.

But I don't agree with urging angry reaction.

Rather, we all have a Godward duty, and in any case the Bible says in 1 Cor. 7 that the unbelieving husband can be won over by the wife's Godly example, instead of her anger and her reaction.

Ms light:

To say that what he is doing is somehow right? far from it! But we all need to keep our hearts in a Godward direction, praying for strength day by day, and not "stand on our rights" all the time, which is not healthy spiritually.

Take care.

In any case, ladies, let's deal with individual cases, whatever the individuals profess. The Lord sees the heart. (He sees mine, which is the biggest challenge.)

 Meaning Mr. F, she takes abuse in the name of Jesus?

 Sorry, it is not about her and her rights, it is about him abusing her, and acting holy. Jesus did not die for us to be captive to the devil. 

  farouk, That verse appies to an unbelieving husband and this man claims to be a Christian. BIG difference.Also I am sure that verse isnt suggesting that any man or women should have to put up with serious and awful abuse.

[chosenone]

if any of you guys who have replied to this would be happy for one of your own precious daughters to stay with a man who is treating them this way, then fine. As for me, if it were one of my 2 precious daughters, I would be telling her to leave NOW.
If I feel this way, how much more will God be feeling this way about her, one if His very precious and valuable daughters.
There are some things that are actually more important than staying in a marriage.

[Mac]

He reads his Bible daily, knows quite a bit of the Word, and is highly respected in our church as a Deacon. 

Well, I guess he skipped the part of the bible that instructs us husbands how to live and how to treat our wives. I am so sorry.

The part of being a Deacon isn't surprising. I have seen this myself. Some people are good at hiding it. Some aren't. This is another area, I feel, that Christans have been apathetic... We see husbands mentally abusing their wives, but we do nothing. They walk the isles of the church as a deacon. It is really disgusting.

I know that The Lord knows how much that we can bear.  But, somtimes I feel as if I'm gonna lose it.

Please pray for my strength.

You continue to live your life for the Lord. Lay your marriage at the feet of Jesus. Pray for the Lord to have a "moment" with your husband. He is wrong in his behavior, but you should continue to pray for him.

Find a good counseling service. Go to another local church. They will help you.

[pureNheart]

The problem is that I can't leave right now.  I don't have any family and the few friends that I do have don't have any room.

Even though this has been such a hard cross to bear, miraculously, I know The Father will help me to bear it, until it's over.

But, sometimes, I just feel so, so very sad.  

I am incredibly blessed to have discovered this forum.  In the past,  I have shared some events pertaining to my marriage
and other things that have happened to me on other forums.  Some of the repliers suggested that I was a "troll" for making up such stories.  They couldn't believe that anyone would be experiencing what I had endured.  They complained to the Administrator and I was banned from the forum!  It made me laugh.

Believe me, I'm not perfect, I have many faults of my own.  But, I would never do to anyone, especially my husband, the things that he has done  to me.

[chosenone]

The problem is that I can't leave right now.  I don't have any family and the few friends that I do have don't have any room.

Even though this has been such a hard cross to bear, miraculously, I know The Father will help me to bear it, until it's over.

But, sometimes, I just feel so, so very sad. 

I am incredibly blessed to have discovered this forum.  In the past,  I have shared some events pertaining to my marriage
and other things that have happened to me on other forums.  Some of the repliers suggested that I was a "troll" for making up such stories.  They couldn't believe that anyone would be experiencing what I had edured.  They complained to the Administrator and I was banned from the forum!  It made me laugh.

Believe me, I'm not perfect, I have many faults of my own.  But, I would never do to anyone, especially my husband, the things that he has done  to me.

 

pray for God to open a door so that you can leave home and get away from this man.
Some of us here have either seen or expeienced serious abuse either to us or our childen so we can believe anything. Please dont think that God would want you to carry on suffering this. if this man doesnt see the light then it wont end until you do something about it. No loving Father would want His daughter to suffer what you are. He will give you a way out if you decide that you cant take any more.If you for whatever reason think that Gods will is for you to stay then you will never get away.