My wife & I have been married for almost 16 years, both our 2nd marriage. A few years ago, she began talking about how her emotions were damaged, and that we should separate.
My own experience with my prior divorce has taught me that separation often invariably leads to divorce, since the absence of conflict (due to the separation) makes things more peaceful, and thereby can remove the incentive to get together again, since the problems will simply reappear. (that was just a commentary about separation) The fact is, we don't have much conflict between us.
I have seen a distance growing between us in a number of areas - she often spends half the night or more on the couch, if not the entire night. I have many, many times told her that I wanted her to be upstairs with me, (and that I would abstain from sex if she wanted) - but that usually isnt' the problem. She has convinced herself that I really don't love her, although I know that I do.
About a year ago she said that come June (2015) I would have to move out, but it never happened. I often feel that she wants my "permission" to divorce, to let her go as it were. But I already have had one unbiblical divorce, and have no intention EVER of doing that again. Just this evening (Sept 9, 2016) she brought it up again, fairly emphatically. She wants to "test" our relationship by having us live a year apart, to "see if its real" - "to see if I really care" - etc.
She has said that I will feel so free that I will eagerly embrace the dating world again. Let me state up front that I am 61 years old, and have NO DESIRE AT ALL to start over again. I love her dearly, and truly enjoy her company. Yes, early on in our marriage I took things for granted, but I stopped doing that a long time ago.
Perhaps I should relate a story to give an example of how my wife thinks. One time, (over 10 years ago) we went to the beach. I left something at the car, and left to go get it, while she remained on the blanket. While walking, I became distracted by a woman in a bikini, and almost walked into a lifeguard chair. I didn't realize that she had seen this happen.
When I returned to our blanket, she waited a few minutes, and then told me that she could find the woman for me, and introduce me, since I was obviously attracted to her. She became quite insistent with this. We left to go home soon after, and for over ten years after that incident, she refused to go to the beach with me again - citing what happened several times to myself, and others. It was unbelievable!
Finally, this year, 2016 - some twelve years after it happened, we went to the beach together again for the first time. Oh - I didn't go to the beach alone, as I had no desire to do so, so I didn't go during that entire time either. My point here is that she has a strong tendency to hold on to things, especially negative ones...