Need Advice

[GodsPeace]

From college and FaceBook....of course....I am hearing more and more of how FB is ruining marriages

[Thankfulldad]

From college and FaceBook....of course....I am hearing more and more of how FB is ruining marriages

Brother...I am not sure of your state of mind right now; I know how frustrating this can be. 

However, we are to love our wife as Christ loved His church; so...what is love?

1Corinthians 13:4-7...Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Now that is a mouth full; given your circumstances...love always protects, and does not delight in evil, and is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. 

God calls husbands to protect their wife; from evil...from sin...from (in this case) another man!

With patience, humility, kindness...yet with conviction, protection, hope and faith...approach her, tell her you love her, want to protect her...and spill the beans with all you know.  Truth will always set us free...

If you let this go...you are simply allowing a trap in which she will be caught, convicted and sentenced to a divorce...is that what you want?

[GodsPeace]

That's great feedback Thankfuldad!  You are right about my state of mind and I am being a bit prideful as I have know problem with getting the attention of women, I have lost focus on understanding the full spectrum of protecting my wife...you have really given me something to think about...I appreciate the love!! 

[MeMyself]

I agree with Thankful...I thought she knew you knew this stuff already.

Confess to her that you know...and that you want to go with her to be the way of escape God provides for her in the face of possible temptation to see the other man.

[rickwallace21]

This is never an easy situation. I will move in reverse in responding. First and foremost, do not make any rash decisions; decisions driven by the pain and anger you may be feeling right now. Even with infidelity being in the picture, divorce is a major step and truly has to be the last resort.

As for as how to deal with your wife planning to take this trip. You drive out darkness with light and the Bible says that the truth is life (light). You must gather enough evidence of this trip to the point that your wife cannot refute it and force her to face the truth of her infidelity. I use the word infidelity because the deception involved constitutes infidelity.

Your wife has to be willing to acknowledge the extent of her actions and accept them for what they are; a violation of her marital vows. She then must be willing to work on rectifying the situation, beginning with cutting all ties with this person.

I pray that this helps

[happypromises]

Hi Godspeace
I think there may be more to this story than you have mentioned so far?  It seems strange that you would just let her go and then say you will serve her divorce papers, upon her return.    Do you want to be with her still?  Is this something she has done before?   If you want to be with her, then please don't play games - confront her and tell her you know and give her a choice.  If she wants to save your marriage, she needs to cut off all ties and commit to you - or she chooses him, but she cannot have both.   

But it's real important that you don't play games with this one.  In a sense (I don't mean this harshly) coming on here and telling us about it, without confronting her, is a little sneaky too - not on the same level of what she is doing, but it is not healthy or wise.   

Pray for wisdom and guidance...but I honestly don't think you should sit by idly while the trip happens. 
Prayer for you!