Please help - emotional affair!

[Tianna]

Thank you - I haven't read those books before - will check if our bookshops have got.

Thank you for the prayers....It will be a long day but I am willing to do it.

[yesult]

Once you've cut this guy off, don't forget to forgive yourself. Also, you might want to forgive all those in your life that influenced you enough to end up in a marriage like this. Forgiving everyone all around can be very helpful, because sometimes our marriages can actually be a natural consequnce of our backgrounds and learned relationship patterns although we don't realise that at the time.

praying for you as well

[Tianna]

Yesterday I ended things with him - I wrote him an email and explained that I wanted out and wanted no further communication with him. I have done this before but went back after receiving email after email so this time around I have blocked his emails. I no longer have his phone numbers so I know I won't be tempted to call him - but its sooo difficult! Even though I know I've blocked the emails I keep checking my inbox hoping to get an email from him. This time around though I'm going to stick to my resolution and I'm going to stick it through. I have been praying that prayer that God makes him ugly to me and vice versa. I haven't found the books yet but will check properly over the weekend. I haven't gone for counselling yet but I was thinking of going to see the Pastor who married us? He's the only person I can think of that we can go and see.

As for my husband I'll take it one day at a time and see how it goes.

[chosenone]

Is there any way of blocking his e-mails from even coming into your in box?
You REALLY are doing the right thing. After all he is also being unfaithful to his wife isnt he.
God will bless you for this I know.

[Tianna]

Thanks for your support - you guys are the only ones I can speak to because no-one else knows what I'm going through.

I use gmail so I've filtered his emails so that they will be deleted and sent to spam. Not sure if there's a way on gmail I can completely block the emails from coming into my inbox?

[chosenone]

Thanks for your support - you guys are the only ones I can speak to because no-one else knows what I'm going through.

I use gmail so I've filtered his emails so that they will be deleted and sent to spam. Not sure if there's a way on gmail I can completely block the emails from coming into my inbox?

 NO I dont know but may be someone else here can help with that. If he wont take no for an answer and keeps trying to contact you, maybe a threat to tell his wife may do the trick?

[phoebe]

Thanks for your support - you guys are the only ones I can speak to because no-one else knows what I'm going through.

I use gmail so I've filtered his emails so that they will be deleted and sent to spam. Not sure if there's a way on gmail I can completely block the emails from coming into my inbox?

Even if you can't block them, you can choose to not open them.  The power for release, freedom and forgiveness is in the choosing.

[yesult]

wow, congratulations on such self control. Good for you, hang in there  

I think threatening to tell his wife might be a good idea as well. (but only if you think you can do it without being tempted and follow it through if need be.)

[lightshineon]

 Hi you can get a new email, and not give it to him.

[phoebe]

...

I think threatening to tell his wife might be a good idea as well. (but only if you think you can do it without being tempted and follow it through if need be.)

No.  Let God deal with him.  Telling is wife seems pretty childish.  Threatening to might work, but if it doesn't and he calls your bluff you would have to tell her.  Don't go there.  That's a whole different kind of agony for you if she doesn't already know - which she very well may, and he may not know that she knows.

[lightshineon]

...

I think threatening to tell his wife might be a good idea as well. (but only if you think you can do it without being tempted and follow it through if need be.)

No.  Let God deal with him.  Telling is wife seems pretty childish.  Threatening to might work, but if it doesn't and he calls your bluff you would have to tell her.  Don't go there.  That's a whole different kind of agony for you if she doesn't already know - which she very well may, and he may not know that she knows.

 Hi, I do not see it as childish, but, a little self-centered, why hurt her, let the Lord reveal it to her. Why would that be you motivation to tell her, maybe you should check your heart. I hope no offense is taken, we are all flawed humans, and sometimes our motivations are not pure.

[chosenone]

...

I think threatening to tell his wife might be a good idea as well. (but only if you think you can do it without being tempted and follow it through if need be.)

No.  Let God deal with him.  Telling is wife seems pretty childish.  Threatening to might work, but if it doesn't and he calls your bluff you would have to tell her.  Don't go there.  That's a whole different kind of agony for you if she doesn't already know - which she very well may, and he may not know that she knows.

 Hi, I do not see it as childish, but, a little self-centered, why hurt her, let the Lord reveal it to her. Why would that be you motivation to tell her, maybe you should check your heart. I hope no offense is taken, we are all flawed humans, and sometimes our motivations are not pure.

I never suggested that she actually tells his wife, just that if he didn't leave her alone, she threatened to do so.
However, if he were my husband I would definitely want to know if he had been carrying on this emotional affair with another woman and I would actually be grateful to anyone who told me. Lies and secrets and deception should have no place in a marriage.

[lightshineon]

Hi Chosen, sorry thought this is what the poster wanted I misunderstood. I believe if this young lady thought about the wife in loving compassionate terms, maybe she would think twice. God will let her find out, bless her heart, that is going to have to hurt her.

[Tianna]

Thanks again for your advice. Well its been a few days and I have survived - I will continue to pray for stregnth and self control. Its so difficult though, very difficult especially when my husband is all quiet on me - all I want to do is send him an email.

Today I am starting the love dare challenge thats taught in Fireproof your marriage and I'm hoping it will help me....

[chosenone]

Tianna
Well done you are doing really well. If you feel tempted and lonely go to God and tell Him everything.