I feel there is strong chance my marriage will end. Im sad about it, but i feel it is necessary. I will try to keep this short as possible.
Im married with 4 kids, we have been married for 9 years. About 4 1/2years ago, we moved out of state for a new job for myself. At the time of the move we had 2 kids, ages 3 & 5. Everythg was good. We both had good jobs making more money than ever before. We considered ourself to be christians, but had things to work on to develop a closer relationship in Christ. As time went on in the new state, my husband and i stopped going to church as much as we should. Then my husband stopped going totally. Then, I got pregant with our 3rd. He was totally upset. Asked me to abort, i refused. Then i noticed the late nites etc...i asked over and over what was going on. He denied any wrong doing. So, 1.5 years after our 3rd child, i became pregnant again. Still upset, so his pattern of behavior increased. We were so distant. He refused counseling.
So, about 6 months ago i found out about an affair, which resulted in the laddy getting pregnant. He acknowleged that it was his child. Words cant explain how hurt i felt. I immediately went to christian counseling. Which helped me, along with prayer, and support from family.
My husband stated it was never really a relationship. That he loved me and has and still is begging for forgiveness. He wont move out of the home like i asked him tooo. He agreed to counseling. I let him go one time, but said after that i didnt want him too go. I just felt so ashamed at the thought of trying to stay in the marriage. I felt he assumed that,since i agreed to counselin to eventually work on things in the future. I didnt want him too assume that.
He has stopped going out, spending, and has been more of a help with our kids. I just cant get over the sitaution. So im in the process of trying to move out with my kids...I still love him with all my heart. Most days im depressed, but pray to hold it together for my kids. I feel so alone now. I dont have family near by to help take my mind off things. Your advice and prayers are greatly appreciated. Thank you