I know the right answers; I know Jesus' love is so much greater and was so much more painful than something like this... But I have never been so hurt. I am lost...
My Brother, there's nothing. NOTHING a woman can say to her husband that hurts worse than this. Your counselor didn't offer you much help for that, either.
When a guy cuts off your arm, it hurts. It hurts then, it hurts later, it hurts after the surgery, it hurts as the wound heals, and even the portion of your arm which is gone hurts. The bone hurts. The soft tissues hurt. The incision hurts, the stitches hurt, the bandage hurts.
It doesn't matter how much you "forgive" that guy, your arm still hurts.
It doesn't matter how much "pride" you have, your arm still hurts.
It doesn't matter how much you "feel superior" to that guy. It still hurts.
It doesn't matter how much you know about Jesus and His pain, or His love. Your arm still hurts.
It doesn't matter how many "answers" you know. Your arm still hurts.
It doesn't matter how "mature" you are. Your arm still hurts.
It doesn't matter how you "give it to God". It still hurts.
And, the FACT is, that it will hurt for a long time to come. I'm very sorry. You do not deserve to be hurt like this by your wife. Her
action in saying this to you is despicable.
Please, do not think that you can "just dismiss" this. You can't. It won't go away. Ever. No matter haw much you "forgive", "swallow pride", "know Jesus", "grow", "get counseling", "pray", "tithe", "fast", or attend church suppers, your arm won't grow back, neither will it not hurt.
The FACT is, you did not choose the size of your penis, any more than you chose your height or your eye color or the shape of your toenails. No more than you could regrow one of your amputated arms.
Is it worth me trying to figure this thing out, even though I see no hope for our sexual relationship at all!
My opinion is no.
Unfortunately, I agree with you that there is no hope for a satisfying sexual relationship for you. Not after this. Your wife has
delivered a death blow to that. You will never feel like having intercourse with her again.
Sadly, I say this from experience. My marriage stayed together, in the sense that we lived in the same house. But sex was quite over for the entire remaining duration of it. I tried giving her "duty sex" which was as much fun for me as a cold enema.
I would become about half erect and when it came time for intromission, it would become completely flaccid.