Questions concerning divorce

[Hehealedme]

Both our names were on the title to the house. What happened is that for that first week and a half after they left, he continually hassled me for us to use a mediator...but I know absolutely nothing about my rights or the laws, and he didn't want me to get a lawyer!...he wanted us to have one of those beautiful divorce settlements, all wrapped up with coated candy on top, with everything going only the way he wanted it!...he was driving me litterally insane and I finally broke down and called an ambulance that early morning, I really thought that I was going out of my mind!...I had horrific nightmares that night...there was a real spiritual battle going on in my head, in my mind, in my very soul!...

I can't even say why because I don't know why, I did not want to call the police, I was too afraid to do so, I was such a mess, I felt like I was completely alone, I was in a total state of shock...This will surely sound strange, but I am convinced that the Holy Spirit clearly told me to get out of the house. And the only way to do this was to call an ambulance!..So I did!....I was Really thinking at first that I was going out of my mind...I have never in my life acted this way....The only important thing I could think of to bring with me other than the content that was in my purse and my keys, was my Bible!...I would not depart from my Bible the whole time I was in that hospital...

After I came out of the hospital, I was served his divorce papers...we were to appear in court a month later...the judge, it was a man, refused his request of selling the house without my consentment...then a few months later, I did get to buy his share of the house...I am now the only owner of it...


I do try to keep a good communication as much as possible with my lawyer. I am not always in full agreement with the way he does things though, probably due to my lack of understanding how the laws work, but I have to trust that the Lord will help him with this....I am praying that the judge (a lady this time. She is apparently taking care of our case for now on, the one we went to see recently), will see the truth in this whole mess...

Yes, I am definitely continuing to pray and putting my trust and faith in God...


I do not believe in coincidences!....I used to in the past, but not anymore....too many things have happened these last few years that have helped me get to this conclusion...

[Hehealedme]

If anyone cares to know, this is the latest update...

To this day, I am still waiting for a new date from the judge for us to reappear in court. Since we went to court in May, my husband has been having some of my documents analyzed in hopes of finding an open door for his own benefits...my lawyer has asked me another check to pay for his services for my case...

Everybody wants money to put in their own pocket...

I haven't heard a word from my daughter since last July...

[cristals mama]

If anyone cares to know, this is the latest update...

To this day, I am still waiting for a new date from the judge for us to reappear in court. Since we went to court in May, my husband has been having some of my documents analyzed in hopes of finding an open door for his own benefits...my lawyer has asked me another check to pay for his services for my case...

Everybody wants money to put in their own pocket...

I haven't heard a word from my daughter since last July...

I am so sorry for what you are going through, I have my own thing going on and but although I am in a different type of situation I know how difficult things can be especially when one spouse is playing games.  If you don't mind my asking how old is your daughter?  I will pray for you!

[Hehealedme]

If you don't mind my asking how old is your daughter?

She is now 17 years old as of July. She was 14 when she left with my husband and his girlfriend...I did have a nice conversation with my daughter about two weeks ago and it went fairly well, we didn't argue at all and she now says that she understands me a little more...she didn't say anything about coming back though...:(

I can't understand why the divorce hasn't been finalized yet, it has been dragging on for over two years...I contacted my lawyer today to remind him that the judge must have had her vacation and gone back to work by now...

I will pray for you!

Thank you...

[Hehealedme]

My daughter wants to see me - what I will say next is sooooooo wonderful and sooooo frightening at the same time!!! - she wants to see my side of the family... her grand-parents and aunts and uncles at Christmas!!!...I think that she has come to her senses at last!!!!!!!!!!!!...After two years and six months of waiting for this!!!!!!!!...
I just hope and pray that she won't change her mind!!!...
Should I tell my parents about this or wait a little?!??...they have been sadly saying that they don't have a grand-daughter anymore for the last two years and a half...I wouldn't want them to be disappointed, I am afraid that it would kill them if she changed her mind...
She wants me to meet her boyfriend and her boyfriend wants to meet me as well...I am afraid...I am sooooo afraid that if he decides that he doesn't like me, that I would lose my daughter again...
I know that I shouldn't be afraid of a teenage boy but I am!!!!!...

[Thunder]

I am so happy for you!  This is exciting news!

I would wait to tell people, or I would probably say "she might" or something so they don't get their hopes up.  But I think in our children is an innate need for their mother, that is what will ultimately succeed.

Keep us posted!

[Hehealedme]

 

AFTER WAITING CLOSE TO A YEAR,
I NOW HAVE A DATE TO REAPPEAR IN COURT

FEBRUARY 27th
Two weeks from today


PLEASE PLEASE
PRAY FOR ME THAT IT WILL TURN OUT FOR THE BEST!...

[chosenone]

AFTER WAITING CLOSE TO A YEAR,
I NOW HAVE A DATE TO REAPPEAR IN COURT

FEBRUARY 27th
Two weeks from today


PLEASE PLEASE
PRAY FOR ME THAT IT WILL TURN OUT FOR THE BEST!...

At last, you hAve waited a long time. I pray for you hehealedme, that you will be given favour with the judges and that all will be as God wants.

[Hehealedme]

At last, you hAve waited a long time. I pray for you hehealedme, that you will be given favour with the judges and that all will be as God wants

.


And what is it exactly that I have waited a long time for ? ? ?...

to get that paper that says that my marriage is now over?...

to finally get to say 'for years I knew this marriage wasn't going to last!' ?...

to finally say, 'I knew he didn't love me, and I now proved it' ?...

or perhaps to say 'alright, I can now move on' ?...

or 'hurray I am single again' ?...


I just finished watching this movie called ''Keeping the faith''...it is a comedy about two boys and a girl, they are best friends...the two boys reunite after many years spent apart from the girl...one of the boys turned out to be a Catholic priest. The other boy  turned out to be a Rabbi, and the girl now a woman falls in love with the Rabbi but the Catholic priest falls in love with that woman...............a stupid comedy...........the Rabbi lies to his best friend the Catholic priest and to his congregation, he is in love with the girl (now woman)..........but brakes up with her because she is not Jewish and they are both heartbroken......no one knows before the ending of the movie that the girl ends up getting to be Jewish or something.........dumb movie story line but it turns out for the best in the end.....the rabbi gets the girl and the Catholic priest is happy for the both of them.........I have no idea why I am describing this stupid movie................... somewhere in the movie, there is this conversation between the Catholic priest and a bartender of a bar...it goes like this:

 * Bartender........ ** Catholic priest


 * Let me get this straight...I am talking to a priest who went on a bender because his best friend a rabbi stole his girl...


 ** Right...


 * Thank you...I want to thank you for telling me this story...


 * Why?...


 ** Because I can now retire...


 * You have to give me advice. That's what this is supposed to be about...


 ** Oh God!...what do I know?...I'm a half Punjabi Sikh, one quarter Tamil separatist. My sister's married a Jewish doctor from New Jersey, and our other grandmother was an Irish nun who left me this bar which is a very long story.


 * You're a Sikh Catholic Muslim with Jewish in-Laws?


 ** Yes yes...it gets very complicated...I'm reading Dianetics.


 * I don't blame you...I thank you for listening to me ...I feel like I should ask for my penance...


 * I don't do penance...I do shots...



Both of them start laughing and keep on drinking...






I have had a few boyfriends in my life before I met my husband. I have had sex with each and everyone of them, one after the other in a period of ten years, hoping that I would finally find the right guy that would love me and that I would love too soooo deeply that we would marry, have kids and live happily ever after.................HU GE MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!........that Does NOT Work!!!!!!!!...Dont ever do it that way!!!!!!!!................you will only be deceived!!!!!!!!.........all I wanted was to be loved by somebody that I could love back!!...have a great life together and both live to be 90 years old at least....was I being selfish?.......has any of these guys ever loved me ? ? ?......... ..........WHAT IS GOD'S WILL FOR MY LIFE ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?........................ ......

        


Since 2004 I have changed...I have tried to live by faith, I have repented, I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour I live the best way I possibl y can and it isn't enough!!!!!!!...my boss even told me yesterday that I live like a saint!...
WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME GOD ? ? ? ? ?


               





I know I know...millions of people have got it worse than I do....... 

[BondServant]

hehealedme, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you are going through.  I am so sorry...please know it does get better, God does heal, and He is watching out for you, holding you in His arms as we speak.  It is difficult to know He is there in the midst of the storm, but I know from experience that He is.  I will pray that He brings you, peace, healing, and comfort.

Here is a hug to help you feel better:   

In Christ,
KP

[Hehealedme]

There was a missunderstanding about the court date...it was today the 24th, and not Friday the 27th...

So we went to court this morning and it is done...I showed the pictures to the judge like I promised that I would back in May of last year. Except that my husband and his lawyer weren't expecting this this morning...both of us went to sit on the bench to go through the interrogation, he went first and then my turn came up and we are now waiting for the judge's decision which we might get at the end of the week...

It is very clear that my husband wasn't so much in pain on June 24th of 2005...my husband had been trying to get a medical pension from the army since 1999...and since 2002 or was it 2003, I don't remember the year exactly, he had been declared unable to fulfill his physical military duties such as long walks or stand on parades. In other words, he fooled the system with his lying...but pictures do not lie...

The problem is that my husband said that I could have changed the date on those pictures......but I honestly, truthfully and sincerely did not do such a thing...and he knows that!...I was questionned about that by his lawyer, he wanted some proof that the date was exact...but I don't have the proof anymore. I still have the camera that I had bought just a few days earlier in June 2005 because I was going to a certain concert that coming weekend with a few lady friends but the little disc inside of my camera that stored all my pictures wasn't working properly anymore so I gave it to my father last year. He might have deleted all the pictures from that disc, that I don't know, maybe I should ask him...and now I only have the pictures stored in my computer with the original date on them...I told the judge that I can only give my word that I tell the truth...I am trusting God and heartfully praying that He will show the judge that I told the truth about this matter this morning...  
 




ps: When I came back home from court this afternoon, my boss had left me a message on my answering machine for me to call her back. She told me some very sad news...one of the residents, the man that calls me his ''little princess'' and ''the one that will cure me'' died this morning of a heart attack...yesterday evening, the girl that was working didn't do her job properly. She left him unattended in his bed...she should have called my boss to tell her about his sudden change yesterday evening but she didn't...he never missed a meal before even when he wasn't feeling good, he was obviously wasn't acting the way he normally did...this sudden heart attack could have been prevented...I will dearly miss this old man, he was such a sweetheart...

[FoC]

Matthew 5:31
[ Divorce ] "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'


Lets say that a man has asked his wife for a divorce...she absolutely does not agree to this,  but knows that she had to accept his decision since he won't change his mind. He then went his own way and has been living with another woman ever since...

Now lets say that he has also sent his wife some divorce papers a few weeks after having left his wife. Among other things, it was also written that exactly a year after the day he has left his wife, they would then be automatically divorced...those are just papers that his lawyer has sent her...this was not a judge's decision...

Since the husband has done nothing considered legal according to the law to finalize the divorce after the first year has passed, the wife asked her lawyer to ask the judge to appear in court to get the divorce finalized since the husband hasn't shown any desires of reconciliation toward his wife...

My question is...

By doing so, does this mean that it is now the wife that is actually the one asking for the divorce since she is the one asking for it to be finalized?...does this make it sound like she is agreeing on divorcing her husband, even if she does not agree?...or is it still only the husband that is asking for a divorce since he is the one that has asked for it in the first place???...




God hates divorce, as it is plainly written...

Malachi 2:16
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel...

And so do I...*sigh*...

If anything the woman has 'let the unbeliever leave' and done just what she was supposed to do since WE are called to be in peace and not to fight divorce if a spouse wants it.

I think given the circumstances that the wife did the right thing in going ahead and and having the paperwork finalized so that she isnt still 'married' to this man who very clearly doesnt mind living in this situation.
I dont think she will be held accountable for doing what she pretty much was left with little choice but to do.

God bless :)

[FoC]

Hehealedme
I read your other posts and I want to say Im so sorry for your pain.
Ive been thru divorce twice because of adultery of my exs...its really hurtful when someone you should be able to trust commits treachery against you.
I hope the Lord really gives you His peace and brings the most wonderful things into your life for all that youve lost.
God bless you sister.....always remember the the greatest Husband ever loves you more than any human man ever could :)

[Hehealedme]

MY DAUGHTER LEFT HER FATHER'S HOUSE LAST FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!.....

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO BACK WITH HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND......THEY WERE BOTH MISTREATING HER VERBALLY......NO PHYSICAL MARKS THAT WAY!!!!!!!!......

SHE WOULD COME BACK WITH ME IF WE LIVED IN THE SAME TOWN.....SHE WANTS TO FINISH SCHOOL OVER THERE FIRST......

POLICE, PDJ, AND CLSC KNOW ABOUT THIS.......

I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY!!!!!!!!

MY POOR LITTLE GIRL IS NOW REACHING BOTTOM PIT AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP HER!!!!!!!

EVERYTHING THAT I SUSPECTED SINCE SHE LEFT WITH HIM HAS BEEN TRUE!!!!!!!!



                  

[Hehealedme]

There has been about 4 clicks on this thread since 4:59:06pm..........AND TWO OF THEM HAVE BEEN MY OWN!!!!!!!!!!!

DOES ANYONE EVEN CARE JUST A LLITTLE !? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

I can't sleep    all I am thinking about is my daughter right now.........
What is going to happen to her? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

I NEED MAJOR HELP HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!