Author Topic: Respect and the Male  (Read 898 times)

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Offline ebenezer1844

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Respect and the Male
« on: Thu Jan 31, 2019 - 00:06:05 »
Hello everyone,
I'm a man. Lately I have been trying to have worship with my family, but it seems futile. Every time I try and have worship, something happens. To give a little background, my wife and I have 4 children. So when we are sitting down the evening to have worship, and I say it's time for prayer, I look and notice that no one is paying attention and that everyone is doing there own things. I try to gently call things to order, and no one listens. They just keep doing whatever they have been doing. When I go to enforce things by discipline, my wife does not do anything, but rather supports the children in their disrespect.

This was something that I dealt with a lot when I was younger. I would try and share my faith with my friends, and they would make fun of me. I remember being called "preacher boy" at camp meeting, for trying to share some things about the Bible. What cuts the deepest is the fact that it is my wife now who is treating what I do when it comes to worship with contempt.

In fact, while I am trying to read to the children, a lot of times, she is on her phone and not paying attention to what I am saying. The children watch her and then follow suit.

As a result of this I find myself isolated, and feeling like what I say or do does not matter. I also feel emasculated and like less of a man. I know that an elder must have his children in subjection under him with all gravity, and I don't feel like they are. My brother is constantly telling me I need to "be the man, and take off the dress" and "wear the pants in the relationship." I feel pressure from almost every angle when it comes to this. I don't know if any other men can relate on this area, but it hurts, and it hurts deeply. I don't know why this is such a huge wound, but it is. I still remember my grandpa calling me a "mammas boy" at a very young age and it cutting to the heart. Feeling worthless and disrespected is a huge wound. I'm not sure how I'm going to get over it, but I know one thing for sure: God IS going to give me the victory! He would not have brought me to this Jordan, if He did not have a plan.

So on that note, I guess the question is: What should I do in this situation? My wife is a believer, but she is not supportive of me and who I am and what I stand for and that just hurts. I plan, by God's grace to be married to this woman for the rest of my life, and so I am just looking for solutions to the problem.

God calls me to be the spiritual leader in my home and I can't be that because I'm constantly being undermined by my wife. There has to be solutions.

Offline RB

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Re: Respect and the Male
« Reply #1 on: Thu Jan 31, 2019 - 04:31:09 »
God calls me to be the spiritual leader in my home and I can't be that because I'm constantly being undermined by my wife. There has to be solutions.
Greetings ebeneger~With a name like that, I'm sure not why you are having trouble....In the Old Testament Samuel gave the name Ebenezer to a stone set up in recognition of God's assistance in defeating the Philistines ~

Solution #1~
Get control of your wife and then it will be much better. She needs to be all in if your desire is to be fruitful. God has called you to be the leader, DO IT. Trust him for the results. I would first sit down and have a talk with your wife and tell her that worship with the family is absolutely essential for the grounding of the children to best give them a path that they should take instead of just leaving them to themselves to chose on their own. 

Solution #2~ It's not optioned... it is a commandment from God for children to LISTEN and obey their parents especially in them teaching them the word of God.
Proverbs 4:1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
Tell them you are doing what you are doing because you love them and want the best for them.

Children should attentively listen to their father to learn what he has to teach.  Fathers, must teach their children? and expect their attention. Tell them that the bible will give wise instructions and will make life easier on them and very hard if they reject them.

Children are God’s gift to married parents (Psalm 127:3). They arrive without understanding (Proverb 22:15). They need to be taught and instructed, or they will default to the depraved impulses of their wicked hearts and/or the world’s profane ideas (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20-23).

There was no Scripture in the world until 1532 BC. No man had a single verse of the Bible for 2,514 years. All the instruction came by word of mouth, from father to son. With men living as long as 969 years in the case of Methuselah (Gen 5:27), there was also word of mouth from grandfathers to grandsons.

Children, must pay careful attention to hear and obey the instruction that they receive from their parents, especially fathers (Proverbs 23:22; 30:17). They will be fools if left to themselves.

Solution #3~Be the father that God is to you~As a father, your duty is certain and important. You must train your children in the fear of the Lord and perpetuate the truth of God through them and their children (Proverbs 22:6; 29:15; Genesis 18:19; Deut 4:9; 6:4-9,20-25; Joshua 24:15; Psalms 34:11; 71:18; 78:1-8; Isaiah 38:19; Joel 1:1-3; Ephesians 6:4). Paul assumed that fathers exhort, comfort, and charge children (Ist Thess 2:11).

Do not be discouraged in training your children in the fear of God, for you will reap if you do not faint. Get your wife on aboard with you ASAP. It is a win-win for everyone. God can and will give you the boldness you need if you only ask for it. We all are timid to a certain degree~my wife will argue that about me, but we are without God's help