I'll try to keep this short, but provide enough info so that others can offer their advice.
In May of last year, my wife took off without saying anything. She sent me a text that I was verbally abusive and controlling towards her, and that she couldn't deal with it anymore. I was in a marriage counselor's office a couple days later laying my heart out that I didn't understand why she saw me that way. After one session by myself, and one with her on the phone, the (christian) counselor said it was so obvious she has a lot of emotional trauma from her childhood. My wife comes back, and we start going to a different (christian) counselor who is amazing. My wife ends up leaving again, this time for two months. The whole time she is gone, we are doing 1 to 2 sessions per week and made huge progress.
The counselor agreed that the emotional trauma was driving my wife's fears, and that she never saw any abusive/controlling behavior in myself. My wife comes back and we continue working on our marriage. While she was gone, I learned she was sexting another guy and talking/texting some guy she'd never met and she had planned to go out on a date. I forgive her and try to move on.
We had to stop going to counseling in October due to the cost and things started to go down hill. She began increasingly secretive about things, such as changing her phone password all the time and claiming she had an upset stomach and would be in the bathroom talking to a guy friend back in Texas. We got to the point of being able to afford counseling and I book a session, and my wife says she doesn't want to go because she doesn't believe it will help. I go anyway, and while I was at the session, my wife packs up and heads back to Houston.
She refuses to talk to me about anything other than getting a divorce. She believes I am solely to blame for the breakdown of our marriage. The counselor thinks she is the main problem (I have plenty to work on of course, but nothing that would drive the average person away).
What I would like to know is how to try to communicate with my wife. It's been two and a half weeks now and she told me to stop sending her emails. I was explaining how I got involved in a men's prayer group at church and how I have fully committed myself to living my life for God instead of being a passive follower.
She has also blocked my phone number on her phone. She has blocked me on instagram and facebook, and deleted all our pictures together on facebook.
I feel she is associating all the emotional trauma with me instead of the horrible things in her childhood, and is trying to block me out of her life.
The earliest she can file for divorce in Texas is at the end of August.
How do I go about trying to communicate with her, if at all? I am putting my full faith in God that He can restore our marriage, but I feel I can't just sit back and expect God to do all the work. I believe we also have to do our part. I just don't know what that is. I fully believe God can remove the trauma she has.
I will be moving back to Texas at the end of this month because I can't afford to pay all our bills without her salary. She is only 22, while I am 7.5 years older.
Thank you so much!