Yes i have prayed about it and im not sure what im being led to do. But every time i start to entertain the idea of selling my house to move there and be with him my gut tells me not to do it. I havent spoken to many people about this situation but a couple of my Christian girl friends have said they think im wise to wait and see what happnens for him there before i make any decisions.
Unfortunately, my husband has had no luck working for anyone but himself. He is not a team player and has had over 50 jobs in the past 10 years here. He was fired from a few and quit the rest. He has excuses for all of them and if i dare try and suggest he has a problem he says im not supportive of him and i always take everybody elses side. He is convinced God is leading him to start a particular business there and keeps telling me how good he will do and that he isnt going to work for anyone but himself.
His mother has refused to move here but if she did she would have to live with us because she has no money and its very expensive in the area where i live. And since he hasnt been able to hold a job here i would probably end up taking care of both of them. If i moved there i would have the equity in my home to buy a place for us to live, we would not live with his mom. He has also told me he is now where he is supposed to be, where his calling is. He says nothing worked out for him here because its not where God wants him to be. So he isnt moving back here, and i wont try and convince him.
I feel used and manipulated and when I read what ive written here i feel stupid. But he is my husband and i continue to pray for him and hope God will work in him and show him what he needs to do. Its just hard when he is making me seem like the bad wife because i wont do what he tells me to do.
Lack of peace is a thing that God uses a lot with me. If you have a lack of peace then wait.
Your husband has massive issues with work, many have to work in jobs they don't like and stick with them because they have bills to pay and families to support. He also has massive issues with money, he has lost such a lot over the years from you and his mother. Because his mother has enabled him he has never had to be responsible and work hard and stick with a job, and that's very concerning for a man. There are plenty of jobs that he can do that don't involve having to work with others all day, such as a mail man, lorry driver etc. He needs to get a job to save up some money to start his business if that is what he wants.
If he is sure its Gods will for him to stay there and do that, then God will give him the means to do that without you having to sell you home and give him even more money.
I am usually a person to advocate sharing everything including money money in a marriage, but when one spouse is so irresponsible with money and jobs, you could end up with no money, no home and no income and having to live with his mother.
In your place I would suggest that he gets his business going, and once he has a steady income and it's established you will sell your home and come and join him. In the mean time you can visit him when you are able. Maybe give it 6 months and see where he is then. If nothing has changed in that time, and he still has no income and no job, then I think it would be foolish to throw away your business/income and home. WHat would you live on? If he says he wont work for someone else, that's his choice, just as its yours to stay out until things have changed.
Its also possible that his mum has put pressure on him to stay, but he is being very manipulative considering his bad track record.
Would you mind if I asked you some questions?
Was he living with his mum when you met? How old is he? Has he ever supported himself and been independent ever? Has he been married before?
Him saying that nothing has worked out there because its not where God wants him to be is nonsense. Things haven't worked out because of his workshy attitude and the way he uses other peoples money and just looses it.