Just thought I'd throw in my two cents..
I grew up believing mainly that love was a verb ("something you do, not what you say; more than an attitude."). I also thought I was incapable of falling "in love" because after several boyfriends I still had never experienced those FEELINGS that everyone talks about. I could be attracted to someone, and I could choose to love him, but that was it.
Then, lo and behold, something changed in me. After 8 years of friendship with this guy, my love for him grew, or changed, or something, and I finally understood what those feelings meant. Or what people meant when they described the feelings.
I didn't marry him just because of those feelings, or just because I was attracted. It was a combination of many things, and after praying and seeking advice of Christian friends and family, we decided that not only did we WANT to get married, but it was right and it was what God wanted for us....
But my point is... I think you need to love EVERYONE, as the Bible commands, with the verb kind of love, the unconditional ACTION. But I think you need to love your spouse with every kind of love there is. And if that fails, you love them and act lovingly toward them unconditionally. But the goal, I think, is more than that. The goal is passionate love as between lovers, as felt inside you, as hollywood tries so hard to show us (though not accurately).