Marriage Seminar - The Head & the Heart - Part Two

[larry2]

Marriage Seminar - The Head & the Heart

by Gene Hawkins

Part Two of Six

~ transcribed and edited from CD's by larry2 ~

Adam was not deceived. 

(1Timothy 2:14) “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.”

Spiritual partnership is the key.

(1 Peter 3:7) "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."

(1 Corinthians 11:11) "Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

(1 Corinthians 11:12)  For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God."

The nation from the Song of Solomon at the end of the lesson last night; for those of you that were not here the major or bulk of the lesson last night was the five-fold headship that a man has. A man must take that five-fold headship there in (Ephesians Chap. 5) and the woman has to learn to submit to that five-fold headship, and as we noticed that exactly the same thing prevails between us and Christ; the same thing is true of a husband and a wife. We really kind of blasted the husbands a little bit last night and I want to bring out one more point concerning the husband because as I said; there are too many husbands today who are putting their wives out front for things they don't want to deal with. They just switch the role and that ought not to be done. The point I want to make here is in (Song. 2:3) "As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow," and I want to bring that shadow out because you see when the husband cast the shadow, it means he is taking the heat. So men, you must realize that you're the one that's going to have to take the heat. So many are putting their wives out and they're taking the heat; no, it is the husband that is supposed to cast the shadow for the wife and so she sets down under his shadow or under his protection with great delight and I'll not go through all those other things, but let us go on to our lesson today and it is entitled: “The Head and the Heart.”

(Genesis 1:27) I want to begin just by reading these scriptures as to how God created things. "God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him," and you can underline it. "Male and female created he them," This is one of the major difficulties and major problems in the world today is that men are trying to knock down the barriers between male and female and it simply can not be done.

(Genesis 3:16) "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." And some try to water that down, but I trust after last night's lesson we understand that for a husband to rule over his wife means that he is not the dictator over her. He is the head over her and that entails a tremendous and unbelievable amount of responsibility that he must take and she is to be subject to him in all of those areas.
 
(1 Corinthians 11:3) "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.)

(Ephesians 5:21-22) "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. (22) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Now as I told you last night, the lesson last night on "Marriage Models and Headship" was really a springboard and a basis for all the comments that we're going to be making this week; they can be traced back to that and so it is very important that those who missed the session will get the tape and fill it in, but I'll try to do that a little bit as we go on also.

(Ephesians 5:23) "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." Now with all of these scriptures; male and female, husband and wife, and all of these different things we must realize that God created the man and the woman differently. It goes back to God, we are not the same person. Scripture says in (Ephesians 5:31) "They two shall be one flesh." Well, as we found out last night that comes over process and period of time. They are different individuals and we must recognize and know that they are different, and what I want to notice in our lesson today is that that difference goes far, far beyond the physical differences.

Now we are told in scriptures specifically in these verses up above here that the man is the head. It's just in black and white that the man is the head, but what analogy can we use for the woman? Down through the years some have said well I know she's the neck that turns the head and that ain't right either. Before we finish today I hope we can very clearly see that the woman is the heart, and it is vitality important that both husband and wife see that the woman is the heart because when you do, the husband is going to realize how valuable the woman is and the wife is going to realize how valuable that she is.

Now consider some analysis on this analogy. Number one God created both of them. God created the woman just as much as He did the Man and both are indispensable. You look at your human body and you have two legs and two arms and I have seen people get along without one or even two arms. I've seen them get along without two legs and two arms and believe me, it's not a pretty picture. and it's not something I want to go through by any stretch of the imagination. You have ten fingers and ten toes, two kidneys where one can go out and you still have the other one, two lungs, one can go bad and you still have the other one but if you're brain dead you're done for, and if your heart quits you're done for. These are indispensable and you don't go on without the head and the heart, you just don't; it's gone.

I want to notice that both of these have strengths and both of them have weaknesses. The head and the heart are dependent on the other; if the heart doesn't get the blood to the brain you know what happens and if the head is so stupid that he instructs the legs to keep on running that the heart gives out and then he's in trouble. You see, there has to be an interaction between them; they are dependent one on the other. Notice what Paul says in (1 Cor. 11:11), "Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." Just as the head and the heart are dependent on one another in the natural human body, likewise the husband and the wife are dependent on one another in this marriage relationship.

Now the key to what we are going to talk about today is this: Both the heart and the head think. Now sometimes when women hear this analogy that the man is the head; humph, what do you think? I can't think for myself, I know how to think! That's not true. What we must realize is that the   woman thinks from a different point of view and perspective than the man does. Now observe what the scripture says   about the heart thinking. (Proverbs 18:15) "The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge." I want to notice a very important difference here. "The heart of the prudent gets knowledge." Do you notice that the heart gets the knowledge? The ear of the wise only seeks after it. This is sometimes where the head comes in; man's reasoning mind seeks after it but he never gets it, because in order to get real knowledge it has to go to the heart. We're going to get into that more and more as we go here. Just notice the difference and the specific point here is that the heart thinks as well as the head. The heart gets knowledge.

(Matthew 13:15) "For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal (Teach) them.

(Proverbs 16:23) "The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips." All these are the heart that is thinking, the heart teaches his mouth and what I want to realize here is that it is absolutely imperative that we understand that both the heart and the head think, and that one is not right and the other one is wrong. They come from two different perspectives and the perspective is this. God made the man to reason with his mind and we're going to show some examples here how he does it over and over again; that's the way he's made, but God made the woman to think with her emotions and that's what we mean when we say the woman is the heart of the marriage. She comes from this emotional point of view and believe me, we can pick up so much knowledge from her emotions.

(Proverbs 4:23) brings out this wonderful thought that the woman is the heart of the marriage. "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it (The heart) are the issues of life." It's the woman who reproduces life, it is the woman from whence springs the life, it was given to her to produce it out of her body comes the new life. Now sometimes people go to the other extreme and you know, the first time I heard this I was a little put back, but then I began to realize as I mediated on it that God is even saying something about the woman from (Jeremiah 17:9). "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Now what I want to say is this. This we know applies to all men, but I heard a statement one time from people who studied these things and it was this.

When a man turns cold, when a man turns insensitive; these people are talking about criminals in prisons and they have just absolutely run the gamut as far as evil and wickedness is concerned.

When a man turns his back on the Lord, when he shuts himself off and when he seemingly has no conscience at all he is absolutely horrible. There is just and I'm sure brother Kevin could attest to this; he's seen it in the prisons, but I'm told also that when a woman shuts off this heart, she shuts off the way that she is made and she becomes more incorrigible, vile, and lower than any man ever dared to be. She can put a man to shame any day and why? She has shut off completely the heart. When she shut off the heart, she shut off any feeling she ever had, and so it is fulfilled here in a woman especially that turns away from the Lord and just completely shuts off anything that God has made of her.

 Let's see (Proverbs 1:8-9) where we see the heart and the head brought together in the marriage relationship. "My son, hear the instruction of your father." That's not hard to interpret, we know it speaks spiritually of the word of God, but it is the father who is the one that has this reasoning mind and he takes his son under his wing teaching him everything he can and fills him with all this knowledge. He's the disciplinarian to make sure he has structure and all this separation under the knowledge he needs to have but notice the other side. "Forsake not the law of thy mother:" What is the law of your mother? It's the law of love as we're taught from the scripture and that comes right directly out of the heart of the woman; right out of the heart of the mother. Then notice continuing in verse (9) with "For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck." This tells us of the balance that the children have in their lives when the father measures up to his responsibilities, and he gives the instruction, and he gives the understanding, and he takes his son aside and gives him all this discipline and all of these things but you see, without the law of your mother you're not going to the chains about your neck. The chain about your neck is an expression of outward love, it's an expression of affection. You can try it and observe it yourself. You look at any child that has been brought up strictly under very structured disciplinary measures; I mean the knowledge, reasoning and all this was there, but the heart of the woman was not there and that young man will grow up very hard, harsh, unable to understand his own emotions let alone relate to anyone else's emotions and he is just in a mess.

I've seen the other side where that only the affection of the woman shown forth. The heart was worked overtime, but there was no discipline or structure in that young man's life, he couldn't take responsibility if it stared him in the face. You see we are talking here about balance of the head and the heart in the marriage and when it is there, the glorious recipients are the children when they have that balance that we have here in verse nine. Children will then receive such balance and they will have grace around their head. See, it is grace; it's not just all structured, and knowledge shut off and closed. They have grace in their but they also have the chains of love about their neck; they are able to structure, express that love and reach out because they have had the demonstration of affection and emotion in their lives.

In Jesus' name - larry2

[rppearso]

You cant have the man as the head of the household and feminism co-existing if you want to maintain any intergrity in your lesson.  There are roles and responsiblities in a marriage and the chruch is out of line in that they chastise the man but dont really hold women accountable.  I agree that both have to hold up there end of the marriage but chruch tends to over emphisize the mans role and kind of lets the women slide.

[chosenone]

You cant have the man as the head of the household and feminism co-existing if you want to maintain any intergrity in your lesson.  There are roles and responsiblities in a marriage and the chruch is out of line in that they chastise the man but dont really hold women accountable.  I agree that both have to hold up there end of the marriage but chruch tends to over emphisize the mans role and kind of lets the women slide.

  I have heard good and biblical teaching for both men and women in churches. certainly havent noticed any bias there.

 Also my husbands ex was held accountable by the church they were in when the pastor told her that she had absuolutely no reason to divorce him and that she had hardened her heart and that she should stop. However she ignored the pastor and left the church so that she could carry on doing what SHE wanted to regardless,(she wanted to marry another (non Christian) man) but at least they did the right thing and challenged her.

There are also some really good people in the church writing good books and recording good seminare on marriage where the husband role and the wives are both addressed, such as the one called "love and respect". it is excellent.

[rppearso]

That is definitly a very good start, I have read some books like that and have noticed inconsistancys with the bible I think when one writes a book like that they need to make sure it is vetted through multipule different people to ensure there is nothing that is unscriptural.  I noticed a gross error in the every mans marriage book that was clearly not vetted but hopefully the ones your chruch are working with are.

You cant have the man as the head of the household and feminism co-existing if you want to maintain any intergrity in your lesson.  There are roles and responsiblities in a marriage and the chruch is out of line in that they chastise the man but dont really hold women accountable.  I agree that both have to hold up there end of the marriage but chruch tends to over emphisize the mans role and kind of lets the women slide.

  I have heard good and biblical teaching for both men and women in churches. certainly havent noticed any bias there.

 Also my husbands ex was held accountable by the church they were in when the pastor told her that she hads absuolutely no reason to divorce him and that she had hardened her heart and that she should stop. However she ignored the pastor and left the church so that she could carry on doing what SHE wanted to regardless, but at least they did the right thing and challenged her.

There are also some really good people in the church writing good books and recording good seminare on marriage where the husband role and the wives are both addressed, such as the one called "love and respect". it is excellent.

[larry2]

Dear rppearso, there are six different lessons to be presented in this series, with approximately six parts per lesson. I believe you'll see that women too have their instruction as we proceed through it. We'll find it takes two to tango and God is not slack in telling us what is right.

Thanks for your interest in Jesus' name - larry2