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Author Topic: Things you don't say to your wife if you want to live a long and happy life...  (Read 56534 times)

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Offline spurly

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These are the things you don't say to your wife...

[youtube=475,000]5uxvXA8Aqh4[/youtube]
He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; like one from whom men hide their face; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.  Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed.

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Offline Jimbob

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“Only he who believes is obedient and only he who is obedient believes.”
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“Followers of Jesus don't get to decide if they will be missionaries. They just get to choose where.”
- Rick Atchley

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Offline Charles Sloan

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Tim Hawkins is great, I would recommend his entire act.
Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways.
For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.  — Psalm 128:1-3

I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name. — Psalm 138:2

Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. — Colossians 4:6

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Offline Petals

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You gave me my laugh for the day.  Thanks!   ::laughingatquote::

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Offline gracex2

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This is awesome! I love Tim Hawkins!

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Offline poohgirl

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 ::applause::    Very funny.  rofl
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Offline BondServant

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spurly, that is GREAT!!

Thanks!!!

In Christ,
KP
One Body Press
One Body Ministries International

========

"And My prayer is that all of them may be one..."

Offline Hehealedme

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Things you don't say to your wife if you want to live a long and happy life...




I have personally been told that one:

Stop complaining, giving birth can't possibly hurt that much...  ::doh:: ::frustrated::

Offline leeford

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Tim Hawkins lyrics to "Things You Don't Say to Your Wife" are very funny! I wish he'd keep going.

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Offline kensington

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That is too funny. 
Wimpy Christians won't survive spiritual warfare. - Carman

He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called, "The Word Of GOD".  {Revelation 19:13}

Offline fanuvmxpx

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My favorite was the birthday present  ::rolling::
Greater is He Who is in you, than he who is in the world

Offline Bon Voyage

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Get your wife a new vacuum cleaner for Mother's Day, and she will just love you to pieces.

Offline courtgirl72

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Things you don't say to your wife if you want to live a long and happy life...




I have personally been told that one:

Stop complaining, giving birth can't possibly hurt that much...  ::doh:: ::frustrated::


How long did he have to stay in the hospital?

Offline chosenone

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Get your wife a new vacuum cleaner for Mother's Day, and she will just love you to pieces.


 whats wrong with a new vacuum cleaner?mind you I am not his mum so wouldnt expect anything from hubby for mothers day, that is for my own children to think about.
Mind you I got some new rechargable gardening shears for my birthday and it was what I asked for. (I am very easy to please).
In Him I live and move and have my being.

My determined purpose is that I may know Him - that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly."

It is by Grace we have been saved though Faith and not by works so that no one can boast.

Offline Hehealedme

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Things you don't say to your wife if you want to live a long and happy life...




I have personally been told that one:

Stop complaining, giving birth can't possibly hurt that much...  ::doh:: ::frustrated::


How long did he have to stay in the hospital?



You must mean in the same room as I was, not in the hospital...you want the truth?...ok, here goes...if I (his wife and mother of his first child) had had the strenght to get up that day between the contractions, I would have smacked him one between his eyes for sure that would have kept him in the hospital for as many days as I had to stay there myself!...but instead, I started screaming telling him to get out of the room. Two nurses then came in, asked him to get out of the room, then they stayed with me and helped me go through the contractions until I was given only very mild morphine until the doctor decided to make me have an emergency cesarean...our daughter was stuck, she couldn't get out through the birth canal and her heartbeat was dangerously in distress...we could easily have lost her... ::cryingtears::