Upset, opinions please.

[lightshineon]

 My ipod, needed docked, powered, whatever? I sleep with CCM, music at night. Some secular, like Moby, and such. Last night I borrowed my husbands. I sure did not like his music. In my opinion, it had sexual undertones. I called him, he got miffed, and said Was judgmental, and mean the last three days. I hung up on him. I say some secular is fine. I listen to Christian mostly. He use too. We never fuss, that much. He hurt my feelings. Jury is out, go ahead, and give wisdom.

[lightshineon]

 Update card from husband on door when I came home.

[kensington]

I don't think you are wrong to bring to your husband's attention that our minds are a battle field and we need to protect them.  Or that as Christians you are ambassadors for Christ and the things you do are your witness...

I don't think arguing about it, getting mad or yelling helps.  Just remind him that his calling is to the LORD first and everything else must fall away.  

Also tell him that you hope that he would regard his place in your life the same way, in that if he saw you getting away from where you belong with the Lord or allowing things in that could diminish your light or walk, you would want him to remind you also.

[lightshineon]

I don't think you are wrong to bring to your husband's attention that our minds are a battle field and we need to protect them.  Or that as Christians you are ambassadors for Christ and the things you do are your witness...

I don't think arguing about it, getting mad or yelling helps.  Just remind him that his calling is to the LORD first and everything else must fall away.  

Also tell him that you hope that he would regard his place in your life the same way, in that if he saw you getting away from where you belong with the Lord or allowing things in that could diminish your light or walk, you would want him to remind you also.

 You, are right on.

[Mere Nick]

My opinion?  You didn't handle it well.

[lightshineon]

My opinion?  You didn't handle it well.

 Thanks Nick, I know I did not, I have been really, really, mean this week.  I do not know why. I spend more time in repentance than anything else. Would MereNick, have a suggestion how I could have handled in a better way? Seriously.

[HRoberson]

My opinion?  You didn't handle it well.

Ditto.

Leave his music alone. There is good - even "Christian" secular music. The Song of Solomon also has sexual undertones. Is there a problem with that?

Do you also constrain his reading?

[walker starr]

      I don't know what Nick will tell you but Here's Walker.  I can't,make that won't , tell you what to do.  But  just know that I
     have spent a lot of time this past year on "if onlys".  If only I hadn't insisted that she walk faster.  If only I hadn't complained when she burned the egg plant. I could go on and on with this recitation but I won't.  I think I;ve said enough for you to get the idea.  Life is much too short even if you both live to be 100.  what I have to say has nothing to do with Christianity.  Just life.
Assuming the two of you are otherwise so compatible you have nothing to really quarrel about except music.  You can have
a long happy life if you follow the following instruction:  DON'T SWEAT  THE SMALL STUFF.  REALIZE EVERYTHING IS SMALL STUFF.
May GOD bless you both, in JESUS precious name.Amen.
                                                                              Walker     




   

[Bocephus]

I listen to the fan at night.  It's sexual undertone neutral.  And it sounds better than CCM, it even has more talent.

[kensington]

My opinion?  You didn't handle it well.

Ditto.

Leave his music alone. There is good - even "Christian" secular music. The Song of Solomon also has sexual undertones. Is there a problem with that?

Do you also constrain his reading?

I disagree...  the LORD admonishes us to be helpmates to one another in marriage.  It's our reasonable service to them.  If there is something that I am doing in my life, and it bothers my husband, I want to know, so we can talk... so we can search together and make sure we are both on the right path... 

And yes, I would question his reading, his television watching, his conversation, his health...  And I would want him to do the same for me.  We are "Yoked" together to keep one another on a path towards right and serving the LORD.  That is the bottom line in a Christian marriage.  Especially, if he calls himself saved. 

[larry2]

Dear Okie, you walk with Christ, and your husband walks with Christ, but we read in Amos 3:3  Can two walk together, except they be agreed? From what I've gathered from you both is that you both love the Lord.

Remember that it is God working in you both individually to will, and to do of His good pleasure, and as individuals He will perfect in you those things He wants done. You will not always be at the same stage of growth as He works with you, and to have arguments over small things makes it harder to approach one another and God when you need to.

I do remember that some of the most hurtful times in my own marriage were the times we judged each other for something with so little consequence it was silly in the light of eternity. I hear dear Brother Walker reminisce of the times with his wife; oh to have those back. Dear sis, how short this life is, and the times of real fruit in your marriage will not be those times of correction, but times of support and love. You just give your all to your husband, and you will see it returned with interest.

We read in Ecclesiastes 1:8 that the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. Of its own the things he listens to today will grow quickly old, because there is no satisfaction in it, just as the things you see and hear today will turn to seeking God more as you allow Him to shape you in the things that will endure forever.

You've got a good marriage; don't allow Satan to get you worrying over little things. Just enjoy one another, and above all let that godly love Christ has given you to shine. God bless you in Jesus' name - larry2
 
 

[BAH-BLAH]

Leave the mans music alone.

Unless it was hardcore rap with laced profanity and degradation of women, leave it alone.
Imagine, all the folks who commented and not ONE has a clue what you mean by "sexual undertones"...thats what gets me, assume the worst, then comment....its called KNEEJERK and its wrong.

There are things that are FINE  that you may personally not approve of. That he listens on his IPOD, not blasting it thru the house, its just best to let that go.

This reminds me of the niece I have whose parents were militantly legalistic on things like music. Sexual undertones or not, if it wasn't on the Christian radio station, it was SIN.

So, this little girl of 5 or 6, parents were out, older sisters babysitting, the kid called 911 and kept telling the operator that her sisters were listening to non-christian music. Its a funny story, but very sad when you think more deeply about that.

Some may say the word "lover" even being used in a song is a sexual undertone for petes sake. The word tells us to guard our minds, it doesnt tell me to guard my wifes mind to the point where i am deciding every move she makes.

[Richard]

If you believe Freud, everything has sexual undertones, if not overtones. I can point you to some architecture that is downright lurid.

[zoonance]

If you believe Freud, everything has sexual undertones, if not overtones. I can point you to some architecture that is downright lurid.

Forums.   Four Ums.   Sex.

[lightshineon]

 Thanks for all the replies. I agree with Kensington, I also took in Walker, and Larry's wisdom. Nick, I agree I handled it wrong, but, I was not wrong. HR, I heard you, and yes, I do censor his books if the were in the likes of Playboy. My husband says sometimes to me, that I am to harsh on this forum. " He will say " Mom, that is a little aggressive, don't you think?"sometimes I agree, but always change my tone.  BlahBlah, I told you some secular music is on my player  music by Moby, Tears For Fears, Instrumental from movies such as the " Gladiator.  Gary please do not tell me you are SG only. I like vestal alot, I have her on one song, and the Gaithers "The love of God. I like Toby Mac, Newsboys, Hillsong, Third Day, Mercy Me. I have went to their concerts. It is all good, and what praises God, is for God.

 Larry, you know  Rock 100 the Kat? I used to listen to it when younger all the time. This was music, like the play. I cannot remember which song was offensive, either a Ted Nugent, or Scorpion song, maybe both.  sin starts in the mind, it tells us in God's word. Blah Blah can you have a more critical spirit please? You act like, I have a bun in my hair, a  big, black KJV only bible cupped in my unjewled fingers.!, long skirts, no make up. That is just WRONG! I am bling, bling, and notice the groups I listen to.

I talked with Frank today, he called me to go to lunch. I apologized for being harsh, and explained my side.I said "Put the music back on if you want to." He said "No, it is OK, maybe I did need a heart check, what I listen to."  Here is my problem music with sexual undertones, or just plain out sex, OK in them, then the next song is praising Jesus.  We lived in an apartment complex in Tacoma Washington, when we first married. We had free satellite . That was good, but at the stroke of noon  one channel changed from Christian TV, to the playboy channel. That is what, that mess on the IPod, reminded me of.  My husband is not made to do anything, he chose to take of the music, because it bothered me. Trust me, everyone I do not wear the pants. My husband, learned long ago, as direct as I am, he would not cave in. He outweighs me by two hundred pounds, and a foot taller, with a big shaved head. Come on, he is an Officer in the United States Army. He would not let a little ( charmingly cute) woman tell him what to do ( Not to much anyway)