Author Topic: what now...  (Read 2463 times)

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Offline mom2four

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what now...
« on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 09:15:42 »
I have been struggling with my situation for some time now. I would love to hear what others think...or have been through.

I married my high school sweetheart. We have been married 21 years and have four children. However, for the past three years we have been separated. He has lived with two women during this time. I have stayed committed to my marriage.

We both are Christians.

My question is...what now? It's been three years and I feel trapped in this situation. When is it time to give up praying for a situation?

LexKnight

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Re: what now...
« Reply #1 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 14:48:53 »
My question is why the separation? If he lived with 2 women after you by this point, he has spiritually divorced you. So what now? Move on.

Offline Texas Conservative

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Re: what now...
« Reply #2 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 14:51:01 »
I have been struggling with my situation for some time now. I would love to hear what others think...or have been through.

I married my high school sweetheart. We have been married 21 years and have four children. However, for the past three years we have been separated. He has lived with two women during this time. I have stayed committed to my marriage.

We both are Christians.

My question is...what now? It's been three years and I feel trapped in this situation. When is it time to give up praying for a situation?

If it were me, I would have filed papers by now.  This isn't a drunken fueled one night stand, your husband has forsaken you.

Offline chosenone

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Re: what now...
« Reply #3 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 15:57:14 »
You are committed to something that isnt there, he has abandoned you and cheated with 2 women. You have no marriage anymore. Sometimes God opens the door for us to walk through it, and you have an open door to end the marriage Biblically. 

 You say that he is a christian, but his actions are not those of a Christian at all. Has he been challenged on this behaviour by the church leaders?

Offline Alma1995

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Re: what now...
« Reply #4 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 17:24:05 »
I have been struggling with my situation for some time now. I would love to hear what others think...or have been through.

I married my high school sweetheart. We have been married 21 years and have four children. However, for the past three years we have been separated. He has lived with two women during this time. I have stayed committed to my marriage.

We both are Christians.

My question is...what now? It's been three years and I feel trapped in this situation. When is it time to give up praying for a situation?
I'm sorry to hear this. To be honest, I admire you for staying commited to your marriage. From what you said, your husband has already forsaken you so you can end your marriage with him without comitting any sin. I guess you already got used to not having your husband around, you just have to deal with the fact that he is no longer your husband anymore.

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Re: what now...
« Reply #4 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 17:24:05 »

Offline mom2four

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Re: what now...
« Reply #5 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 18:57:56 »
Thank you all for your responses. I filed for a divorce within the 1st year which went unsigned. I believed that was an intervention from God. So, I have continued to wait. I do believe I am Biblically entitled to a divorce. But I also believe it has been my duty as his wife to pray for my husband and our marriage. I have believed in God for restoration. That is why it has taken this long to get to this point.

LexKnight

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Re: what now...
« Reply #6 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 20:53:17 »
I understand your conviction and honestly admire your faithfulness to it, but I do want to remind you you're not obligated to him anymore. So it's your choice.

Why did the separation happen?

Offline mom2four

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Re: what now...
« Reply #7 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 20:56:41 »
He met a woman online and left to go be with her.

LexKnight

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Re: what now...
« Reply #8 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 21:06:46 »
He's totally forsaken you then, his blood on his head. You're free, so I do advise you to take care of the papers and move on.

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Re: what now...
« Reply #8 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 21:06:46 »

Offline mom2four

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Re: what now...
« Reply #9 on: Tue Mar 22, 2016 - 21:12:29 »
Thank you for your thoughts.

Offline chosenone

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Re: what now...
« Reply #10 on: Wed Mar 23, 2016 - 08:39:59 »
Thank you all for your responses. I filed for a divorce within the 1st year which went unsigned. I believed that was an intervention from God. So, I have continued to wait. I do believe I am Biblically entitled to a divorce. But I also believe it has been my duty as his wife to pray for my husband and our marriage. I have believed in God for restoration. That is why it has taken this long to get to this point.


 I know a lady whose husband left her for a woman who he had know for a week. She prayed and believed for 5 years that he would come back. After that time in the uk you can divorce your spouse even if they dont agree, so he did just that. She then understood that it wasnt going to happen and had to accept it was ended. God then used her in amazing ways in ministry and she is closer to God than ever. 

When you say it went unsigned, do you mean he didnt sign it? Do you know why??
I am not sure that I would take that as a sign from God.

Have the church leaders challenged him on his behaviour?

Offline mom2four

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Re: what now...
« Reply #11 on: Wed Mar 23, 2016 - 14:56:42 »
Yes, that means he didn't sign them. No, I don't know why. When asked, his response is what's the point. I have no idea what that means.

Yes, church leaders counseled with him and called his behavior out when it first happened.

I appreciate everyone's opinion and I'm seeing that I have been naive.

Offline chosenone

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Re: what now...
« Reply #12 on: Wed Mar 23, 2016 - 17:19:56 »
Yes, that means he didn't sign them. No, I don't know why. When asked, his response is what's the point. I have no idea what that means.

Yes, church leaders counseled with him and called his behavior out when it first happened.

I appreciate everyone's opinion and I'm seeing that I have been naive.

Maybe by 'whats the point' he means that he doesnt need to get divorced in order to have other relationships. He doesnt seem to be at all bothered that he is living a life of sin. You have to wonder if he ever truly had that relationship with God.

What did he say when he was challenged?

Offline Star of David

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Re: what now...
« Reply #13 on: Wed Mar 23, 2016 - 17:24:12 »
I have been struggling with my situation for some time now. I would love to hear what others think...or have been through.

I married my high school sweetheart. We have been married 21 years and have four children. However, for the past three years we have been separated. He has lived with two women during this time. I have stayed committed to my marriage.

We both are Christians.

My question is...what now? It's been three years and I feel trapped in this situation. When is it time to give up praying for a situation?

mom4four, you obviously cannot face the prospect of divorce, which is very understandable. When the day comes when you have the strength to file for divorce, you'll know it and that is the day when you do it. I know how very painful this is for you to go through.