When do I let go and move on?

[smikkelson]

     It has been roughly a month since my husband has left, and I am so frustrated with him because he has yet to file the divorce papers.  I believe this is due to the fact that he is broke, but when I ask him if he has filed, he always blows me off.  The worst part is the fact that he will say that he just wants this all to hurry up and be over with!

     I am at the point where I am ready to move on with my life, get my old name back, and cut all ties because it hurts too much to even hear his voice on the phone! 

     Since he is taking forever, and I refuse to pay the filing fees, am I to sit and wait, knowing it could be a year or some extremely long amount of time before he finally files, or am I entitled to hit the road to recovery and begin to venture into possible future relationships?  I don't want to have pre-martial sex or anything, but I want a companion again, and I feel it is unfair that I have to sit and wait for my husband to suck it up and pay for what he wants so bad.

     So, do I wait, or persue another possible Christian-based romantic relationship?

[shoshanarose]

Dear smikkleson...
I was where you are at RIGHT NOW...and I waited
until my now-ex told me that he wanted a divorce and filed for it. I believe that God has made him as accountable as you are in this marriage...it could be that God is working in heart and reconciliation may be possible...you may not even want that...I know that I didn't but I needed to be OPEN to the possibilility that if GOD wanted it, why shouldn't I? You wouldn't want to miss out on seeing a miracle would you if God wants to do one for you???

Don't be in a hurry...you have nothing else to do but wait upon God right now...anything else could cause you to go into sin, and you said that you don't want that...

Seek God's companionship...I spent MANY a day and night ALONE WITH GOD, pouring out my heart and telling him how I wanted a GODLY man in my life...After my ex divorced me "for no good reason"...really. I was even paying the bills! He did not want to deal with me or his sin so he "kicked me out"...I prayed!!!

When I was single, I sought to be the most pure, holy single woman who ever loved Jesus... He did a work in me to PREPARE me for my NOW Godly husband... I married my husband less than 2 1/2 years after divorce from the first one. God brought him to me because I waited and trusted in Him.  

I know this is not what you were hoping to hear, but dear, you asked and I am speaking honestly, my experience and how God moved in my heart and released me from that marriage; He does hate divorce but He has given us free will; to follow Him in His ways or do things "our way"...I  had to allow my ex to make that decision. I did not even ask for it...he suggested it and confirmed that he no longer wanted to be married to me. I was truly freed but only because I waited and trusted in God.

Hope you hear with spiritual ears and desire to love the Lord your God and serve Him only...that is the only way...the rest is ..well...sin.

Blessings and peace,
Shoshanarose

[smikkelson]

I watched a sermon on TV this morning, and I learned that in order for miracles to commence in our own lives, we must forgive those who have trespassed against us.

I just learned that my husband (who has yet to file the papers but is referring to me as his ex-wife already!) is romantically interested in a girl that we work with (I had my feelings about him liking her in the earlier part of our marriage).

Anyway, I have decided to forgive my husband for thinking adulterous thoughts (and for committing the action if he already has) even though it still really stings.

I want to do right by God and learn to confess my sins every day and to forgive my husband for the awful things he is emotionally torturing me with.

I just need extra prayers from you guys to allow me the strength to continue to live in Christ and to endure the rough road ahead in facing my inevitable divorce.

 

 

[shoshanarose]

smikkleson:
I am keeping you in my prayers...

You are not accountable to God for what your husband has done or what he is going to do...

As one Pastor encouraged me...I will pass on to you..."Go and serve God"...

Love and blessings to you,
Shoshanarose

[HRoberson]

     It has been roughly a month since my husband has left, and I am so frustrated with him because he has yet to file the divorce papers.  I believe this is due to the fact that he is broke, but when I ask him if he has filed, he always blows me off.  The worst part is the fact that he will say that he just wants this all to hurry up and be over with!

     I am at the point where I am ready to move on with my life, get my old name back, and cut all ties because it hurts too much to even hear his voice on the phone! 

     Since he is taking forever, and I refuse to pay the filing fees, am I to sit and wait, knowing it could be a year or some extremely long amount of time before he finally files, or am I entitled to hit the road to recovery and begin to venture into possible future relationships?  I don't want to have pre-martial sex or anything, but I want a companion again, and I feel it is unfair that I have to sit and wait for my husband to suck it up and pay for what he wants so bad.

     So, do I wait, or persue another possible Christian-based romantic relationship?

"Fair" is irrelevant.

Being true to a commitment proscribes "companionships" since commitment is about more than sex.

If you want to move on, give him the money to file.

[mikesayen]

If you do not believe in God and do not follow Jesus Christ.. then he should let you go at your wish.. 1 Cor 7:15 but if you are a believer you are bound to the law of your husband as long as he lives.. 1 Cor 7:39 and even if he divorces you, you must remain unmarried..

sorry, michael

God hates divorce, so don't do it.

if he is an unbeliever.. stay married as long as he wants to stay married 1 Cor 7:12-13.