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Author Topic: When do we move in for marriage?  (Read 2571 times)

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Offline goodlife3

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When do we move in for marriage?
« on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 20:50:51 »
My girl & I are 22 and have been together for 4 years. We've decided to get married. We both have jobs, but live with our own parents. We calculated that it would take approximately 1 year for us to have all the savings we need to purchase a house.

My question is, in what order do we get marriage and get a house and still keep the best christian ethics?

#1. Do we get married shortly before we get the house then move in once the house is ready?
      - Meaning we will be married but living in separate houses with our parents for the mean time.

#2. Get the house, and move in together and shortly after get married?
      - Meaning there will be a grace period where we are living together but aren't married.

#3. Get the house, but neither of us/or one of us live in it until we get married?
      - Meaning we will be paying for a house and not living in it until we are married.

Which way would be the best for us? If you have your own answer that would help also.
Thanks.

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When do we move in for marriage?
« on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 20:50:51 »

Offline Hehealedme

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #1 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:06:39 »
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« Last Edit: Mon Dec 08, 2014 - 14:58:35 by Hehealedme »

Offline goodlife3

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #2 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:10:12 »
@Hehealedme
Thanks for the suggestion. Actually that sounds like a perfect plan. The only thing is, we want to live with our parents so we can save the maximum amount for our house. An apartment would create extra bills right now. Thanks again

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #2 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:10:12 »

Offline Hehealedme

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #3 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:16:22 »
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« Last Edit: Mon Dec 08, 2014 - 14:57:57 by Hehealedme »

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #3 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:16:22 »

Offline goodlife3

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #4 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:28:13 »
@Hehealedme

That's a good point as well. Although were I am located, houses go between $60,000 and $80,000 which will make mortgage cheaper then most apartments out here ($700 p/month usually). I know about the extra expenses. But I have a decent job that pays me about $3000 a month and she makes about $1000 a month. So if possible we wanted to avoid the whole apartment thing. Haha, sorry for being complicated.

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #4 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:28:13 »



Offline Hehealedme

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #5 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:42:04 »
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« Last Edit: Mon Dec 08, 2014 - 14:57:38 by Hehealedme »

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #5 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:42:04 »

Offline goodlife3

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #6 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:47:02 »
@Hehealedme,

So you are suggesting that option 1, would be your option?

Offline Hehealedme

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #7 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 21:51:07 »
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« Last Edit: Mon Dec 08, 2014 - 14:57:17 by Hehealedme »

Offline goodlife3

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #8 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:03:51 »
@Hehealedme

Living together at either one of our parents house is out of the question. Also we really don't want to take the apartment route, we rather wait until a house. What would your opinion then be based on those facts? THanks for helping me by the way.

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #8 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:03:51 »

Offline Hehealedme

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #9 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:06:08 »
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« Last Edit: Mon Dec 08, 2014 - 14:56:56 by Hehealedme »

Offline goodlife3

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #10 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:11:50 »
@Hehealedme,

We don't have a date yet, we are engaged though. We started a savings for house and marriage and once we reached the amount we need, then we were going to decide to marry and buy a house then. We just were unsure of the order we should do it in. I am able to save about $2000 each month for wedding and house. So in a year we should have enough for a big ceremony and down payment for a house.

Offline Hehealedme

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #11 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:22:20 »
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« Last Edit: Mon Dec 08, 2014 - 14:56:35 by Hehealedme »

Offline kensington

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #12 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:22:28 »
Keep saving, set a date, buy the house, one of you live in it until the wedding, and then the other move in.

Offline goodlife3

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #13 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:26:35 »
@Hehealedme

My girl tells me that all the time, but I know inside she would like decent sized one. And since I can actually afford it with some savings then why not. But thanks for your opinion, because this has been driving us crazy for the longest. Thanks

Offline goodlife3

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #14 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:28:31 »
@kensington

Actually that was my favorite option, I just know one of us will be jealous while the other one gets to live lavish haha. But all of everyones opinion relally helps on our decision. Thanks. We are just trying to do this the godly way.

Offline Hehealedme

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #15 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:39:57 »
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« Last Edit: Mon Dec 08, 2014 - 14:56:14 by Hehealedme »

Offline goodlife3

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #16 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:50:33 »
@Hehealedme

I'll have to check it out. Haha sounds like us

Offline Hehealedme

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #17 on: Mon Mar 26, 2012 - 22:59:00 »
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« Last Edit: Mon Dec 08, 2014 - 14:55:53 by Hehealedme »

Offline chosenone

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #18 on: Tue Mar 27, 2012 - 02:39:29 »
The third option.
Living with parents after you are married is a bad idea, both living in the same house before marriage is a bad idea.

I do think that you need to set a date however, and trust God that it will all work out with the house. If after a yer you still havent quite got the house, you can rent for a short time.

I am not sure that you guys in America realise just how blessed you are being able to buy a  home at your very young age. Couples here in the Uk can rarely buy anywhere till they are much much older(if ever), and usually have to rent, (which is also incredibly expensive here). Houses are so expensive. My son is married and he is 33 and his wife is 29. They rent a small appt and are desperately trying to save for a deposit, both working full time. Not sure when they will be able to have children. My daughter marries in 3 weeks. She is 31 and her fiance is 32. Again they will be living in a small appt, because where they live is very expensive. It will be a miracle for all of them to be able to have their own home, but thats what I am praying for!!!

Offline JohnDB

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #19 on: Tue Mar 27, 2012 - 09:11:51 »
Don't buy the house right off. Rent an apartment to begin with. You two are very young & your future together can & will take hard corners & turns at the drop of a hat.

Get married & then rent an apartment. (Or house) and find out what the two of you TOGETHER want and need in a home before purchasing one. Do you need a "man cave"? Or does she need a "sewing room"?
A big kitchen or two bathrooms?

Take your time. You got 50+ years to get all the stuff. Bad neighbors or bad housing can be disastrous.

Offline jeffallen

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #20 on: Fri Mar 30, 2012 - 04:33:19 »
Quote
Get the house, and move in together and shortly after get married?
      - Meaning there will be a grace period where we are living together but aren't married.


I think the second option will be great. If you both are ready to marriage then I don't think so any thing bad in it. Rather you should spent more time with your girlfriend. I believe it gives more time to understand each other.

Offline WeddingInvitations

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #21 on: Tue Apr 10, 2012 - 04:39:02 »
I absolutely agree with kensington!

Offline Jsunshine

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Re: When do we move in for marriage?
« Reply #22 on: Tue Apr 10, 2012 - 22:47:16 »
I would say option 3.

My experience with this is my husband bought a house while we were still dating and kept asking me to move in. Well...I told him that I would not move in with a man unless I was married. Less than a year later, we married and I moved in. But, even though I had my own apartment, I spent a lot of time at the house and I helped picked out the paint for the walls, furniture, etc. So, I think if you are  able to purchase a house before the wedding, definitely do it, just keep the one not living in the house involved in all the decisions, decorating, etc. and build a life together without actually living together until after the wedding. Just my 2 cents.

 

     
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