Author Topic: Why does God allow  (Read 2106 times)

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Offline shabbytia

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Why does God allow
« on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 04:50:09 »
Dear All,

I have a confusion .
I'm married to unbeliever and  after 4 yrs i realized that i have rushed for my marriage without consulting God /wit ignorance of bible verses.
After few yrs of my marriage God made me to know the importance of bible .Before marriage I never read bible and try to understand .
Everything has changed after marriage ,now I wont go out without prayer .I  have only one prayer to do everyday .
God can you give me another chance>

Why did God allow me to marry a  non-believer?
I know I didn't consult God and took my own decision and choosed a  non-believer.Is God punishing me for that ? Im not at all happy with my marriage.Will God give me second chance.Everyone around me says God hates divorce?But would God not care about how I feel?I m prayin for second chance to start life again with a believer? its been 5 yrs and nothing seems to be happening .And there is nothing stopping me also .I can just come out of this relation ship .But again I dnt want to take decision on my own .Im waiting on God.
How should I know if God is signalling me to move out .Im unable to hear him .
Can u pls clear this to me if God  gives second chances for those who wanted to live ?


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Why does God allow
« on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 04:50:09 »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #1 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 07:23:56 »
We all have free will and God doesnt stop us from doing things. You choose to marry him and presumably you loved him and saw good qualities in him. He is your husband and you have no reason to end the marriage unless he has committed adultery or similar, or he is seriously abusive.   Pray for him and the marriage and be the best wife you can. I have 3 close friends who are/were married to non believers. One husband recently converted after 35 years of marriage, the other two are still non believers after very long marriages. We pray for them regularly.  God will never tell you to leave a marriage unless there are reasons to do so. You dont need to ask God, or wait for Him to tell you, He has already told you what to do in the Bible.

1 Corinthians 7:13-15New International Version (NIV)
13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

1 Peter 3 v 1
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,

« Last Edit: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 07:35:38 by chosenone »

Offline MeMyself

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #2 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 08:57:51 »
Why did God allow me to marry a  non-believer?

You have been allowed free will.  Was there no one in your life that warned you in your ignorance of scripture, that God warns believers not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers?  As much as it is tempting to begin to blame God...this is not on Him.


Quote
I know I didn't consult God and took my own decision and choosed a  non-believer.Is God punishing me for that ?

Punishing you? More likely allowing you to experience the consequences of doing what He warned not to do.

Quote
Im not at all happy with my marriage.Will God give me second chance.Everyone around me says God hates divorce?But would God not care about how I feel?I m prayin for second chance to start life again with a believer? its been 5 yrs and nothing seems to be happening .And there is nothing stopping me also .I can just come out of this relation ship .But again I dnt want to take decision on my own .Im waiting on God.
How should I know if God is signalling me to move out .Im unable to hear him .
Can u pls clear this to me if God  gives second chances for those who wanted to live ?

Has he committed adultery? You have biblical grounds to divorce if so..if not;

1 Corinthians 7: 13And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #2 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 08:57:51 »

Offline shabbytia

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #3 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 12:09:32 »
I'm so glad for your message .i understand that God has given all of us free will. There was no one for me to teach or tell that I'm going  against  gods will when I was getting married.very few hinted me but I just didn't care.me and my husband we are just friends and living like friends.ther is nothing like special or anything.he just don't know how to treat a girl.he doesn't care about me and too busy planning for future.
I just can't imagine him as my husband now.i see him I'm getting irritated  that my life is ended.im loosing trust in God.i don't like  this person I'm living with.we r totally different in everything.its 5 years and I'm a virgin .there is no intimacy or romance in our relationship.becos he don't know how to romance .he is so dumb .i wonder what I saw in him and got married.

He is very good at heart and a wonderful human being.he is honest and he  never committed adultery he is so loyal to me.everything is good but what I need is missing in him.there is no bondage .i don't feel anything for him.
I don't want to stay with him .everyday I cry  waking up asking God how many more days .i started developing a hateful behavior towards him.God says in bible wife has to serve husband and do the duty and vice versa.what if husband is not satisfying wife?where should she look around ?God has given everyone desires when they are not fulfilled in marriage where should a wife go to

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #3 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 12:09:32 »

Offline MeMyself

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #4 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 12:25:18 »
I'm so glad for your message .i understand that God has given all of us free will. There was no one for me to teach or tell that I'm going  against  gods will when I was getting married.very few hinted me but I just didn't care.me and my husband we are just friends and living like friends.ther is nothing like special or anything.he just don't know how to treat a girl.he doesn't care about me and too busy planning for future.
I just can't imagine him as my husband now.i see him I'm getting irritated  that my life is ended.im loosing trust in God.i don't like  this person I'm living with.we r totally different in everything.its 5 years and I'm a virgin .there is no intimacy or romance in our relationship.becos he don't know how to romance .he is so dumb .i wonder what I saw in him and got married.

He is very good at heart and a wonderful human being.he is honest and he  never committed adultery he is so loyal to me.everything is good but what I need is missing in him.there is no bondage .i don't feel anything for him.
I don't want to stay with him .everyday I cry  waking up asking God how many more days .i started developing a hateful behavior towards him.God says in bible wife has to serve husband and do the duty and vice versa.what if husband is not satisfying wife?where should she look around ?God has given everyone desires when they are not fulfilled in marriage where should a wife go to

Have you spoken to him about your needs?


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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #4 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 12:25:18 »



Offline chosenone

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #5 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 14:15:43 »
I'm so glad for your message .i understand that God has given all of us free will. There was no one for me to teach or tell that I'm going  against  gods will when I was getting married.very few hinted me but I just didn't care.me and my husband we are just friends and living like friends.ther is nothing like special or anything.he just don't know how to treat a girl.he doesn't care about me and too busy planning for future.
I just can't imagine him as my husband now.i see him I'm getting irritated  that my life is ended.im loosing trust in God.i don't like  this person I'm living with.we r totally different in everything.its 5 years and I'm a virgin .there is no intimacy or romance in our relationship.becos he don't know how to romance .he is so dumb .i wonder what I saw in him and got married.

He is very good at heart and a wonderful human being.he is honest and he  never committed adultery he is so loyal to me.everything is good but what I need is missing in him.there is no bondage .i don't feel anything for him.
I don't want to stay with him .everyday I cry  waking up asking God how many more days .i started developing a hateful behavior towards him.God says in bible wife has to serve husband and do the duty and vice versa.what if husband is not satisfying wife?where should she look around ?God has given everyone desires when they are not fulfilled in marriage where should a wife go to


 Does he know how unhappy you are? Will he go to marriage counseling with you?
Are you saying that you have never had sex with him ever?

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #5 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 14:15:43 »

Offline shabbytia

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #6 on: Tue Mar 29, 2016 - 21:01:50 »
i told him so many times i cried infront of him saying he iscwrong and he shuold treat me as wife and i taught him too.but no use .he feels low whenever i complain.he feels im complaining more .he feels he is not able to kerp me happy and alwaysvthe answer from him is you r nit happy andvyou always complain.
he dosnt care what im gng through.
whenever i try to explain him that im jot complaining im just saying i need these things frim you .he feels im simply making a big issue out of this.
he is dumb he cant understand fewbthings.he have no reatcions or feelings .even when i cry infront of him he dnt know what to do.he simply watches me cry.i have done everything i can .
coming to sex,for a person who has no feelings how does he know sex.he never told me once im beautiful or he never appreciated me .no sex nothing.he is not intrested in sex that much .he is not seeing anyone else as he is very shy person .he is so busy with work and his goal .he is not seeing anything .
i cook meals for him but he never  asks me wether i ate or not.
there is more if i say and this is not complaining but these r facts.
what am i supposed to do with a husband who dont knw anything other than his office work.He is doing wrong to me .he is not treating me as a wife.im missing everything in my life .i feel unappreciated  always.many ppl around me says you are so blessed to have a good husband.becis he is very good to people and good at heart but no one knows whats inside me.
when i went to bibilical counselling as he ia non believer i didnt take him .the counseller only was taking about God hates divorce.you shuld not take divorce.pray .thats all.

its so simple to say Pray.everyday the baggage im carrying is heavy.its 5 yrs and all my desires are being burried and unfulfilled .In this situation does God tell me to just wait and Pray.for what i shuld wait i dont know.

i share my problems with my co worker who is also christian but he tells me to comeout of this .again as my husband is very good person i will be guilty if i leave him . everyone asks me why u r leaving he is so good person .how can i tell my family that im not emotionally or sexually satisfied or i dnt know what to do .
i m praying God to take me out of this place without any insults or guilt.
pls pray for me

Offline chosenone

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #7 on: Wed Mar 30, 2016 - 06:40:14 »
can I ask you this again, have you ever had sex with him? Is your marriage consummated or not?

Offline Alma1995

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #8 on: Wed Mar 30, 2016 - 07:16:14 »
If you never had sex with your husband it means you didn't consummate your marriage. You can walk away if you wish, however, I would ask you to think why you didn't consummate your marriage.  If you did consummate your marriage, I don't see any biblical grounds for divorce.

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #8 on: Wed Mar 30, 2016 - 07:16:14 »

Offline MeMyself

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #9 on: Wed Mar 30, 2016 - 09:28:25 »
What are the qualities that you loved about him to make marrying him so urgent? Try to focus on those things because if you are going in thinking of him as dumb etc, chances are that you will come off as complaining rather than an attitude of love and care for your relationship.
If you have talked to him, I would go to a pastor and get their help/advice.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #10 on: Wed Mar 30, 2016 - 09:39:15 »
If you never had sex with your husband it means you didn't consummate your marriage. You can walk away if you wish, however, I would ask you to think why you didn't consummate your marriage.  If you did consummate your marriage, I don't see any biblical grounds for divorce.
 

Yes thats why I am asking her if they ever had sex. If they havent she can get an annulment. If they have, even just a few times, then that option is closed.

Offline shabbytia

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #11 on: Wed Mar 30, 2016 - 22:51:23 »
Yes we never had sex at all .The reason  i Don't know still but when i come near him I dnt feel good.I always have a thought in my mind I had ended up with a wrong person .I rushed for marraige not knowing anything about him or his habits or his thinking.
It happened so fast i ignored all warnings  coming from all sides.Now Im in dicey situation serching for answers for all my questions.
Thanks for letting me know all your  precious advices.I'm gng to consult a pastor on this and will post the discussions.
Pls keep me in your prayers .

Offline chosenone

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #12 on: Thu Mar 31, 2016 - 03:39:16 »
In that case you can legally get an annulment.

Offline Jason_NC

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #13 on: Fri Apr 01, 2016 - 18:42:50 »
Sex or not, married is married in the eyes of God.

God hates divorce.  Unless he has committed adultery there isn't a biblical grounds for divorce.

Remember also God works everything in your life for your good, Christlikeness.  Perhaps God wants you to lear patience, or unconditional love, or forgiveness.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #14 on: Sat Apr 02, 2016 - 03:16:42 »
Sex or not, married is married in the eyes of God.

God hates divorce.  Unless he has committed adultery there isn't a biblical grounds for divorce.

Remember also God works everything in your life for your good, Christlikeness.  Perhaps God wants you to lear patience, or unconditional love, or forgiveness.

In the Bible sexual intercouse actually sealed the marriage covenant. if they havent had sex that hasnt happened. 

Offline TJW

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #15 on: Mon Apr 04, 2016 - 06:58:55 »
For just a moment..... let's stop and think about this with just plain ole horse sense.  Not bible, not christian, just common sense.

This marriage is obviously a mistake.  In any other realm of life, what we would do is CORRECT the mistake, and move forward.
It's also obvious that you have no children to be affected by the break-up.  The break up, which for you will obviously be a gigantic relief,
and, I'd be willing to bet that it will for your husband, too.   I don't think either of your needs are being met by it.

In other words, I think, in this case, that the marriage/divorce is the "gnat" and what it's doing to both of you is the "camel".

Quote
How should I know if God is signalling me to move out .Im unable to hear him .

God doesn't work that way, with "signals", "fleeces", etc.  He gives us His Word, and His Holy Spirit, and it is for us to choose what we do.
 
Quote
Can u pls clear this to me if God  gives second chances for those who wanted to live ?

Yes, not only second, but thirds, fourths, fifths.  God is both the God of the married and the God of the divorced, yes, even of the woman at the well who had 5 husbands, and was living with a man who was not her husband, and yes, the God of the single, too.

« Last Edit: Mon Apr 04, 2016 - 12:46:14 by TJW »

Offline Jason_NC

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #16 on: Tue Apr 05, 2016 - 16:42:45 »
Sex or not, married is married in the eyes of God.

God hates divorce.  Unless he has committed adultery there isn't a biblical grounds for divorce.

Remember also God works everything in your life for your good, Christlikeness.  Perhaps God wants you to lear patience, or unconditional love, or forgiveness.

In the Bible sexual intercouse actually sealed the marriage covenant. if they havent had sex that hasnt happened.

Chapter and verse?

And what of the rest of my post?   ::smile::
« Last Edit: Tue Apr 05, 2016 - 16:54:01 by Jason_NC »

Offline planetshaker

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #17 on: Mon Apr 11, 2016 - 23:50:29 »
This is not a marriage this is two people being roomates. You never had sex with him so in a way you're really not married.Imho you have grounds to leave.I'm sure you will get alot of legalism about divorce and remarriage but since you are a virgin still you have absolute freedom. to leave. If you are a practicing catholic you can be granted an annulment. But if not just get an uncontested divorce. I think some of your fears will how the church will treat you. I think in just abot 90% your going to be ok.

You have liberty to divorce and remarry.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Why does God allow
« Reply #18 on: Tue Apr 12, 2016 - 04:14:06 »
This is not a marriage this is two people being roomates. You never had sex with him so in a way you're really not married.Imho you have grounds to leave.I'm sure you will get alot of legalism about divorce and remarriage but since you are a virgin still you have absolute freedom. to leave. If you are a practicing catholic you can be granted an annulment. But if not just get an uncontested divorce. I think some of your fears will how the church will treat you. I think in just abot 90% your going to be ok.

You have liberty to divorce and remarry.
 

even if she isnt catholic she can still legally get an annulment. 

 

     
anything