Wife is "head over heels" in love with another man - is there any hope?

[chosenone]

God Bless you PJ. Dont worry too much about her panic attacks. I had many of then years ago and they arent dangerous and wont kill her. They are just due to some anxiety, and are controllable with simple measures.
I pray that God is working in her right now.

[primaryjustice]

lightshineon - Thanks for your continued prayers. During this time apart, I've started to focus more on looking where I went wrong, and one of the things I've noticed is I took my wife for granted a lot. I'm praying and trying to focus more now on what I can do to improve instead of what she's done wrong. When/if the time comes, there will be time to deal with the adultery, but during this time of separation I want to draw as close to God as possible and have him show me the "log in my own eye".

chosenone - I'm definitely trying my best to not be anxious about where she may be right now. I know the one job she had was very much part time and far, and I don't think she had any other source of stable income. One of the hardest things in all of this is it's in my nature to want to protect my wife, but I know in my heart that's not what I need to do right now. In fact, as the days have gone on I've had a strong desire off and on to contact her, but as I pray I realize I would only be getting in God's way right now if I tried to do anything. I have to stand clear, pray without ceasing, and let God do His thing.

Many blessings to all and thank you for your continued prayers for both myself and my wife.

[chosenone]

lightshineon - Thanks for your continued prayers. During this time apart, I've started to focus more on looking where I went wrong, and one of the things I've noticed is I took my wife for granted a lot. I'm praying and trying to focus more now on what I can do to improve instead of what she's done wrong. When/if the time comes, there will be time to deal with the adultery, but during this time of separation I want to draw as close to God as possible and have him show me the "log in my own eye".

chosenone - I'm definitely trying my best to not be anxious about where she may be right now. I know the one job she had was very much part time and far, and I don't think she had any other source of stable income. One of the hardest things in all of this is it's in my nature to want to protect my wife, but I know in my heart that's not what I need to do right now. In fact, as the days have gone on I've had a strong desire off and on to contact her, but as I pray I realize I would only be getting in God's way right now if I tried to do anything. I have to stand clear, pray without ceasing, and let God do His thing.

Many blessings to all and thank you for your continued prayers for both myself and my wife.

 PJ yes you are right. Often love needs to be tough, and it will be hard for you to leave her to God. However it is good that she has family to stay with as many dont have that option. I think it is also good for you to see where you may have gone wrong, but please remember that we ALL take our spouses for granted sometimes, so dont beat yourself up about that too much. For most of us that doesnt result in our spouse having an affair.
None of us are perfect and no one can expect their spouse to be perfect all the time, its part of marriage that we accept our spouse as they are.

[primaryjustice]

chosenone - Thanks for your words of encouragement. You're absolutely correct about accepting our spouses as they are. It's part of loving and caring for them. While I know that a number of different things play into an affair, I don't blame myself and in fact am not sure there's anything I could have ever done to prevent it. There are issues in her past which need to be worked out with God, and it seems like now is the time for God to refine her, and myself as well.

[chosenone]

yes God does use this sort of painful situation to work on us for our good,and whatever happens to you and your wife, he will bring good out of this.
Its also a time when our faith is tested and we see where we really are with God isnt it. 
God Bless

[primaryjustice]

Absolutely what I believe. I think I mentioned it before, but I'm letting Romans 8:28 stand right in the center of the promises God's given during this time. All things will work together for good. He can see beginning from end and knows all of it, and as difficult as it is for me to accept, I have to trust Him with all of this completely.

It's actually pretty awesome to realize that when faith is tested, we can run to God and see that he never left, never moved, but was just waiting for us to run back to Him and to show us His love.

[lightshineon]

 Sometimes PJ, we all have done wrong, and we need to do a heart check. Though do not get into commendation, nothing excuses adultery, and sometimes what she, or others may tell you is simply not true, to deflect guilt from themselves. true humility, would be for her to say, I am so sorry, not I did this because.

[primaryjustice]

lightshineon, you hit a really good point there. I believe in my heart that the only way my wife and I will ever be able to reconcile is if first she reconciles with God. She knows right from wrong, and what the Bible says more than I do, however she's hardened her heart to God because of what she's engaged in. God can soften her up, definitely, but she has to be open for it. I don't know what it will take to get there, so I'm just doing my best to trust God in all of this, no matter where it all goes.

[primaryjustice]

Hello all. I don't normally do this but I really need prayer today. Not sure why but it's been an especially difficult day in dealing with the situation with me and my wife. I guess that's what the devil does, considering the past couple of days were really good. Please pray that I would be strengthened and have God's peace. I know he's there, but I really need his peace right now.

Please also continue to pray for my wife. Haven't spoken with her since she left other than a few texts about picking up mail.

Thank you to all.

[lightshineon]

 Hi Pj, I guess led by the Spirit, I prayed for you first thing this morning for you, see God, cares and sees your suffering, and loves you very much.

[primaryjustice]

thanks lightshineon. I really appreciate that. It means a lot to know there are people both close and far that are praying for my wife and myself along with the numerous other people and items on their prayer lists. It truly is a blessing.

[lightshineon]

 You doing ok today PJ?

[primaryjustice]

Getting through the days with God's help. Thanks for asking. Feels like I'm depressed but I know it will pass too...just takes time. God is still on His throne, even when I can't feel Him it doesn't change.

Thanks for your concern and continued prayers for my wife and myself!

[vmand]

 


same story here PJ, I pray for you too, and for all in our position all over the world. And I think we must remain calm and stand

and wait to see God's victory for "the battle is not ours says the Lord...".


God bless

[primaryjustice]

vmand - I'm sorry to hear you're having similar trouble. I've discovered as I've begun reaching out to more and more people that this is an all too common occurrence, and everyone has either had it happen to them or knows of someone who has.

You absolutely have the correct attitude. My prayer has been for God to do a work in my wife's heart as well as in mine, and although it's one of the hardest lessons I'm learning, we do have to wait on Him for this. I continue to pray for my wife (though recently I really haven't wanted too), and will keep you in prayer as well along with an number of others in similar situations.

Thanks for the encouragement, and to all for your continued prayers for my wife and myself.