My wife and i have been together for 5 years and married for almost 1. i joined the army a year and a half ago and after getting married Why?
I just do not understand why a man would join the armed forces and leave a wife behind~it just does not make sense to me. It certainly is not wise to do so, for either party. One reason would be you the problem you are now dealing with. It's hard to expect a wife to remain faithful with her husband gone from her and most likely she's working around other males, which within itself is not good either with you at home or not home, but you away makes it a very tempting situation, for any person, spiritual or not spiritual.
Within a week i was told I got orders to go to Germany for 9 months.
That's is not good, to be very blunt and honest. I been with my wife for over fifty years and have been away from her at night very few times, I can count them on my hands. There will be cases when that's not possible but they should be minimized as much as possible.
We spent less than a month in our house living as husband and wife.
You did not have enough time to cheer her up, if you know what I mean...That was not fair for your wife and YOU place her in a very vulnerable situation, and yourself, but especially your wife.
About a month ago (2 months before returning home) she called me and said that she had gotten drunk one night and had a one night stand. Hearing that killed me. To know that our sacred vows that we professed before god had been thrown away. She then proceeded to tell me that it happened two days prior and that she couldnt live with the guilt of not telling me.
Sad, but it happens all the time and many times could be prevented with godly wisdom.
She also said that it made her realize that even though she still loved me. She wasnt in love with me.
I have heard that before, but must confess, I have no idea what that means and NEITHER does the person saying it. We LEARN to love people and are commanded to do so. Husbands CAN LEARN to love their wives~what some call love is no more than sexual attraction, but love is defined for us by God in 1st Corinthians 13 which the world knows nothing of. I have LEARNED to love my wife, I was really sexually attracted by her (and still am) looks and her body, but knew not one thing about loving her....it took a few years to get this thing call LOVE down according to God's definition.
I think i am still in love with her and want to get to the bottom of all this and go to counseling to see if she said this because she meant it, or because the alternative would be to hard. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and do not want to throw everything we have been through out the window. I would appreciate any advice on how to keep this marriage for both our sakes. Or if it would be wiser to just give her the divorce once I come back hope
Good for you, for having such a forgiving spirit that is the beginning
of loving a person. If she is willing to work on her marriage with you, then do so,. BUT, if you truly want to make your marriage work, then you MUST forget her past and NEVER bring it up again AGAINST HER, especially the first time she may
say to you~honey, I am tired can we wait? Your mind would be tempted to throw up her past and that would not be good. Forgiving is FORGETTING.
May God be gracious unto you as you seek spiritual advice and truly heal your marriage and make it 100 times better than you ever dream could be. The Lord Jesus Christ be with you spirit and guide and comfort you in paths of peace, joy, and happiness is my sincere prayer for you~at least you are seeking spiritual advice, which is good and is pleasing to God.