We must also be careful not to misdiagnose this in our own spouse.
For example, a woman who insists on being the primary concern of her husband is not being narcissistic but rather biblically wise. We guys (especially early in the marriage) want to go out with the boys and she is not onboard with it and we react like she's a narcissist and a killjoy.
If you wanted to run with the boys... you didn't need to commit to starting a family.
Don't get me wrong... the fashion industry, the cosmetics industry, and the cosmetic surgery industry all exist as testimony to the narcissistic world we live in (both genders) in the hundreds of billions of dollars annually... in America.
Dare I bloody some toes here?
The nice car, new computer, ipad, smart phone... sports package on the dish...
"You ain't preachin'! You's meddlin'!"
The OP may have a legit case here, so I am not saying he doesn't... but I suggest he make a list of his narcissisms / indulgences and dock the equivalent from the list he's keeping of hers (yes, there's a list, it may be mental, but there's a list)... now take off some that are not so much narcissism on her account but rather centered around making a good home for you and your family to live in...
Is the list pretty small now?
If not, consider also that we live in a narcissistic society and women have been pushed into ever more traditionally male roles and they deal with it as best they can with a feminine nature and it sometimes comes across as being stuck on themselves.
How's the list doing now?
Yeah yeah it's a traditional gathering point for us guys to crab on and on about how unreasonable our wives are... but most of us have it better than we think.
Oh, and bear in mind that women are very insecure.
If we lavish today on our wives the attention and compliments etc like we did in the beginning when we were trying to get the ring on her finger... you'd be amazed how un-narcissitic she would be!