Author Topic: I can't get my mind off of sex... PLEASE HELP!!  (Read 398 times)

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Offline iAmGr00t

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I can't get my mind off of sex... PLEASE HELP!!
« on: Mon Jan 07, 2019 - 16:11:00 »
Okay.  I'm 17 in high school.  I've recently had a burst of testosterone in last month as my sex drive is through the roof.  I've relapsed porn, and there's this really cute girl that's into me and I'm into her.  It's all lust, nothing more.  We once had a very sexually charged conversation over text.  No bad pics or anything like that, but it had so much sexual energy it was insane!  I need help to resist this girl.  She's not a Christian and I have no clue how to flee from her without hurting her, because were friends at the moment, but there's definitely this energy there.  I just feel like lately I have no choice but to masturbate to tame my sex drive.  I'm a virgin and really want to stay that way until marriage.  Please help me!  I also really want to give up porn but time and time again it conquers me.  Everything I do seems to just compound into greater lust.. Please Help Me!

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I can't get my mind off of sex... PLEASE HELP!!
« on: Mon Jan 07, 2019 - 16:11:00 »

Offline Dave_UK

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Re: I can't get my mind off of sex... PLEASE HELP!!
« Reply #1 on: Thu Jan 10, 2019 - 02:18:17 »
...  I also really want to give up porn but time and time again it conquers me...

Next time you look at porn - just observe if the models being photographed are showing any observable signs of genuine affection for one another - instead of just "doing things" with their genitals!  Think you will come to the conclusion that it's all a show "con" - and that will help switch you off from it!  You will come to realize that REALITY is better than porn imitation - we live in a REAL world and need to show genuine care and compassion for one another - real life is not not a "Bang, Bang, Wham" business!

Just re-reading Romans chapter 6 yet again - Paul really "hit the nail on the head" when he wrote "So sin shall no longer be your master, exacting obedience to the body's desires"  The decision is in our hands - while in the body, there will always be the conflict between satisfying "the flesh" and obeying what the Spirit wishes for us.  Find yourself some really innocent absorbing interest (athletic perhaps - tire yourself out, so you desperately need a recuperative snooze?) and strive to do well at it - you may not bust any  "records"  by engaging in it, but it will help take your mind off of impure things which will only lead to degradation. Above all things - do not allow wrong thoughts to lead you into carrying out wrong actions - otherwise you may spend the rest of your life bitterly regretting the wrong decisions you've made! There is a "cost" to everything, and the "cost", or repercussions, arising from our foolish acts, may have long-lasting unpleasant impacts. 

Re the rest of your post (apart from my extract!) - Keep a "cool head" and don't let those raging hormones drive you into a foolish situation.  After many decades of existence, I can warn you that you will always have a struggle - the urge for self-pleasing never wanes (until our last gasp perhaps!) That's just the way we are - and we have to live with it!  Paul wrote "Do you not know that your body is the temple of the indwelling Spirit, and the Spirit is God's gift to you. You do not belong to yourselves, but were bought at a price, then honour God in your body".  Paul has such wise advice for us - so take note of what he wrote!  If you claim to be a Christian , baptized into the death and resurrection of Lord Jesus, to walk the new path of life with Him - then you must realize that you are in a life-partnership with Christ - He in us and we in Him.  So let's not grieve Him by our daft actions!!!

Paul in his epistles writes of "a great cloud of witnesses" effectively "cheering us on" to do well.  If you come from a loving family, any mishaps or "scrapes" you get into - will cause them much grief and possibly shame.  Normally parents are most deeply concerned and anxious for the well-being of their off-spring!  So don't bring grief to them by selfish thoughtless action.  It has been said "no man is an island", the actions we take affect others, like the ripples that spread out from a stone dropped into a pond - so let's treat others with respect and care. (Do-As-You-Would-Be-Done-By!)

You may find some of Paul's other advice helpful - like 1 Thess 4:2-8 "For you know what orders we gave you in the name of the Lord Jesus.  This is the will of God, that you should be holy: you must abstain from fornication; each one of you must learn to gain mastery over his body, to hallow and honour it, not giving way to lust like the pagans who are ignorant of God; and no man must do his brother wrong in this matter, or invade his rights, because, as we told you before with all emphasis, the Lord punishes all such offences. For God called us to holiness, not to impurity.  Anyone therefore who flouts these rules, is flouting, not man, but God who  bestows upon you His Holy Spirit"

Also the advice for a young man given in Proverbs 4:20-27 : -

"My son, attend to my speech; pay heed to my words; do not let them slip out of your mind; keep them close in your heart; for they are life to him who finds them; and health to his whole body. Guard your heart more than any treasure, for it is the source of all life. Keep your mouth from crooked speech and your lips from deceitful talk. Let your eyes look straight before you, fix your gaze upon what lies ahead. Look out for the path that your feet must take and your ways will be secure. Swerve neither to right nor left, and keep clear of every evil thing.”

We do well to commit to memory the good advice in God's Word to us  (The sword of the Spirit! - USE IT!!!) - recalling and reciting it quietly to ourselves, when danger besets us!!!   

On the business of masturbation - to seemingly "take the pressure off"!  IMO it is not a good solution - it "nourishes"/encourages "day-dreams" of having sex with some partner, and "magnifies" the act   Far better to turn away from it - to "shut it off" by a change of thought, because there are other far better things for you to do!- Magnify the Lord instead - God "inhabits" the praises of His people! Don't fall into the trap - some chaps have  "lost the plot", masturbating habitually, indulging on a frequent daily basis - DON'T be one of that wretched band! "Lust indulged sickens a man, and fools are loathe to change their ways."  So on a practical note - what's the worst that can happen if the pressure is not "taken off"?  OK!, so wear underpants in bed at night to help absorb any "unconscious nocturnal emissions", and stuff your "soiled pants" into the washing machine before "brekky - just accepting it as a natural occurrence! We are what we are, and only the Lord can change us (if we let Him!).  Trying to solve our problem by exerting will-power, may provide some limited success, but will falter after a while - we are so weak!

 Have just seen a video clip of some expert talking to a gathering of young chaps on the seemingly irrelevant topic of "why chaps join gangs" - the speaker said that the really strong chaps knew how to "receive and inflict punishment" in a controlled manner - without things getting out of hand. By contrast, weak chaps just "blow their top" in an uncontrolled way - since they have never learned to take, and maybe return "punishment" (e.g. as in  boxing or other combat sports!) in a controlled way. Aggressive, yes! - but in a manly measured way!  Having written this, am not sure what the "moral" is - but I was just struck by it's possible application to how we react to the "ups and downs" of life!

P.S.  The O.P. might find it interesting/helpful to look at the thread "Refraining from masturbation" on our chaps sexual matters sub-forum.  Another point to be watched is that of "censoring" what we see and possibly hear - don't expose the "eye-gate" (or listen to sexy talk etc,) with things that might make our primitive urges worse! Uh-huh! that takes will-power! Try - a short-term fast from that stuff for a while, to see how one gets on!
« Last Edit: Fri Jan 11, 2019 - 04:18:57 by Dave_UK »

Offline Ohan

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Re: I can't get my mind off of sex... PLEASE HELP!!
« Reply #2 on: Tue Feb 19, 2019 - 18:46:22 »
You'r 17 ~ can't get sex off your mind ~  we can't ether ~ some of us have been ~ 17 several times and can look back and see that the trouble we caused ourselves and pain for our parents ~ came from aiming in the wrong direction ~ as soon as we/you figure it will be ok ~ even desirable to take another bite out of the apple ~ we've found ~ we were up to our necks in shise ~ and we're standing on our heads ```

Nope we can't help you ~ well, maybe someone can ~ the Lord can ~ talk to Him ~ I'm sure you can work it out between the Two of you ~ Good luck ~ and God bless from an older brother ```